Heart Shaped Box
by KatieWoo
Summary: Zoe Teller uses her life for inspiration for her art, what will happen when Juice complicates their once easy friendship? what about when the man who rejected her patches in? Plus Zoe and her brother Jax have both called dibs on Clay's demise. Complicated? You have no idea!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: hi there this is the first SOA fic that I've posted**, **so lets see how it goes shall we. I hope you like it drop me a review.**

**Cheers my dears.**

**R&R .**

**I only own my ocs **

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 1

(Gemma)

_I always said that if you come into this life of ours looking for perfection and a happy, easy life you're always gonna be sorely disappointed. Our life doesnt just hand you a stack of unmarked bills with a smile on its face. No it gives you sleepless nights, restless days and its known to jade all of the innocents that it touches._

_You need to be stronger than every other bitch you're facing down, yet you have to strike a balance, because your club still have to be able to come to you for support. Balls of steel and a heart of gold._

_Its us old ladies, the wives, the mothers, the sisters that can make or break a charter, even the mother charter of Samcro. We're the glue that holds it all together, whether the guys like to admit it or not, the truth is just what it is._

Zoe Teller had no idea what day it was, never mind what time it was, her studio was bereft of clocks and calenders. She'd been on lock down, knee deep in her work, not stopping for anyone or anything, the only thing that got her attention was food and sleep, it had been that way for fuck only knows how long now.

The knocking on the locked metal door had long since ceased and she'd worked through bikes coming and going, through the loud rock music, it had all ended hours ago from her reckoning. But her eyes were now growing gritty, she could no longer focus on the canvas in front of her. Damn it she was hitting the brick wall of exhaustion- finally it had caught up with her.

Zoe's long dark hair was falling out of its once neatly piled up bun. She removed the paint brushes that had been spearing it and dropped them into the waiting jar of terps on the ledge of the blacked out solitary window. Her whole body was aching and sluggish as she padded bare foot to the tiny bathroom in the corner of her of her sanctuary. While washing her hands and arms she ignored her reflection in the mirror hung over the sink, that horror show could be saved until after she'd slept.

Throwing herself down on the old chez, she pulled the dark blue throw over herself, eyeing her completed painting on its easel and exhaled- _totally worth feeling this fucking tired over! _She let her big green eyes slide shut and let her ever over fertile subconscious take her over...

Zoe's mind was taken back in time to _that _night six years ago. His words- so unnecessarily harsh and painful, made that much worse by the cruel sneer painting his hard mouth-

_'Get the fuck out of here, you're just a fucking kid.'_

It had been at a party at the clubhouse for her college graduation, she'd been 22- _far from being a kid! _But how could she compete with all of the blonde crow eaters he surrounded himself with? The answer was- she couldnt compete.

One misguided crush from her school days, a beer buzz and some encouragement from that little invisible devil on her shoulder and bang- one shattered heart.

After what he'd said to her she knew that she couldnt break, she'd refused to cry in front of him. That'd have been one humiliation too far, so she'd walked away, head held high, hitched ride home from her mom, faking illness, wanting as much distance between them as possible in a town the size of Charming.

That night had been the catalyst for her first big contracted exhibition. The pain and the rejection, itd been poured into those twenty pieces and she'd worked like a woman possessed on them. Her studio was an old garage at Teller Morrow- mainly so her mom could keep an eye on her. And by this time Zoe was sure that she'd turned into a big bag of crazy, even she couldnt fool herself there.

Her work was beautiful- some full of scenes of great passion, love and sex. Others full of horror, shame and pain. But she'd done a very special one that she was particularly proud of, it was a self portrait- she was wearing just an evil smile, sat in a dark room, lit only by a few candles, surrounded by scattered bullets, her long fingers with their red painted nails, reaching down to the bullets, it was aptly named- _The Culling of Him._

It was Zoe basically picking her bullet to commit her fantasy murder with- _hell hath no fury- _and all that good shit.

That cold prick had devastated her, because under all of her sexy clothes that her mom had encouraged her to wear- she'd still only been 22, still young in so many ways, her naïve heart had been foolish to believe that he was just waiting for her to make her move.

At her lowest point she'd done two paintings that had really said it all- one was of a girl walking in the fog on a dirt road surrounded by eery dream like trees, the other was of the same girl laid on the road, clutching her chest, blood spilling from between her pale fingers and a heavy booted foot was stepping on her torn out heart.

The guys of the club were used to seeing Zoe covered in paint, not a scrap of make up, not speaking, shutting out the world. But they all figured that that was how all crazy artists worked. After all they were hardly the poster boys for normality, so who were they to judge?

To them she was a typical Teller- a deep thinker, just like John. They worked their shit out alone and they went at their own pace, people just had to sit back and wait, like it or not- they'd never rush or be rushed.

It was Gemma who'd been the one to finally get sick of waiting for her baby girl so snap out of it, she'd barged past her daughter in the studio doorway and took a look at the work that'd held Zoe captive for so long and it was nothing short of disturbing. Beautiful and sexy in places with it all had a bitter edge to it.

''Baby girl , this bullshit isolation has to end right now.''

''Well, you've got some good timing ma I've just finished.''

Zoe's smile looked forced, her once life filled eyes were glassy and tired, Gemma knew this girl was in hell-

''Cut the shit Zo, what's going on in that big brain of yours? _This -'' _Gemma pointed to all of the paintings lining the room- ''isnt the work of a happy girl.''

Zoe had inwardly cringed at the use of the H word-

''I needed to vent _this-'' _she flipped her paint covered hand to the work- ''it's just a job ma, just work.''

''You've been in here for the better part of three months, you dont come to family dinners, you dont go home and you ditch club parties. Its like we've got this fucking ghost on the lot, who drifts through our lives every so often, surrounded by silence.''

She laughed at her mom's words and to her own ears it was a hollow sound- ''I'm not insane ma...just..hurt.''

''Hurt? Who hurt you!?'' the fierce momma side of the biker queen emerged, hackles up, claws ready to tear apart the guilty.

''Just some guy. I thought he liked me back...fucker flirted with me enough...every time I saw him in fact. When I finally made a move, he just gives me this look like its the most horrific thing I could dream up, the look was boarder line disgust.''

''Hence these?'' Gemma's eyes went around the paintings again.

Zoe nodded- ''Hence.''

''Honey if a guy dares to treat my princess like that, then he barely registers as worthy of a god damn doodle on a coaster never mind a whole exhibition.''

she smirked at her mothers words- ''Maybe, but this way I get to make some money off the jerk off.''

the look of motherly pride was unmissable, the fire was still alive under all of the damage, she was her mothers daughter after all in many ways. But scratch beneath the surface and in her heart she was all J.T, just like Jax was.

Zoe became quite a famous artist over the next six years, for her gritty, sexy but haunting work. It all sold for large sums and she'd been exhibited all over the USA and Europe. She'd travelled the world for inspiration and in that time she'd really grown up and learned to live with her once misguided heart. She'd found out exactly who she was, she was strong, a survivor, a true Teller.

(PRESENT)

Jax entered the office wiping his hands on the oily rag-

''Hey ma, any sign of Zo yet?''

''No, she's pushing herself too hard again, Juice says she hadnt been home in days.'' Gemma lit a cigarette, holding it between her perfectly manicured fingers- ''She'd better come out from under her rock soon, we've got Tacoma coming down, big patch in huh. She has to be there, she's the sister to the pres after all.''

Jax saw her proud smirk- ''I know ma,but we can't and never could control Zo. She is who she is, goes where ever the hell inspiration takes her. Her work's her baby.''

''If she'd get off her cute butt and found herself a man, she'd have _real babies.''_

he couldnt help but grin- ''Two grand babies not enough for you now?''

''No.''

''Don't let Tara hear you say that shit, she'll think you want her to be the lone Teller baby factory.''

From outside they heard Chib's shout in his broad Scottish brogue for most of Charming to hear-

''SHE LIVES!''

Gemma craned her neck and looked down the lot, sure enough Zoe was stepping out of her self imposed prison, shielding her eyes from the early morning sun.

Zoe laughed at all the guys cheering from the auto shops open bay doors, she did a cute little curtsey for them. Tig hopped off the swing, discarding his cigarette and met her half way across-

''How you doing sweetheart?''

she hugged him close- ''Not too bad Tigger, just one question- what day is it?''

He couldnt hold back the chuckle at her cute puzzled expression- ''Its Friday, big party tonight, we got a patch in going down, from Tacoma.''

''_Tacoma?!''_ she felt a little light headed, but had to pull it together, she couldnt let her guard slip around this guy, Tig was too sharp not to spot shit like that- ''You're still smiling to can't be Koz.''

''Nah, surfer boy aint coming home, but he'll be here, I'm not spilling. Go see Juice, retards worried.''

She nudged his side- ''Aww Tigger you look kinda worried too.''

''We all are doll, especially that moron, so go see him, give us some peace, his practically your old _lady.'' _he teased.

Zoe rolled her eyes- ''Button it Trager, we're _just friends _, so lay off him he had enough of your shit when you sponsored him.''

''Then go be real _friendly _and check in with him.'' he said not wanting to see Juice's worried face bringing down his day yet again.

''Yes momma Tigger.'' she smiled full of mock sweetness, loving that she could make him smile as he rolled his piercing blue eyes and off she went to the clubhouse.

Heading through the door she saw Juice in his corner of the darkened main room, some sane member had left the blinds mainly shut. He was at his little work station typing furiously, utterly focused. The usual smell of the clubhouse- smoke, booze, cheap perfume and equally cheap pussy- momentarily masked by the fresh scent of pine and lemon cleaning products. She had to thank Phil again for being thorough, he had the oddest flair for cleaning.

She tip toed over to her friend and house mate. Loving how caught up he got when it came to his hacking. Unable to help herself she stood behind him, leaned in and said in her sexiest voice very close to his ear-

''Juicy baby I've missed you so much.''

Juice jumped a mile- ''Shit!''

Hearing Zoe's rich laughter brought him back around, there she stood all 5ft6 of her, petite hipped in her boyfriend style jeans , her snug black tank top show casing her incredible 34DD rack to perfection. Zoe was a striking little thing, a really bizarre mix of scary bitch and free spirited artist, the scary side made him glad to be in her good graces in the roll of- best friend.

''Zo, you nearly gave me a heart attack.'' he breathed heavily.

''I know.'' she smiled from ear to ear- ''I couldnt help myself, sorry Ortiz. So what'd I miss this time?''

''Not much, Tacoma coming down, a patch in vote, Tig's latest freak fest sex marathon in the dorms, you know just the usual shit.'' he shrugged dealing her a big smile, he was so glad to see her looking so happy and normal.

''Good.'' she didnt _dare _ ask Juice who was patching in, he'd give her the truth and that particular truth had the potential to ruin her good day, so she just winked and headed off to his dorm room- ''I'm using your shower.''

''Good you stink.'' he called watching her shoot him the finger over her shoulder as she left.

Zoe didnt want to think about who else could be riding in from Tacoma, she loved Kozik to death, but he was the only one from Washington that she really spent time with, he was fun and they always had movie marathons on the nights when couldnt sleep and she was at the the clubhouse.

Her guts still churned as she tried not to think of the bad turn this patch in could take, she got pretty rough with her hair washing, until she was forced to calm down when she grabbed her conditioner to attempt to smooth out the knots she'd created. Please dont let it be _him._

Once she was done, in her worried state she got dried and into the clean clothes she had stashed on the top shelf of Juice's closet. There was only one way to appease this kind of tension- baking. Bobby had taught her well. So by lunch time she had a counter top full of muffins, which the guys were swarming all over like locusts.

Tig's phone rang through the layers of conversation-

''Hey bro...sure...no problem...hell yeah we are man!''

when the call was wrapped up he looked around- ''Guys, they're gonna be here within the hour, Happy can't wait to get here, said they're about an hour away, they made really good time.''

Zoe forced back the urge to vomit in the sink, oh god _Happy! _If Koz wasnt patching in the Happy _was! _Fuck! SHE'D AVOIDED HIM FOR SIX WHOLE YEARS! Every party, every charity run, every stop over, she'd been magically too busy to attend, clearly her luck had packed up its ass and hit the bricks big time.

Juice watched her go pale beneath her cute as hell freckles, her big green eyes were darting all over the kitchen looking for the quickest route to the door for her escape. He was hot on her heels when she made her get away from the noisy group. He'd seen that look before and it didnt lead anywhere good.

Zoe was pacing in his dorm room, then very thankful for his OCD tidiness, the floor was clutter free, so she had saved herself a broken ankle while being too distracted to give much mind to her safety.

Nobody but Luann's daughter Kelly knew about her past dealings with Happy. The former Nomad had always been her crush, so itd been a revelation when he'd started secretly flirting with her at just 15 years old.

He was a man of few words, but he let his actions speak volumes. It'd be a wink, a stroke to her lower back when nobody was watching. It's be a heavy look after a win in the boxing ring- all sweat slicked and bloody, his eyes wild with dark fire and sheer dangerous heat.

It had been torture how he'd give her just enough to keep her crush alive, but not enough to be at all obvious, never stepping over the line, so he still had full deniability.

Looking back now she knew that he'd kept her on the hook, but she'd allowed that, just to hear the way he'd say her name, that rough gravel voice of his had been one of the sexiest things she'd heard even to that very day. The summer she'd turned 17 before he senior year, he'd spent the whole summer in Charming and that had been when she'd fallen for him and first love had hit her hard. The flirting in hind sight had probably been a sick game to pass the quiet days of that long hot summer.

After all when she was old enough to go for it and experienced enough to handle what his reputation amongst the crow eaters had promised, she'd been kicked to the curb and treat like she was still 15 not a grown woman of 22.

Zoe turned hearing the dorm room door open, meeting Juice's concerned big brown eyes-

''talk to me Zo.'' he urged her in his soothing tone.

Her long skilled fingers speared into her elbow length natural waves gulping- ''I think I've fucked up.''

''How?''

''remember when I was 22 and all...''

''crazy?'' he bit his tongue- ''Sorry- _depressed.''_

''yeah that, I think its coming back- in a manner of speaking.''

He felt scared for her back then no amount of talking of valium had helped break her from her rut, the only thing that had helped was letting her paint and focus on her job.

He carefully took her wrists to keep her from tugging at her hair-

''No, you're not like that any more, you're a bit eccentric and obsessive but you're not crazy, I'm not sure what flipped the switch and made you think that but I'm here for you just like I was back then.''

''Just like you were back then huh?'' she smirked winking at him, managing to calm down a little more.

He chuckled at the memory she was hinting at, six years ago, to break through the log jam of her work stress and his club stresses, they'd given in and had one long wild night of red hot sex. Leading him to confessing to a pretty odd fetish- a passion for ''shaving'' women. He had called it _personal pleasure grooming _and she'd indulged him and allowed him to shave her, he'd gifted her with a lightning bolt.

Juice met her eyes and wanted to keep her smiling so her said-

''You never know lightning could strike the same place twice.''

Thankfully she laughed, a true laugh and she enveloped him in a hug-

''Thanks for just being..._you _Ortiz.''

He smoothed back her strawberry scented hair and said softly-

''I wouldnt really know how to be anyone else Teller.''

Juice didnt know any details about what or who had sent her over the edge back then but it had to be a guy. It pissed him off that some random prick could fuck with her like this. It took someone really fuck dumb or brave to screw with the princess of the mother charter.

Zoe rested her head on his shoulder enjoying the way that he stroked her hair and couldnt help herself-

''Careful Ortiz, you'll get me crazy turned on with all of this close contact TLC.''

From the open doorway Opie cringed-

''I dont even need to hear that shit.''

The two friends laughed at the big guy, who was like her second big brother-

''then quit eves dropping Ope.''

''Gladly princess,'' he called over his shoulder heading down the corridor back to work.

She knew that her time to escape was growing short, she had to avoid Happy, that meant either going home or back to her studio...home was her best bet. Quickly she got to her vintage Mustang, keys in hand only to be caught by her mother.

''Oh no you dont Zoe.''

She met that triumphant smile, damn that woman was fast even in four inch heels.

''Here take this.'' Gemma said handing Zoe the long grocery list- ''For the pre party food, once that's in the car, head to my place, you've got old lady duty.''

''Ma, I'm not an old lady, I'm a young _single _one.''

''Smart ass, either way you're helping. Then you're gonna go home put this painter-hippy look in the laundry hamper and dress like the true princess of Charming that you are.''

Zoe knew that this was not a request, so she saluted the Queen B-

''Yes ma'am.''

Gemma rolled her eyes- ''Less of that ma'am shit, I'm not that fucking old.''7

''because you're _not old _ma.'' she then began singing to her- ''_you the hottest bitch in this place.'' _a line from that annoying Robin Thicke song that was plaguing the air waves still.

''get your bony ass to the store and no bailing or I'm sending Tigger after you again.''

Zoe knew he'd cause a scene where ever he caught up with her, just to flat out embarrass her, the last time she'd hidden in the library after not many of the guys would venture in there. Apart from Tig of course who didnt give a shit what anyone thought of him, never mind some stuffy old library chicks. He'd crept up behind her and yelled-

_''No lady you can't blow me in the modern romance section!''_

Which had lead to the pair of them getting a two year ban from Charming Public Library.

''Ok ma I'll be the dutiful daughter for the day make the most of it.''

''Oh I will baby, I'll chain you to the stove.'' Gemma moved away from the car door hoping she'd stay true to her word.

The second Zoe was off the lot , she could hear the rumble of Harleys behind her. Checking the rear view mirror she saw a whole _fleet _of Sons! Koz,Hap and a few Tacoma guys? What a crock of shit! That was a full on rager in the making, fucking shit there'd be no escape in sight now. She hit Kelly Delaney's number on the speed dial of her cell sat in the hands free-

''Hey Zoe Ramone.'' Kelly's voice chimed from the speaker.

Zoe smiled at the old nickname-

''Hey Kell's Angel, are you on old lady duty too by any chance?''

''How ever did you guess?'' Kelly giggled- ''I'm heading over to Gemma Towers right now, my mom's already there cooking up a storm.''

''Well hang on to your Tupperware because I've got news- its Happy's pre patch in party we're fucking well catering for.''

''Fuck me hard!'' Kelly yelled in shock.

''Wow you really are your mothers daughter, no wonder you direct awesome porn.'' Zoe let out a stunned laugh at her friend.

''Hey!'' Kelly tried not to laugh- ''Focus here- Happy? As in Tacoma Killer? Man who's death we've been dreaming about for 6 years?''

''the very same one, he'll be here 24/7, here's hoping shit doesnt get stirred up with him again.''

Kelly gasped overly dramatically as usual- ''he wouldnt dare!''

''Wouldn't he?''

''No...'' Kelly wasnt so sure any more after all he was the guy who'd lead Zoe on, given her hope only to drop her on her face when it got too real.

The guy was a cold hearted killer, with no conscience when it came to his job for the club or about how he'd dealt with her best friends heart. She was way too good for him, he was a reputed man whore, his name was notorious for all the wrong reasons as far as she was concerned.

She wanted to see Zoe get together with Juice, they had wicked chemistry, they understood each other, damn their kids would be little stunners.

In the supermarket she ran into one of her favourite people in the whole town- Wayne Unser-

''Hey Zo.''

She couldnt believe her eyes- ''Jesus Wayne you looked great.'' she hugged the former police chief, unable to fully comprehend the changes in the man. Gone was the unshaven man who'd given up on himself and his entire world, here stood a man with his faith restored in both, including the Sons.

''Well thanks sweetheart, I guess you can thank my mystery benefactor. They've been an angel in my twilight years.'' he gave Zoe a knowing smirk, which she returned.

When she'd see Wayne getting left to his fate after he'd retired, thanks to Clay, while he lined his pockets, left in a trailer with no pension, no nothing, she knew she'd had to step in. This man had put everything on the line over his career and wound up with not a penny to show for it. So Zoe had thanked him by buying him a little house and making sure that the bills for his medications were taken care of too. Wayne now even had a job at the community centre hosting meetings for cancer survivors. People came from all over the county to attend his nights.

She preferred to keep her financial details private, the reality of her true wealth was a secret even from Juice, she'd made good investments, her expenses were small, so using her money for good things was her way of lightening the down side of the club to the people on the edge of it.

''Wayne you loyalty deserves so much recognition.''

He smiled as the sweet girl- ''Your dad would be so proud of you and Jackson.''

Her emotion filled eyes went down to her paint spattered feet in her flip flops- damn she'd missed those in the shower. Once the tears that had threatened had faded she met his eyes-

''I'd like to think dad was proud of me and Jax.''

Wayne knew she missed her dad something crazy, they'd been so close and he knew that JT saw his kids as the future of the club, not his chosen successor. Anyone not a Teller was just treading water, passing the time until a Teller took the gavel.

Zoe had been 10 when JT had died and in her heart of hearts, even at that age she'd never believed that it was an accident that had killed him. Her father _didnt _make mistakes with his bike, this suspicion had been silenced by Piney, he'd sworn her to secrecy but he'd been thinking the same thing she'd seen it in his own grief stricken eyes.

For 18 years she'd seen it in Clay's cold blue eyes what he was capable of, it killed her knowing that her mother was in love with the man that had cost them JT. She also knew that the man that Clay had become would have no problem taking her out if he heard so muc whisper of what she was thinking.

No, he wouldnt have done it personally, oh no, he'd have had her kidnapped, tortured, then dealt with. Or she'd have met with an accident in her car or while home alone.

Gemma was now free of the man she'd grown to hate, his patches had been stripped, his seat at the redwood had gone to Jax. It was all kept in house, outside charters had no clue to the treachery the former president was capable of, it would have torn the Sons of Anarchy apart nation wide.

So, for appearances only and for the deal with the Irish, Clay sat away from the table like all none riding members, he didnt get to vote either. Clay's hands were shot now, he could barely dress himself without the help of a home carer and Zoe took some sick pleasure in his crippled state- Karma was a vicious bitch when you got up in her face.

One wrong move from that bastard against the club and the Teller siblings had dibs on his _removal_ one way or another, to hell with the Irish and the Cartel. It was all about settling the score- for beating their mother, his hand in the death of Donna, Piney's murder, the plot against Ope, the attempt on Tara. Fuck there was so much to take payment for, the man had a very short life expectancy and the sand was rapidly running out of the hour glass.

When she got to her mom's Kelly and Luann were hard at work, Lyla was at the butchers getting the barbecue meat and the paper plates- by far the easiest job as she wasnt much of a cook, but she tried that was the sweetest thing.

''Hey Delaney's''

Zoe called entering with her first two heavy grocery bags, setting them down on one of the free kitchen counter tops.

Kelly and Lu smiled at the sight-

''Hey Zo.''

Kelly looked so cute today, her long dark blonde hair back in a French braid, looking a knock out in just a white tank top and a denim mini skirt and flat sandals, Zoe couldnt help but wish she looked that cute while in a red hot kitchen.

''Zo I'll help you with the bags, something tells me Queen B gave you the big list.''

''Thanks and how did you guess?'' the youngest Teller smirked appreciatively.

Down at the car Kelly scooped up two bags from the trunk and looked at her friend-

''So, he's Samcro now huh?''

''Yep, how did I miss that fucking vote?''

''It was kept hush hush, but you were too busy to even notice it going down.''

''Sorry, work shit.'' Zoe replied feeling guilty.

''Hey, dont feel bad, we all know your job is your number one, the club has to learn to ride shot gun with it. Dont ever feel bad for having a career outside of the club, I certainly dont.''

''Thanks Kell, but _him _of all people.'' she sighed hefting the bags higher on her hip.

''You can't let him run you off, you're not 22 any more and you're more entitled to be here than he is, fuck what he thinks.''

Zoe got her head in the right place, Kelly was right who was he to make her head do all of these self doubting bullshit?

''I'm not running, I wouldnt gibe the Killer the satisfaction...hold up just had a weird thought- if he used to the _Tacoma _Killer, is he now the _Charming Killer?''_

Kelly saw her friends humour sparking-

''Well that has a porno- thriller written all over a title like that, we could write a spoof character of Happy.''

Zoe let out a big rich laugh- ''Hell yeah we could, we could call him- 'Smiley- The Charming Thriller'.''

They headed up to the house goofing off about their idea. When they got back to the kitchen Kelly called to her mother-

''Ma, Zoe has just had a great idea for a biker based porno spoof, move over blue chicks of '_Avatart',_this had the Golden Wang awards written all over it.''

Laughter filled the Teller house, just like it was always supposed to be.

**AN: I hope you liked meeting Zoe Teller and taking a few steps into her world, well stay tuned because next chapter we meet Happy and get the ball rolling on the plot, drop me a review with any idea, feedback anything as this is my first SOA story, cheers my dears :) xx**

**R&R.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: thank you everyone who read, reviewed and added me to their favourite lists, also a HUGE shout out to Gabby and Erika who are still reading my stories after all this time- thanks ladies ;) long live #NEROTIME gone but not forgotten ;)**

**also I have to thank my big sis for finding the picture I'm using for the front cover of this story, damn David LaBrava is HOOOOTTT!**

**hope you like the latest.**

**R&R**

**I only own my ocs**

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 2

(Juice)

_This life is a tight rope walk, you gotta keep your eyes on your destination, keep focused and dont look down. Cause is place of where your safety net is supposed to be you've got every law enforcement agency in the land. They're just waiting for you to fall, because that's when they catch you for real._

_The trick that I've learned is to keep going no matter what you're up against, because even when it all feels and looks like its going to hell, the only person that can trip you up is yourself. Tight rope, line of dominoes, house of cards, whatever metaphor you choose, its all the same, the family, the club stands together and falls together._

_It just takes real strength to get back on your feet, to be the first to hold out their hands to another brother, that way you're in it for both good and bad. Blood family or ink family, you all stand together its all the same, its all survival._

Gemma entered her home hearing laughter coming from the kitchen, smelling Zoe's chocolate cake and the mouth watering scent of Luann's famous shredded beef casserole, that the guys lived off.

''So you're telling me for real that you never went back for seconds?'' Lu asked her disbelief clear as day.

Gemma dropped her bag on to the dining table and slipped off her high heels- an act only ever done when the girls were alone cooking, she headed to the kitchen listening to the girl talk.

''No it was a one night thing years ago.'' Zoe replied slicing the fresh strawberries for the top of her home made cheesecake.

''How do you live with that guy and not jump his bones every night I'll never know.'' Lu wasnt having any of the girls story.

Gemma entered- ''I called bullshit on that story years ago too.''

''Oh thanks ma.'' Zoe landed a kiss on her mothers cheek- ''Glad for the solidarity.''

''Come on can you blame us? You live with a little fox and what did you say once? Hmm I do believe it was- _he has a cock so beautiful I wanna cast it in bronze.'' _Kelly teased throwing her drunken words back at her.

The brunette groaned shaking her head- ''_That _right there is the reason I no longer drink any of your crazy home brew, its like fucking truth serum.'' a playful glare thrown at Kelly.

''Well you did say that he was the best lay you'd ever had.'' Gemma said checking on her slow roasting pork in the other side of her huge stove.

''I was 22, what the hell did I know?''

''Who stole the top spot?!'' Lu and Kelly asked very eagerly, god they looked so alike at times.

Zoe thought about how to answer that question and not have it sounding _really _bad-

''There's been one or two close calls but..._fine _Juice still has top billing.''

The mother daughter duo grinned.

''You two would be the hottest couple on camera. Fuck that would Jenna Jamieson sales right there.'' the queen of porn nodded stirring her pot thoughtfully.

''I'm not fucking on camera, Lu no can do.''

Gemma gave her daughter an approving look- ''Good thing too.'' she looked to her friend- ''She's a s secretive about her sex life as she is about everything else. Excluding the boning of the retard of course.''

''Please dont call him that ma.'' Zoe got very protective of Juice, yes he could be a bit dumb about some things, but in a lot of ways he was the smartest guy she'd ever met.

Gemma pouted playfully- ''Sorry baby.''

''It's ok just remember he's my friend, he means a lot to me and to the club. He's earned his patches and his seat at that table.''

Gemma looked at her daughter, the two friends had guided each other through some bad shit over the past decade, club and personal-

''you'll be a great old lady some day soon.''

''Yeah, but I've never been ready nor have I been asked.'' Zoe said laying the strawberries neatly around the cheesecakes surface.

''Time to get ready for that because you aint getting any younger.'' she smirked playfully.

Zoe laughed- ''I know but my tits still look fucking great.''

At the clubhouse the guys were all settling in with beers, playing pool, shooting the breeze, making Tacoma and the Nomads feel welcome.

Tig quietly asked Happy as they sat in the corner of the room-

''How's your ma doing these days?''

''Real good, got her in a great place in Bakersfield, made a world of difference.'' He replied sipping the last of his beer.

Tig patted his back- ''Great news bro.''

It was no secret that Hap went Nomad to be closer to his ill mother, so now moving to Charming was the next logical step. He wanted to make the move and make the most of the remaining years that he did have with her. He owed that woman a lot, he'd put her through hell over the course of his life and since his aunt had passed away he didnt want her to be alone too often.

''you dont mind crashing in Jax's old dorm until Gem gets your house ready?'' Tig asked him as a croweater brought over fresh beers without a word, just a big smile and lots of cleavage.

Hap's dark eyes swept over the bleach blonde, her hair looked brittle, her skin had seen far too many sun beds to have any remains of a healthy glow, he'd take a pass on this one, his eyes slid back to Tig-

''A beds a bed, as long as its clean.''

Jax grabbed the empty seat at the table with them-

''Its clean, Phil's a Gemma trained one man cleaning crew. Handy to have around after shits gone down. Between you and me he can make any size blood bath vanish.''

Happy cocked a brow at the frankly huge prospect, who was close to patching in- that guy could be very useful to the club if he was handy at doing that kind of work. It was a necessity after his own kind of skills had been put to use.

''Good I aint above wasting sloppy prospects.'' he growled eye balling the guy, staring him right down until he though Phil was going to puke on the croweater with her bottles of beer.

Happy was a scary bastard, but he still had a sense of humour, a dark, dry one and scaring the prospects was always a good way to pass the time between the day to day club life. But the stuff that really made his blood sing was utilizing his _special skills, _he could torture anything out of anyone, he got very creative too, had all kinds of toys to make it all the more interesting for himself.

Phil didnt know how to take Happy, he still had so much to learn. Jax had to smother laughter as the prospect beat a hasty retreat to double check the dorm room Happy would be using, just to save himself a beating.

''Ma and Tara have given the new place a going over, new bed, couch, TV and shower, no girlie shit.'' Jax promised.

Hap nodded lighting a cigarette- ''Appreciate it.''

''Nah all the girlie shit is over at Juice's place with his old lady.''Tig teased the intel guy, seeing him turn to take the bate- ''Juice and lady Juice are just over the road from you Hap.''

''Tig she's _not _my old lady and you know it.''

Jax cocked a brow- ''What? She not good enough for you now?''

Juice sighed- ''Not what I said.''

Hap listened, what the fuck was going on? Who was Juice living with? And why did the club even give a fuck?

Chibs sat beside Juice on the old leather couch, knowing just how to wind the guy up-

''Well you are always huggin' the lass.''

''So what?''

''just sayin' that's all,'' Chibs smirked knocking back his beer, seeing the younger guy getting more impatient as the time wore on.

Tig had to step in- ''So what? You live with your pres's sister, who is like my niece, fuck it she's like my own kid.''

Happy didnt react- so Juice lived with Zoe? What the hell was going on in this town? He'd been wondering when Princess Crow would come up, guess that time was now.

''We're just friends, no sex, no ink, no nothing.'' he wanted this line of question to end- ''Zoe's not even sure if she ever wants to be an old lady, says all us club guys are pussy rats.''

The room broke into laughter and Koz said-

''She's too smart for any of our tricks, she'd kick her old man's ass for just _looking _guilty of something.''

Tig had to agree there- ''Chibs taught her to box for a reason- _look but do not touch.''_

''she's our very own million dollar baby.'' Chibs raised his beer to her- ''knocked Rat Boy right on his arse a few weeks ago.''

The second prospect behind the bar with his crazy waxed moustache nodded in Koz's direction still embarrassed. Koz leaned on the bar and shook his head very amused by this news-

''Rule one- never step into the ring with Zo, she'll clean you out and Rule two- _never _be fooled by that sweet smile, she'll break you neck.''

Happy listened to the club banter, was this the same girl he'd met while he was a Nomad all those years ago? That blushing, too sweet, child with the body of a woman? It'd be interesting to see how she'd grown up. Could he still make her blush like a beet with just one look? Make her a dewy eyed wreck with the simplest of flirtations? This was going to be one hell of a transfer if she'd blossomed fully, because even at 22 she'd looked too much of an innocent virginal girl.

The girls got everything loaded into the cars in foil trays and Tupperware containers and for some reason Gemma has given Zoe a free pass to skip the late lunch-

''why do I get to duck out of this?''

''because you've got an appointment at the salon and then the beautician.'' she handed Zoe her appointment cards.

''Oh.'' she said, wondering if she really looked _that _bad.

Before she could ask her mom had kissed her cheek and gotten into her car, heading out behind the other cars to the clubhouse. That was the down side to having a super hot mother, who was the Queen B- being immaculate was _expected. _But Zoe was a bit of a tom boy at heart, she loved getting dirty, wearing jeans and Converse, band shirts and chipped nail polish were her staple. Maybe she just wasnt cut out to be the glamorous club princess after all.

Before she went to her appointments she went home for her second shower of that day to scrub the paint off her feet, it wouldnt look good to show up looking like a grubby grunge throw back, even though that was exactly what she was.

The hair dresser did wonders with her long chocolate brown waves, it was trimmed, layered and straightened, to a glossy waterfall, she didnt know her hair could look so good. The beautician gave her a facial, did her finger and toe nails in French tips, which she wasnt too sure about. They looked like she'd painted her nails in Tipex, like the girls used to do in high school when they were bored.

Getting her make up done by someone else was a new experience, she generally just used mascara and some liquid liner for Cleopatra flicks and plucked her brows to keep them tidy. But the salon girls did her Cleopatra eyes with the addition of some subtle grey shadow around her sockets and some grey liner under her lower lashes. These girls were very talented because when Zoe looked in the mirror at the finished product she didnt recognise herself, who was this striking polished girl looking back?

Goodbye free spirited artist, she thought to herself. Was this how she was supposed to look 24/7? who had the fucking time? Her job wasnt some amusement to fill in the gaps between club parties, she'd never be able to keep this up.

Heading home she wondered what the hell to wear, fuck it she could look hot without looking like a porn star or a croweater. She got into her bedroom, cranked up Pantera '_This Love' _opened her walk in closet and ignored her jeans that were any where on the looser side and then she found the item she was looking for, her skin tight dulled black leather pants, with the lace up fly. These hadnt been worn since her UCLA days- well not any more!

Next for the top...hmm..oh yes- her tight black waist coat with the black lace back, all she'd need was a push up bra and her 34DD's would look awesome. Wearing this would show off her all of her ink on the back of her shoulder and all down her back to her hips, an array of flowers, butterflies and personal little touches. She picked out her favourite knee boots, the black leather ones with the little tiny straps and dainty buckles.

If this party required a showy outfit, she'd deliver it this time and if she could look as hot as she possibly could it'd really rub it in Happy's face. He deserved to see all of what he'd rejected and if he was a dick to her- well fuck his reputation- she'd give him the verbal beat down of a life time that he'd never forget.

Chances were he'd probably slap the shit out of her for it, but she'd go down swinging, that was for damn sure.

Gemma had been at the patch in party for over an hour and she was working the room greeting all of their guests with Tara, congratulating Happy and welcoming him to his new home with Samcro. He was in his new cut, giving her the merest hint of a thankful smile-

''Thanks for everything Gem.''

''No problem baby, glad you're finally here to stay.'' she patted his chest and headed off leaving him to all of the tarts who would be literally fighting for his attention in a few drinks time.

No sooner had Gemma turned around to see how everyone was doing, then in walked Zoe looking so fucking hot. Guys were doing visible double takes of her, there stood a princess, looking strong, groomed and confident, walking tall like she hadnt a care in the world, crow eaters showing total respect by stepping out of her path. Damn her baby girl had a fierce body, tits no surgeon could give you for any money on earth, legs for miles and an ass guys were salivating over. Why didnt she show this all off more often instead of hiding it in paint covered grunge wear?

Zoe went to the bar herself hating to be waited on by the bimbos, she got her usual gin and tonic from Rat and went to the table where her girls always sat- Kelly, Lyla, Tara, Luann and her ma, who were all giving her approving looks.

Before she could do anything but put her drink down she was swept up into a hug by two very nice toned inked arms, it took her a moment to figure out who it was-

''Hey Koz, anyone would think you'd been missing me.''

''You know I always do sweetheart.'' he set her down keeping his hands on her waist- ''You get cuter every time I come back here.''

''Hey eyes are up here blondie.'' she tipped his chin up, so his eyes met hers and they were sparkling with pure drunken mischief.

''Sorry but they are pretty distracting, when did you get those?''

''when I was about 13, but thankfully you didnt notice you perv.''

''Phew.'' he winked- ''Jail bait territory back then.''

''Exactly, now unhand me and go find your night time play thing.''

''Honey with words like that how can I say no?'' he dropped a kiss on her cheek and smacked her leather clad ass- ''Catch you later, there's a red head over there with my name written all over her. I'll report back in the a.m if she's a natural or not.''

''Gross Koz.'' she laughed sending him on his way with his cheeky school boy smile on his face and a spring in his step.

She finally got to sit down with her girls and Luann said-

''God damn Tig for sending that hunk of blonde, buff fun all the way to Washington.''

Lyla nearly choked on her candy pink drink- ''Lu we need to find out how flexible that prison clause is, because your libido is getting dangerous.''

''I'm a woman on the edge, there's only so much you can do with rubber and batteries.''

Zoe put her arm around her aunt figure and said-

''If only real male gigolos looked like Richard Gere.''

Across the table Kelly wasnt hearing much of the conversation because she'd been observing Happy from the second Zoe had entered. Since then Happy hadnt hadnt given the two blondes at his sides a second of his attention, the second he'd recognised their girl she'd seen his face change. He might be hard to read with his hard blank face, but he had tells like any poker player. Why else did she always beat the guys at poker?! His black eyes were locked on Zoe and he was tracking her every movement, oh yeah she still held some odd interest for the Killer.

Happy wasnt paying attention to the girls who were vying for his attention over the music and conversations going on, not that they dared to complain, not to a guy of _his _reputation, at _his _patch in party. Realising that the hot bitch in black was Zoe Teller was a shock and he didnt like surprises in any form, especially not ones who looked that good in black leather.

Just when Zoe was starting to relax, she felt eyes boring into her, she was painfully aware of it, just like every time in the past, his gaze was like being physically touched by him. Should she ignore him? Look at him then look away? Temptation was gnawing at her, maybe the feeling was just paranoia? Nothing ventured right?

She got her courage up and looked right at him, yep he was exactly where she'd sensed him. Her eyes met his and god damn it, he was every bit as strikingly handsome as when they'd first met. He was showing slight signs of grey on his minuscule hair regrowth, he had a few more lines around his eyes and mouth, but they took nothing away from his looks at all. The man had so much natural presence and magnetism, that he'd always draw you in and terrify you all at once. That didnt fade with age it only grew. Bastard!

It was that soft, so full looking lower lip, that had always enticed her but now she didnt want to kiss it, no she wanted to _bite it..._as he nails raked across that snake tattoo that ran across his scalp. She gave him a challenging ghost of a smirk, then let her eyes slide away from him as Tara engaged her in conversation.

Happy drew deeply on his cigarette as he took in what had just gone down, he heard a Nomad inquire to Juice-

''Is Zoe Teller your old lady?''

''No, just friends.'' replied the intel guy rolling his eyes bored to death of this shit now.

But Juice spotted the Nomads smile and wondered if he needed to stop the guy from putting the moves on her. Thankfully Tig did all the stepping in needed, slapping a hand on the guys shoulder and shaking his head-

''Don't even think about acting on that impulse kid, she'll wipe the floor with you and laugh her ass off as she does it.''

Once the Nomad was occupied with Emily Duncan, the croweater who'd been there longer than Juice had, he thanked Tig.

Tig laughed at his former prospect-

''Juicy you are so fucking pussy whipped.''

''And you aint even tapping her.'' Happy added his rough voice harsh even to his own ears.

The young mohawked guy grew instantly defensive-

''She deserves better than some guy who's gonna pull and fuck and flee on her that's all.'' he shrugged, then saw Hap's soulless black eyes go to his best friend, raking over her whole body unashamedly.

That look made Juices insides do a sickening lurch, no not a guy like _Happy, _Zoe needed someone loving and warm not _this _guy!

Nobody commented on Clay's absence from the party and Gemma could actually breathe a sigh of relief, she didnt have to face another round of his glares and comments, he'd use any tactic to get her to respond to him- flowers one minute and threats and bullshit the next. But, the man who'd nearly destroyed all of their lives was never getting back inside and he certainly wasnt going to use her to undermine Jax's presidency.

Zoe knew her duty, she had to do the rounds as the Samcro Princess, which meant facing the man of honour too. By this point in the night she'd had a couple of drinks, enough to relax her, not enough to be drunk, she never got sloppy at parties, _that _was undignified slut territory.

Juice was growing more and more uncomfortable as the night wore on, Hap's eyes were tracking Zoe like she was prey as she worked the room like only Gemma and her could do. Hap didnt do shit like _this, _the guy ran through blondes like a demon, she wasnt his type at all. Ok she could sleep with who ever she wanted...so why did he care so much about keeping one guy from her?

Fuck it, he couldnt watch this any longer, he got up and headed to the bar, fuck beer he needed something a lot stronger.

When he got to the bar Chibs saw his stony face and said in his ear-

''She's _not _your old lady remember, so dont do this to yourself son.''

''Jesus whats with everyone today?! I've been getting this shit for 12 hours straight now!'' he grabbed the bottle of vodka from the prospect and took off out of the main door.

Zoe watched him go, what was wrong with him? She knew to give him some time to calm down before going to check on him, so she carried on doing her lap of the clubhouse. Then she came to Tig and Happy by the wall near the chapel doors.

''Hey sweetheart.'' Tig hugged her, pecking her cheek- ''Looking really great.''

''thanks Tigger, not looking bad yourself.'' she noticed he'd really put some effort in, his usually wild hair was _almost _tamed.

''All for the bitches.'' he grinned liking that he could make her laugh still.

'' well I'd expect nothing less from you Trager.'' her eyes slid to Happy who was smoking heavily, his blondes still on point duty as his sides- ''welcome to Samcro Killer.''

He nodded to her not saying a word.

Fuck, as chatty as ever, yet he never looked away from her.

''At least tell me that you're having a good time, give me something to work with here.'' she couldnt help but smile, teasing him had always gotten a reaction in the past. His eyes narrowed slightly- BINGO!

''Nobody throws down like Charming.''

_God that voice! _ It was like sin for the ears, she could feel her treacherous body already reacting, god damn her hormones.

''Best patch in parties in the states.'' she agreed.

Silence. Fuck she had to get out of here this was messing with her sex drive too much, so she turned to him and gave him one last smirk-

''Hap it was nice _almost _chatting with you and Tigger- always a pleasure.''

With that she headed outside into the fresh air, scanning the lot for Juice she came up blank, he wasnt anywhere in sight. There were dozens of people crowded around the ring as Opie took on Lorca from Tacoma. It was any ones guess who'd win they were both huge guys.

Lyla and Kelly were cheering on Ope form their spot on top of the picnic tables, she waved over to her girls before grabbing a bottle of water from Phil and went over to the swings to grab a few minutes alone to chill out from her encounter 6 years in the making with Happy. How she'd pulled that off she'd never know but to hell with it, the first meeting was out of the way...only the rest of their lives to go.

She was sipping her water and feeling her adrenaline subside when she saw Juice heading across the lot, vodka in hand, not looking drunk at all-

''You bringing the party to me?'' she smiled.

He stood in front of her, setting the bottle on the ground carefully, straightening up, not speaking, going to stand behind her.

She knew what was coming so she pitched her empty water bottle into the nearest trash can and held onto the chain handles of the swings as he began to gently push her. They did this when one of them needed to do some really heavy duty sharing.

He let her gently move to and fro, as if they were alone out there not 100 feet from a bloody boxing match and people probably fucking in every dark shadowed corner of the compound. After ten minutes of odd silent tension, he held the chains and stilled her movements and circling around to face her.

She looked up at his uniquely handsome face catching in the moonlight, his big brown eyes looking unfathomable to her as they searched her face, his mind obviously going 100 miles an hour, she lay her hands on his wrists-

''What's got you all chewed up Ortiz?''

He felt like a fucking idiot, even trying to voice his concerns for her, she was a grown woman now, one who'd travelled the world on her own and probably seen things he'd never even dreamed existed.

''Zoe you need to be careful around here now.''

Frowning she stood resting her hands on his broad shoulders-

''why what's going on? Is the club in some kind of trouble?''

''No not in that way..but I've seen the way that _he _watched you tonight.''

She didnt dare assume he was talking about Happy because she could let slip something and then find out they were talking at cross purposes-

''Who?''

He looked at her, feeling like a god damn fool as he heard the name tumble out of his mouth- ''Happy''

Jesus he'd seen it too!

''He tracked you like he was on the fucking hunt Zo.'' he cupped her cheek in one palm easily- ''It...I didnt like a guy like him doing that, he'd got rep with girls.''

''I know but dont worry, he doesnt want me like you're imagining.''

They were oblivious to the crowd coming outside to see happy getting brought out to the ring, it was club tradition that the patch in had to fight, he was going up against a Nomad called Kian, they were matched equally in height, weight and skill so it was going to be interesting.

Juice shook his head at her words, he'd seen Hap look at girls who fit his criteria just like he'd looked at Zoe and it couldnt be confused with anything else and it stirred up nauseous irrational feeling within him-

''You deserve better than someone who...who'll be cold and cruel to you.''

She leaned her cheek into his warm palm, liking how protective he was of her-

''Think I'm safe Ortiz, guys are hardly beating down our door to get to me.''

''Don't joke, you deserve someone who'll love only you and for who you are too, not for who's sister or daughter you are, but because you're...you're-'' he paused thinking of what to say.

Zoe felt so surprised by his lovely words, she couldnt help but battle the tears, nobody had ever said anything like this to her before. She rested her forehead against his, loving that her heels made them the same size.

He didnt know what took a hold of him in that moment but the urge just seized him, their proximity just made it all too easy. He fractionally moved his head and softly kissed her.

She closed her eyes, its been so long since she'd been kissed by someone, felt their breath on her lips, tasted someone's lips, felt their tongue asking for surrender.

Across the lot as Happy saw the pair in the moonlight, he stepped into the ring. His _Killer _didnt like that sight, someone wasnt being honest, friends? Bullshit! Oh this fight was going to get brutal now. So Juice was gonna try and get the princess was he? That boy was punching way above his weight with dangerous ideas like that.

Gemma, Luann, Kelly and Tara were all sat at the picnic tables stunned watching the pair. This night had been full of craziness, not only had Tig taken _five _croweaters back to his dorm- a record even for him. Koz had even found the last natural red head left in Charming. Now Juice and Zoe were _kissing! _This was turning into quite the patch in party.

The kiss was over before she knew it and he was backing off looking panicked, her heart was thudding in her chest-

''Juan?'' she whispered wanting him to look at her,

''Shit, I'm..I'm sorry, I dont know what I was thinking, sorry.''

When he bolted for the clubhouse she felt that old sting of rejection, like a bitter echo of the past. She shakily snatched up the vodka bottle he'd left behind and took tow long pulls from it. Breathing deeply she let it burn a path to her stomach. Why the fuck did seeing him look so remorseful hurt so much?

She was pulled from her pit of questions by the bell sounding from the ring, she looked and saw Hap's arm raised in victory by Chibs and how Hap hugged it out with the beaten Nomad. Fuck he looked just as stunning as he had all those years ago, even sweat slicked and bloody, his tight inked body was just as lethal and beautiful.

Zoe wasnt sure if it was the rejection from Juice or the vodka, but she was walking to the ring filled with purpose, bottle in hand. The croweaters knew to get the hell out of her way, she grabbed the towel from one of his waiting blondes and looked him dead in the eyes as he stepped out from between the ropes and jumped down . She handed him the towel first, then the bottle, which he took without saying a word.

She picked up his cut and his other belongings from between Jax and a freshly patched up Lorca and faced Happy again and said-

''Lets get you cleaned up Killer.''

Happy knew something had gotten screwed the fuck up wit Juice during his fight, that kiss was clearly to blame, hmm time to do a little digging into the Princess Crows head. Taking another pull from the vodka, he threw the sweat soaked bloody towel over his sore shoulder and followed her leather clad ass into the clubhouse, leaving a confused and shocked club behind them.

**AN: wow the response to chapter one has been AMAZING thank you all so so much for that ;) so things are taking shape now stay tuned for the antics inside the dorm room and the fall out from _that kiss. _Drop me a review and let me know what you think**

**cheers my dears**

**R&R ;)**

**xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: hi there thank you all so much for the reviews and for adding me to your favourite list as this is my first SOA fic I still feel like I'm learning as I go :) so lest get chapter 3 on the road shall we.**

**R&R**

**I only own my ocs **

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 3

(Happy)

_My_ _ink as much a part of me as my finger prints and my blood family are. They tell a story that only I know, they are tokens of survival, souvenirs of victory and in one case- a promise. The promise says- 'I live, I die, I kill for my family.' my blood family, the club and everyone who's club family, no exceptions._

Zoe had no fucking clue how this would pan out, she hadnt really thought that far ahead. To her shock he was actually following her, she'd half expected him to brush her off. Its not like that'd be virgin territory for either of them.

Juice was sat in his nerd corner, his desk cleared off for the party, but it was still almost his comfort zone. He swigged from the bottle of tequila and froze in his seat, when through the haze of the cigarette smoke he saw Zoe leading shirtless Hap to the dorm rooms. What the fuck?!

His booze soaked guts churned, but he refused to go looking for answers, not after the ass he'd made of himself already. What the fuck was wrong with him? He'd just taken a hatchet to their pretty much perfect friendship. Yet seeing her with Happy made something deeply buried rise up- protective? Possessive? Who knew what the truth was? But what he did know was this- Happy wasnt going to be good for Zoe at all.

Happy went to the dorm room that had been Jax's following behind her, she lay his shirt and his cut on the bed carefully, showing the leather full respect, never saying a word, just going straight to the bathroom. He was fighting hard to get his adrenaline fuelled Killer under better control. He pulled the chair from the desk and sat listening to her in the bathroom gathering the first aid supplies. As he closed his eyes and steadied his breathing making sure he calmed down, he realised he wasnt sure why he was letting her do this, he was more than capable of doing this personally.

Swigging from the bottle of vodka, he watched her come back out, not even a hint of nerves when his Killer side had been right there behind her. She'd obviously changed over that past few years, she was every inch the woman he knew she'd eventually turn into. She was no longer hiding behind that tom boy image she'd carved out, with her loose clothes, no more little girl lost persona. The new Zoe was something better to see.

She didnt know how she was keeping so calm, maybe it was the silence that surrounded him? But she was steady as a rock as she wet the cotton wool with the antiseptic and turned to him, not meeting those black eyes of his. She raised her hand sweeping the cotton over the cut to his cheek, it was shallow and he never so much as flickered an eye lid.

Fuck his skin was beautiful, yes he was lined from years on the road, but apart from that he was flawless. She worked deftly not touching him anywhere else but where he was bleeding, never making eye contact or speaking.

Once she was done she gathered up the used cotton and dropped it into the trash by the bed and sighed, hearing him unwrap his hands-

''Those need doing too?''

''Ah, so she does speak.'' he said roughly,barely above a whisper.

She kept the physical reaction to his voice buried deep within, willing the goose bumps to die down, finally meeting his eyes and gave him a soft smile as her insides nearly made an quick escape out of her mouth-

''Figured you were big on conversation a long time ago.''

He saw her green eyes go to his scraped hands, they were fine- ''Hands are good. Why you in here? To get at your little boyfriend?''

She heard his accusing tone but his face remained blank-

''He's _not _my boyfriend and I'm not the type to go for playing adolescent games, who had the fucking time? And to answer your question- I dont actually know why I'm in here. Maybe I just wanted to see if you'd let me.'' she shrugged feeling there was no reason to hide anything from him.

''Now that you've seen, you can go, consider your princess duty done.'' Happy saw that his lack of gratitude didnt seem to rile her as he'd hoped it would, he wanted to see her livid, lit up with pure rage, but she just let out a rich kinda sexy laugh which he didnt know how to take at all.

''Typical guy.'' she sighed heading back to the bathroom to replace the first aid supplies, wondering why he had even bothered to let her help him, clearly it didnt matter to him either way.

Exiting the bathroom, she headed for the door, pausing she looked at him and felt that tremor of attraction run right through her whole body and said-

''See it doesnt hurt does it?''

He frowned- ''What doesnt?''

''Holding a semi civilized conversation with me.''

She gave him a huge smile before leaving him alone with the vodka bottle and more questions than ever. The main one being- _who the fuck was this confident girl? _With her killer body and smile that could make a lesser guy rock hard in an instant. This surely wasnt the same person he could remember!

Colour him intrigued.

Zoe barely had time to process the events of the last 30 minutes of her life as she tried to rejoin the party because one arm was seized by her mom and the other by Luann and they were guiding her out of the main door of the clubhouse and out to the auto shop office.

''What the hell is going on ladies?''

They flipped on the lights and shut the door behind them, simply indicating for her to take a seat on the couch. Lu got the bottle of scotch that was hidden in the back of the desk draw and three glasses and started pouring.

Gemma rolled the desk chair over and sat looking at her smoking hot daughter and said-

''Baby girl we all saw you an Juice.''

Lu handed them their glasses and perched on the edge of the desk- ''And then Happy.''

''Is this an intervention?'' Zoe cocked one perfectly arched brow in amused shock.

''No its more of a head up about Juice. That boy is still all messed up no matter how 'ok' he acts, he probably doesnt even realise _why _but its clear as day.'' Gemma said lighting a cigarette watching her usually whip smart daughter remain confused. The knowledge of Juice's feelings would ruin their friendship and the pair needed each other more than they needed the truth- ''Baby just remember its gonna be hard for him to learn to share.''

Lu nodded- ''He's had your undivided attention for years now, he's never had to share your..._friendship _with anyone else.''

Gemma was surprised at the porn queens gentle handling of this situation-

''Exactly, so seeing you taking care of our Killer- of all people, is gonna take some getting used to for him.'' she sat back sipping her drink assessing her girl- ''Did he talk to you?''

''Happy? Yeah a bit but the guys hardly a chatter box ma.''

''Just be very careful with that one baby, he's got a lot going on under that silence and he's all about the club, you wont get many compromises there.''

Zoe knew what her mom was saying- _The Rules- _the ones that stated cheating was ok for the guys when they were on a run, just dont bring it home aka- _what happens on a run stays on a run! _

''I'm not looking to be anyone's old lady, my job isnt something I can just put on the back burner while my fictional old man gets to live his life or _serve his time. _I'll stand by the club till the day I die but I'm not out to snare myself a guy here.''

Lu was proud of her mile wide independent streak-

''You're a smart girl, if you do find a son who thinks like you do, you'll find that you wont have to give up anything, like me and Otto.''

Zoe saw the look of true love and admiration on her face as the thought about her old man in Stockton on a life sentence now. Their relationship was as strong as ever despite his incarceration, that took real love, guts and determination.

Gemma patted her girls leather clad knee and said-

''If you find a guy amongst that remember one thing- a true lady of the club never stirs up shit between two brothers, intentional or other wise.''

''Old lady 101?'' Zoe inquired.

''Something like that.'' Gemma matched Zoe's smirk knowing that if a dick swinging contest was unleashed with Juice and Happy, its be fucking insane around there.

''Ma, I've never caused trouble between members of the club and I'd like to keep it that way.''

Lu and Gemma were wise women of the club now, they'd seen the way Juice had physically handled Zoe during that brief kiss- like she was fragile glass that'd break if touched too roughly. They had also seen the way Happy had looked at her when she'd handed him that towel and the vodka- like he was either gonna fuck her or tear the place apart or_ both._

For a guy who's schooled his features into an impressively blank canvas for the job he did for the club, they'd both read him like an open book, with large bold print.

''Baby, stuff just gets beyond your control when it comes to guys in the club. You can have the best intentions, but life takes over, believe me and you just have to make the best of where it takes you to.'' Gemma said knowingly.

Out in the lot, Happy was sat on the picnic tables smoking a joint, a blonde in his lap, kissing her every now and then, knowing that he could take her right then and there out in the open if he wanted, but he held back for now. Out the corner of his eye, he was waiting for Zoe to come out of the office. He'd heard Tara saying to Kelly Delaney that the two old ladies had taken her in there.

Hap had had to get out of the club house, the sight of Juice eye balling him had made his Killer twitchy all over again and when that side of his got out it would get ugly and bloody and be over far too quickly, Juice wouldnt stand a chance.

He had very strict rules about never getting drunk to the point where he lost control when he was pissed off, because his dark side, his Killer- became unmanageable.

He knew his limits, he knew when to quit the drinking and separate from the group and retire to his room with a girl, a few joints and fuck it back into submission. Now was one of those times, because killing a brother was never a good thing.

Happy saw the office door open and he looked over the blondes tanned shoulder as she kissed down his neck, there was no mistaking Zoe's lithe body and confident walk as she headed off. Where was she going? Then it came back to him- _her studio. _Did she crash there after club shit? No escaping her now- stayed at the club, worked on the premises and was his neighbour, he was fucking surrounded. He grabbed hold of the blondes hair not too gently and kissed her with equal force.

Zoe locked the studio door after herself and slid the bolts into place, she didnt want any drunken out of towners getting any ideas and risks were something she preferred not to take. This had been one crazy night- Juice had laid the lips on her and she'd _kissed him back. _Happy had _let _her patch him up, a task usually reserved for the girl who was going to be the victors nightly fuck, yet he'd turned out to be a shocker- he'd been civilized to her.

Fuck only knew how she'd handle the morning, because Juice had totally bailed on her after that kiss, that had to be dealt with some how. Why had that one kiss been more awkward for him than after they'd had sex 6 years ago? That night of passion had been _amazing_, they'd done things she'd remember for a life time, positions she'd never dreamed of had come naturally. No guy had ever paid so much attention to her body. And Juice's body- holy fuck was it something to see! Every inch of him was tones perfection, he took great care of himself and it showed.

But, the morning after it hadnt felt weird at all, it was just like the sexual tension between them in their friendship had been released and all was right with them once again. Yet her head was telling her that this one kiss could finally be the stumbling block for them. And no way was she fucking him again to resolve the tension, that couldnt be the solution to every issue that they had thrown their way, that'd get far too messy. God forbid she got accidentally pregnant by him. She didnt fancy explaining that one to the club, what would she say-

_''Sorry guys but it was stress relief gone a-rye, oopsies.''_? Not a chance!

Then again there was Happy to factor in too, she still felt dangerously attracted to him. First love didnt just vanish because they'd hurt you, but she'd seen him across the lot with his blonde, she'd felt him watching her too. That guy was always going to be a factor, be it positive or negative, there was just no denying it.

Laid on her chez, her make up washed off, wearing an old Samcro shirt and black leggings, she settled in for the night, having no idea if sleep would come to her or not.

Gemma hated this part of the night, after driving home alone, going into her _empty _house, her hand always on the gun she kept on her, she was never without it these days, she set the complex alarm system that Juice had insisted on installing for her. Even the sounds of ruffling feathers from her bird didnt bring her comfort these days. She simply didnt know what to do to fill the silences, she had all of this empty space and it scared the shit out of her.

It wasnt in her nature to go begging for company, but she'd found herself on several occasions with her heart racing dangerously, her forehead beading with sweat, ears ringing, eyes useless seeing only flashing lights, shaking like a fucking junky. It's spooked her because of her heart condition, the last thing she wanted was to land in hospital again, so after the second episode she spoken to Tara. Her daughter in law had given her the once over and basically told her she'd had an anxiety attack, a god damn _panic attack _like some neurotic crazy bitch.

Gemma sat at her dressing table in her robe, slowly removing her make up, her glorious mane of well kept hair still perfectly in place. She swept away the foundation and cover up, the shadow, the loner and mascara. Her eyes took in her naked face, the pink scars of Clay's attack now once again visible, for only her eyes to see.

She raised a manicured hand up to her face assessing her expression lines, she hid the ones on her forehead with her bangs, not too bad for her age. Around her tired eyes- oh god the dark shadows and lines...fuck she didnt just _feel _old, in this harsh light she actually _looked _it toowithout her armour like make up and clothes, a disturbing thought came to her- she was just as vulnerable as the next person her age sat there like that.

Guess you couldnt really lie to yourself when you were finally truly alone.

She'd given everything to the club, for the men she loved and their legacy- her youth, the dreams she'd had as a young woman. She'd lost the chance of a career of her own, her youthful dream was to own her own restaurant, her passion for cooking had never left her, now she lavished on the guys of the club whenever she could, so it wasnt a totally abandoned dream. Being a mother to grown children wasnt so bad, being a grandma was amazing, but she still felt _alone in this house_ when everyone went about their lives.

What the fuck did other people do with all of the time? Maybe Zoe was right, maybe she did need a hobby or something.

The next day Juice was up at the crack of dawn pealing himself off the freezing cold bathroom floor off the side of his dorm room. Sitting up really wasnt the best of ideas because it had him crawling to the toilet to throw up miserably. Jesus he couldnt even remember getting into his room.

Through the open door he glanced at his bed as he flushed- who the fuck was that sleeping in his bed? Christ this morning had become some twisted version of _Goldilocks and the Three Bears _and he wasnt happy at all to find some bitch still sleeping in his bed!

He was one of the kinder ones in the club, he didnt mind the croweaters sleeping beside him, but the second they left he was stripping the bedding and boiling the hell out of them in the machine, but this morning he wasnt feeling at all hospitable, he wanted this girl _gone _he had a head full of that stupid kiss with Zoe and how to bury it and not face her.

He grabbed his toothbrush and got busy ridding himself of the disgusting taste that clung to his mouth and headed over to the bed. He wasnt best pleased to see his once pristine white sheets were now streaked with grubby fake tan, his pillow cases were also smeared with slept in mascara and smudged greasy lipstick and whatever else these girls layered their faces with to lure weak willed, over sexed men...like himself clearly!

He grabbed her patchy orange foot that peaked out of the covers and shook it to wake her up- whoa did she just grunt at him like a hog? Any other morning he's have found that funny, but not today his patience was rice paper thin-

''Hey! Wake up!'' he yelled around the toothbrush clamped between his teeth.

Juice wiped away some of the escaping tooth paste, stomping back to the bathroom to rinse. Once that was done he was a man on a pissed off mission especially when the orange toned stank hadnt moved an inch.

Patience could go to hell on a magic carpet as far as he was concerned with common courtesy bringing up the rear, he dragged the bedding off and saw the naked girl huff and pull her face from the ruined pillows-

''Morning'' she yawned, looking like the Joker with her make up looking like a Rorschach ink blot test, not a pretty sight at all.

''Yeah yeah whatever, you need to go, like _now.''_

Juice picked up her tiny skirt and black fringed bra-top..thing- ''Hurry up.''

She got dressed and didnt look pleased at all as she stumbled out on her 6inch stripper heels, not that he gave a shit about her feelings. The second the door shut he was tearing the bedding free and dragging the cases from the pillows and the comforter and was off to the laundry room putting them all on the hottest setting he could find. Then set about getting ready to go home. He'd shower there, his day off was going to be hell is he stayed at the clubhouse, so has to try and enjoy a few simple things before everyone woke up and reminded him of the ass he'd been.

For all he knew Zoe and Happy could have spent the night together, now that was a bad picture given his delicate guts, god that was a horror show and a half he'd gotten wedged in his brain. Then again he'd never seen any of her past boyfriends, she'd kept that side of her life very private and to him those other guys didnt really exist as he'd never met them. Shit- that sounded like denial to him, just like some mental chick, it was official he was now a total pussy!

Heading silently through the shambolic clubhouse he let himself out of the main door, thankful for the rest of the guys being heavy sleepers, he wouldnt have been able to wake them with an air raid siren.

Zoe woke to the sound of a bike leaving the lot, what time was it? She located her cell in her pile of clothes- 7.20am, someone was keen. There was no getting back to sleep for her once she was up, awake meant getting up to start the day for her.

No way was Happy seeing her looking like _this _after her triumphant appearance at his party, she tidied up her straightened hair, brushed her teeth, added a touch of mascara, then had a thought- if she hung around here she'd get conned into making breakfast for 20-something guys- not a chance in hell, they could order in! She threw her clothes into a bag and jumped in her car.

When she got home she was surprised to see Juice's bike on the drive, she hoped there wasnt some skank lurking inside. That was their rule- the house was only for them it was a sanctuary away from that shit, somewhere they could go to be shamelessly nerdy and just themselves.

Cautiously she entered keeping an eye out for any signs of discarded panties and stripper heels- nothing out of place so far.

She loved this house, it was a single storey red bricked haven with its clean magnolia walls, varnished wooden floors and oak furniture, it was classic and it had no clutter, the lounge had a perfectly organised book case in each of its alcoves either side of the fire, housing their individual collections of comics, books, DVD's and in Zoe's case- her vinyl collection.

Zoe found Juice in the kitchen pouring coffee-

''Morning you.'' she said full of cheer to try and wipe out any potential weirdness that could spring up from that kiss.

He didnt even turn to look at her-

''Oh..erm hi.''

She leaned in the door way- ''You ok Ortiz?''

He just shrugged not turning around.

''Juice as much as I love looking at the reaper on your back and that hot ass of yours, could you look at me when I'm _trying _to talk to you?...please?'' she felt pretty powerless while begging him.

He sighed slamming his mug down on the dark grey granite counter top sending the coffee sloshing everywhere not that he gave a flying fuck about that right then-

''Fine I'm looking.'' he turned to face her- ''So carry on.''

''Can we talk about last night?''

''Not happening.'' he shook his head- ''There's nothing to say.''

Zoe folded her arms under her impressive rack determined to get this straightened out-

''oh yes there is, can we be adult about this?''

He let out a humourless laugh and said-

''Like you're the authority on _adult behaviour, _you hide away in your studio, you're like a little kid who covers her eyes so the boogie man doesnt get her- if you dont see it it doesnt exist!''

Zoe was suddenly livid- ''Oh you wanna play that game do you?! Well if I'm so bad at dealing with my shit am I? What about you? You forget thing conveniently dont you? I'm not the one who tried to kill themselves with a tow chain around the neck and a fucking tree branch! I didnt walk across a fucking minefield, you fucking retard!''

Juice just froze and she knew that she'd gone a step too far bringing up his suicide attempt from last year-

''Juice-''

He just looked at the middle distance and put his hand up to silence her, his mouth set-

''No! Get out!''

''What?''

''Pack your shit and go.'' he just couldnt make himself meet her eyes now- ''It's _my house _Zoe and _you're _leaving it. Dont be here when I get back because I dont need you throwing _that _back at me, of all the things, so fuck you.''

Zoe heard the door slam shut- fuck this had not gone to plan at all. Picking out her cell she dialled the only person who'd understand-

''Hey ma.''

''Hey baby, you ok?''

''No..erm..Juice and I got into a fight and I'm now technically homeless.''

She heard her mom chuckle- ''Ok I'll send Phil and Rat with the van to help you pack, I'll make your old room up. At least this way you wont have our resident Killer living over the street from you.''

Zoe let out a helpless laugh- ''Ah the silver lining. Thanks ma guess its just gonna be us two single gals at your place now.''

''Been a long time since you've lived here honey, now we cans hare a drink and joint without it looking like bad parenting.''

The prospects came with boxes and bubble wrap and turned out to be surprisingly careful with her belongings and they were both sweet guys, lord only knew how the club would effect them in the long run. Phil was in awe of her comic collection and Rat was the same about her vinyl collection, so her prized possessions were in good hands.

She was putting her cases of clothes in the back of the van on what used to be her drive when she heard the sound of Harleys approaching. Oh great who the hell was coming to laugh their assess of at her? She was much more presentable now, in old blue jeans, a snug white tank top, black Converse and her hair in a high braided pony tail.

The first to pull up at the curb and was Jax wearing a shit eating grin and- '_Fuck me sideways it had to be Happy didnt it!' _she cursed inside her own head, eyes going skywards and said under her breath-

''God you are a mother fucker!''

Jax swaggered over in his usual way-

''Hey Zo, when ma said this was going down I had to see it to believe it. Shit.'' he laughed.

''Fuck you all the way to hell and back Jackson.'' she sighed= ''He's been a complete ass...so I was one back...with hints of overkill too.''

Happy watched the Teller siblings as he hung his helmet over the handle, stepping off. His dark eyes went over the road to what was now _his home- _not bad at all, attached garage, big enough for him, quiet street, high fences on both sides of the yard to keep the neighbours at bay, couldnt ask for more really.

Jax went inside to check on Rat and Phil as she looked to Happy, feeling that familiar quiver in her stomach as he removed his shades.

''How the cheek?''

''Fine you did good.''

''A compliment? I didnt know you had it in you?''

He saw her soft little smirk and he couldnt let himself give her one in return, he just narrowed his eyes and asked-

''Just how much of a prick do you think I am?''

''Ooh talk about a loaded question.'' she teased, seeing him purse those wonderful lips of his- ''Sorry but I honestly have no idea, havent seen you in years and we were hardly close friends back then now were we?''

He didnt really want to think about back then or _that night,_ he'd probably been too rough on her, after all she'd still been the princess of the mother charter and he'd shown her blatant disrespect, so he simply ignored that line of questioning and changed the subject, one to throw her off her game of teasing-

''I've seen your work.''

He saw her surprise, which was understandable, showing that his idea had worked as hoped.

''You have?'' she asked one brow arched at him.

''I have.'' he confirmed- ''Didnt know you had talent like that.''

She saw something in his hard but painfully attractive face that looked like...was it _respect?_ But then again he was a tattoo artist, so he knew what he was talking about-

''Well thank you, that means something coming from a fellow artist.''

He nodded his head glad in a strange way that she saw what he did as art too, many saw tattooing akin to graffiti on a men's room wall, there to simply get a reaction and provoke.

Not knowing why but she went with the impulse and said-''You can stop by my studio if you're interested..if not that's ok too.''

she let the words hang there for a few seconds, wondering what he'd come back with if anything at all.

Her offer was a big step, this he knew from what Kozik had told him in the past, he'd said that her studio was like Fort Knox, so getting this offer wasnt an every day thing, so he accepted the invitation-

''sure.''

''Great.'' she nodded those green eyes of her holding no hidden agendas at all- ''stop by whenever you want.''

''Will do.'' he took a pack of cigarettes from his cut pocket and lit one- ''You going back to Gemma's?''

''Yeah, can I tell you something?'' she inquired, wondering if it was ok to chat to him or if he'd just tell her to fuck off.

One nod was all she got back.

''Its like this- I dont like ma being at the house alone these days.''

He exhaled the smoke- ''Why?''

''You know what Clay was like towards the end of his presidency right?''

He stayed silent which she took as a 'yes' in Happy body language.

''That asshole beat the shit out of her and he's going to keep on at her until she either takes him back or takes him out. And if she can't pull the trigger on him at least I'll be around to step up and do it for her.''

Happy saw it in her moss green eyes, she'd do it, she'd defend her ma to the death, just like he would for his own. He saw her strength, the Killer within her was so carefully hidden even he had to strain to see it, but right then and there it was looking out of her blazing eyes and it didnt make him recoil.

Hmm maybe they had more in common than he'd ever realised.

**AN: I hope you liked it, because I loved writing it. Drop me a review with what you think, if you have any suggestions just let me know it'd be great to hear from you all. Thanks again for reading. Cheers my dears.**

**R&R :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: thank you to everyone who read and reviewed and added me to their favourite lists, its all much appreciated. Glad you're loving the Happy, Juice and Zoe triangle, so lets get chapter 4 under way shall we.**

**R&R**

**I only own my ocs.**

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 4

(Jax)

_My dad always used to say to me as a kid- 'Son in this life if you're looking for a fight it'll always pay up' and he was right, but we face enough bullshit day to day without inviting it in to go a few rounds too._

Gemma couldnt have been happier to have her daughter back home, maybe she could help fill up some of those long silences that seemed to hang over the house. But fairly soon after the last of the boxes had been taken up to Zoe's room, that Teller spark fired up and her agitation at being kicked out of her home, had began to take root. Gemma could hear her stomping down the stairs after tearing the packing boxes to shreds and violently stuffing the remains into the garbage out back.

She held back before going up to check on her once the one woman crusade had calmed down. Gemma stood in the doorway and watched as Zoe sifted through her case of vinyl records and picked one.

Zoe knew just which one she wanted and slid it out of its sleeve and its paper cover and blew away any surface dust and with the utmost care put it on her turn table, waiting for that smooth crackle to begin.

Gemma heard the distinctive opening vocals of Janis Joplin's 'Cry Baby.' and smiled to herself at all of the memories this brought flooding back to her.

Zoe found it quite fitting given the pissy little bitch fit that Juice had just pitched, yes he could be a bad ass, he was tough but like every guy, he had a foot stomping, pouting five year old just beneath the surface, ready to kick up a stink, well fuck him right back! Yes she'd probably sprinted right past the line of merely fighting her corner, when she'd brought up his suicide, but where did he get off talking to her like that?

Neither of them had given maturity a fighting chance that morning, but Juice had to remember how much she'd put on the line when she'd kept the secrets he had lurking in his closet- about his father and about Juice ratting on the club and all that shit about Miles's death too, Zoe has stood by him through it all and really she should have told Jax, it was a club matter, yet she'd put Juice first all the way.

''Zo, this was one of you fathers favourite records.''

She looked at Gemma and nodded- ''I remember you used to sing this around the house to make him smile.'' the memory was to clear to her.

Gemma nodded- ''It was the only way to make him smile after a fight.'' she walked over to the blanket chest over by the window and sat down- ''One smile from him and we were fine.''

''Gonna take more than a song to clear shit up with Juice.''

''Just leave him be for a while, I wanna enjoy having my baby home again for a while.''

Zoe smiled at her mom as Janis sang her heart out- ''Dont think that will be much of a problem.''

''Wanna tell me about Happy?''

''You know it all, he let me patch him up and he wasnt a dick to me, nothing new to report.''

''dont give me that crap, the last time one of my babies kept a secret from me I wound up with a junky for a daughter in law.''

They both shuddered at the mention of Wendy Case.

''Well Hap's hot.'' Zoe smiled bobbing her dark brows.

''I've got eyes baby. Humour me and talk.''

''Fine, he's sexy too, think its the dangerous and dedicated thing they've got. But he's wicked smart too.''

''Smart and scary, you always did go for the freaky bastards didnt you?''

Zoe couldnt deny that, her high school boyfriend had been a fucking lunatic, but in her defence she had been looking for a substitute for Happy and found a whole new kind of fucked up and weird. She'd had no idea at the time that he'd been Darby's nephew. Well not until Gemma had all but caught them in the act and recognised the little shit.

Juice got home after lunch and found Zoe's car was missing, fuck- maybe she really had gone? Or maybe her car was at the shop, she said it needed a tune up, no way would she leave she was too much of a stubborn bitch. He was probably going to walk in and find her having one of her Manga marathons, running dialogue to Akira or Ghost in the Shell, surrounded by candy wrappers.

Finding the door locked was no biggy, she was a security conscious girl, but once he got inside he found her keys on the matt. Fuck.

The silence was like a lead blanket over the whole house, he went straight to the lounge and found the floor to ceiling bookcase in the first alcove empty, the picture of them at Fun Town with Jax and Tara was laying face down on the mantle too. Her geeky little Super Mario flying goomba from beside the clock was even gone.

His eyes went to his bookcase in the opposite alcove and something wasnt right with it. In fact something was _very wrong- _his mint condition graphic novels werent in order any more and neither were his dvds or blu rays. What the fuck!?

His OCD was twitching something crazy, this had to be rectified or he'd go insane, how could she do this to him?- because she knows it'll mess with your head- he answered himself.

Shedding his cut he took everything off the shelves, cursing her name, actually glad that he'd kicked her out now, or he'd wouldnt have been responsible for his actions, crazy bitch!

Gone were the days of him suffering through her bouts of PMS that easily bordered on schizophrenic in his eyes! No more getting showered with tampons when he was simply looking for painkillers in the bathroom cabinet! And fair well to her hair clogging up the shower drain every week without fail, he'd save a fortune in drain cleaner alone.

Living with a chick wasnt anything like guys made it out to be, she'd never once wandered around in her bra and panties in front of him and she'd never had a girlie sleepover with her friends in her bedroom. Penthouse forum was so full of bullshit merchants.

Happy looked around his new home, Jax had been right there wasnt any girlie shit anywhere, it was a real guys place, right down to the black leather couch and the plain black bedding and towels. He hadnt lived in a house since he'd lived with his ma in his teens. Its always been dorm rooms or motel rooms while he was Nomad. But he had to put some roots down some where, after all his ma was doing better now and was even talking about _visiting _him when he got settled.

He grabbed a cold beer from the fridge- Gemma and Tara knew what a Son needed in home comforts. He shed his Cut and sat on his new couch and relaxed for the first time in what felt like a decade.

Looking out of his window and saw right into Juice's lounge across the street- what the fuck was that retard doing with that arm full of books? He shook his head and looked away, that kid really was tapped in the head.

Zoe refused to stay home on a Saturday night, if she wasnt working, she wasnt hanging at home with only that creepy fucking bird for company. It kept wolf whistling every five minutes, she swore she was going to break Tig's nose for teaching it to do that. She was going out with Kelly and two college friends from her UCLA days. When her mom found out where she was going and who she was meeting all she said was-

''Zo why do you insist on making your life harder, you know Jax doesnt like you going there, he'll flip his shit when he finds out.''

''Then dont tell him. Why do you think I didnt invite Miss Tara? I love the girl with all my heart but keeping secrets from Jax? Not her strongest feature, I bet that was whipped out of her at St Cecilia's,''

Gemma chuckled recalling when Tara's dad had taken her out of Charming High and sent her to the Catholic school to be taught by nuns, all in a hope of keeping Tara and Jax apart.

''Baby be careful, take care of each other and if you cant be good, be _safe.''_

''I'mnot going out to get laid ma, I do have some self control.''

''Are you sure you're my kid?'' Gemma teased. ''Go have fun.''

''You wouldnt be saying that if I walked in here on Sunday morning with a hickey on my tit and my panties balled up in my purse.''

''No you're right, I'd track the guy down buy him a drink after checking that you'd left him in one piece.'' she smirked pouring herself a cup of coffee as Zoe sat at the dining table with her mirror, carefully doing her hair.

''Jesus, you make me sound like a rabid animal.''

She took the seat over the table from her daughter and said-

''Yeah well I saw the state you left Juice in after your wild ride with him and honey that boy was totally fucked out. You burst his lip and tore his back to ribbons. So good luck to your next guy. You need an _opponent _not a partner, you're like me.''

Zoe cringed- ''Queen of the over share!''

That night Zoe and Kelly were in their cab heading to meet the girls, while Gemma went to the clubhouse to check in with Jax.

''Hey ma.'' he hugged her and she kissed his cheek- ''Can you do me a favour tonight?''

''Sure baby.''

''Can you go check in on Tara, she'd been in surgery all day and its the sitters night off.''

''Of course.''

''Where's Zo? Nesting?''

''No out with Kelly. You got stuff going on tonight?''

Jax nodded- ''Nothing much just a few things to go over, precaution shit.''

''Well be safe.''

''Always am'' he winked.

Gemma spotted Juice on his laptop in the corner ignoring the few croweaters that were hanging around him. She couldnt resist going over to him. Perching on the edge of his desk she waited for him to look up at her and he did, nerves showing instantly, this boy could hide nothing with that face-

''Oh hey Gem.''

''You're being a fucking retard.''

He tried to smile and started running his hand over his Mohawk, it was one of his many nervous ticks and said-

''Probably.''

''Yeah, she's a pain in the ass at times I get that, but next time you get the drunken urge to play _jealous male friend _go role play with one of the fucking croweaters, dont kiss my daughter then treat her like she did something wrong. You made the choice to be the _platonic friend _to her, so that means you dont get to backtrack on that after one too many shots.''

She left, knowing that she'd given him enough food for thought, now she just hoped he took on board the meaning behind her words- choose your side and stay there!

Zoe and Kelly got to the bar at the club and _finally _the bar tender noticed them, The Mill was the place to go in Oakland and from behind them a voice called to the pretty useless bartender-

''These ladies drink for free here.''

Both girls turned and saw the handsome face of Leroy Wayne, owner of the club and leader on the One Liners. Zoe smiled and gave him a hug as usual-

''Thanks. Looking sharp as ever.''

He straightened his immaculate black suit, his ever present gang colours showing in his purple open collared shirt-

''Well thank you, you both look beautiful tonight, got your VIP booth ready, I'll escort you both over.''

With one click of his fingers their drinks were on a tray being brought over by a stunning waitress- ''You girls be careful tonight, I've got company coming in here in about an hour.''

Kelly nodded- ''You know us Leroy, you wont even know we're here.''

He never got any trouble from the Samcro pair, they were nice girls, who treat him with respect no matter what club shit was going down, they kept clear of it all.

In the reserved VIP booth sat Leroy's little sister Monica and Tia Alvarez. When the four girls saw each other they were full of smiles and hugs. It was a complex meeting and mixture of all kinds of crazy, but it worked.

What drove the men of their worlds apart had drawn the girls together at UCLA. Tia's uncle was Marcus Alvarez and her dad was the VP. So with the four girls from four outlaw worlds met, they knew that none of them had to make any excuses for their families, no explanations were ever needed, it was instant understanding and sisterhood.

Leroy sent a bottle of champagne over to the girls and hoped they'd have a good time. They only ever met and partied at his club, it was too risky anywhere else. It also helped that he loved Zoe's art, his fiancée Melody loved the piece that he had hung in their bedroom at their house, she thought it was very classy of him to personally know an artist, so that scored him big points with her.

This was how Zoe cut loose- when she allowed herself to really let go and it was with her girls, no need to play coy or censor herself, she was free. When they were busy catching up Tia asked-

''So whats new with you Zo?''

Zoe was about to play down the Juice situation just out of fear that the wild Latina would hunt the guy down and beat him bloody. That had been the plan until an excitable Kelly said-

''_Plenty! _Juice kissed her!''

Monica-who'd practically been planning Zoe's wedding to Juice for the past 6 years got a huge salacious grin spreading across her gorgeous face-

''I fucking knew you'd cave eventually.''

''Don't go reserving a venue just yet, the little prince of Queens and I got into it and he kicked me out of the house.''

Monica's romantic dream went up in smoke before her very eyes-

''Damn it,I'll never get to a biker wedding at this rate.''

''yes you will,'' Zoe said quickly changing the subject, her eyes sliding to Tia- ''When this one finally reels Roberto in, who she's been shamelessly toying with for _ten long years.''_

Tia chuckled, blushing slightly-

''There's _news _there.'' she paused for effect- ''We're erm..kinda engaged.''

The girls couldnt hide their shock descending into full on girlie hysteria, toasting to the pair and when Kelly took Tia's hand to check out the ring, her finger was empty-

''Where's the rock?''

''I can't _wear it _nobody else knows.''

They couldnt help but laugh at her face, clearly telling her dad and uncle was no small thing for the usually out spoken girl, none of them envied her that job.

''I wanna do some unique vows when the time comes, the Sons vows are pretty bad ass.''

Kelly and Zoe slung an arm around each other and began reciting the biker wedding vows that JT had made up to make Gemma laugh on their wedding day and had been said by every married Son ever since-

_''I promise to treat you as good as my leather and ride you as much as my Harley.''_

The girls knocked back their champagne and shared a smile, knowing that it was time for them to hit the dance floor.

Leroy couldnt keep an eye on the girls when they were dancing it freaked him out too much, he suddenly became a big brother to all of them and big bro needed to see that shit.

The girls were grinding to 'Hypnotize' by Notorious B.I.G, not giving a shit who was watching or their reactions, this was too much fun.

Leroy took his phone call- fuck! Timing was a bitch, Jax Teller was in the house, as his baby sister was letting the freak out on the dance floor. He went straight to the side door with his boys, leaving the girls to be kept safe from a distance with the rest of his security on high alert.

Jax saw the 9ers leader heading over, the shook hands and he greeted the other Sons who had accompanied the President-

'Lets take this to my office shall we.''

Jax nodded, then turned to Koz and Happy-

''Hang back.''

Chibs and Opie went with their President.

Koz and Hap had never been to The Mill before, so they wanted to be familiar with the layout, know where all of the exits were if shit went down. They had their cuts covered with plain black hoodies, they weren't out to advertise their presence to some wannabe little gangster out to prove his metal by taking out a Son or two.

The pulsing music was a world away from the hard and classic rock they heard at the clubhouse, but it certainly had an effect on the girls, they danced like they were on heat.

Zoe flicked her long waves over her shoulder and locked eyes with a real knock out, built like a dream, well dressed and said in Kelly's ear-

''Kell I've just fallen in lust.''

The blonde laughed- ''Where's the stud at?''

Zoe motioned to the guy and Kelly was agog-

''Its LL Cool J's clone, go get him before someone else does!''

''_He _can come to _me.'' _she chuckled bobbing her brows.

Kelly rolled her blue eyes, her friend never chased guys, she was too afraid of getting knocked back, Happy really had ruined her confidence. She also toned her wardrobe right down, she never wore skirts or shorts any more, it was always pants and jeans, like tonight. Ok she looked incredibly sexy in her skin tight black skinny jeans, her dark purple corset and her killer heels,but she had a rocking body that she was now too paranoid to show off, that man had a lot to answer for!

Kozik was the first to spot the girls dancing to Snoop Dogg 'Lets Get Blown' and he couldnt believe his eyes. The Samcro girls were in a 9ers club, without a care in the world, he didnt dare alerts Happy or the guy would likely be over there in a shot and causing a scene this far from Charming wasnt a good idea.

He'd known Hap a long time and he'd heard about the post fight patch up between Zoe and Hap, he'd also seen the '_gonna fuck you' _eyes Hap had been giving her at the party too as he'd ran off with his red headed croweater. Juice was clearly on to something.

Happy let his eyes skim the club again, what the fuck was Koz smirking at? Following the line of his gaze he found out exactly what the source was.

It was Monica who spotted Kozik and Happy, she leaned in to tell her girls-

''Samcro in the house.''

Zoe's green eyes snapped to Monica- ''Oh fuck!''

Kelly clocked the pair straight away- ''Oh shit, its Koz and Happy.''

''Oh great.'' Zoe groaned- ''I apologise in advance for whatever follows ladies.''

''Something we should know about?'' Tia inquired her brows bobbing suggestively.

''Talk dark and deadly over there and Princess Crow here have some history.'' Kelly winked.

The grins grew even bigger, sensing some dirt.

''No no no, I _never _nailed the guy!'' Zoe said in her defence.

Monica saw the guys face and the way he was keeping Zoe locked firmly in his sights-

''Honey after tonight you might not be able to say that.''

Tia had to agree- ''_That _guy is gonna fuck you until you forget your own name and he aint gonna be a gentleman about it either.''

Zoe could hear the warning in Tia's voice and just wanted to get the hell out of there or maybe go back in time three hours and change the meeting place. Unable to help herself she looked over and saw Koz's big cheeky grin and his finger pointed to her and he clearly mouthed- _''Busted.''_

He was such a funny and charming guy she couldnt help but smile guiltily at him.

Happy saw the girls heading off the dance floor and go back into the VIP section, how could this happen tonight of all nights?!

Zoe grabbed her purse and knew what she had to do, taking one last sip of the drink Tia had poured her she sighed-

''Back in a sec ladies.''

''Good luck.'' Monica said gently squeezing her friends noticeably shaking hand.

Tia put the pieces together and looked to the blonde at her side-

''It's _him _isnt it? Tall dark and deadly – he'd that prick she was in love with isnt he?''

Kelly nodded- ''Only difference this time is that he's really got his work cut out for him, no way in hell is she gonna be some swooning little angel, she's changed.''

Monica had to agree there- ''She's never going to trust that guy again.''

''Exactly my point.''

She looked at Kozik's smug grin as he said-

''You're wearing purple? In 9ers territory, are you changing sides on us Princess?''

''Shut up asshole, I come here all the time, Leroy's sister is one of my best friends and my mom knows I'm here too, so that means I'm in the clear.''

He shook his head- ''Not me you need to be explaining shit to, you might have a harder time with big bro or _him.''_

She scowled at him hating that he'd picked up on shit with Hap already- ''No wonder Tigger hates you.''

Looking to Happy he wouldnt even meet her eyes, that was the worst sign of them all-

''_Now _you're ignoring me? Did I offend your private little code of public conduct?''

Zoe knew she'd had too much to drink, because her smart mouth was now firmly in the drivers seat, strapped in and pedal to the metal was the only speed it knew.

Happy felt his rage reach fever pitch as the little brunette began verbally bating him, his eyes snapped to her and quick as lightning his hand shot out and locked around her tiny wrist and he was striding off with her in tow out of the side door, not caring if she could keep up in her heels. He felt her stumbling several times behind him but his pace didnt falter once.

Koz laughed watching them go-

''Oh I love a good domestic.''

Once they were out in the private car park , he swung her around to face him and Zoe was mad as hell, her ankle was killing her from where she'd twisted it trying to keep up with this maniac!

''What the fuck do you think you're doing!?'' she yelled.

Her response from him was a deep growl- ''Watch your fucking mouth!''

She could barely feel her fingers his grip was so tight, his face was broadcasting anger that she'd never had directed at her before and it pissed her off more than it scared her-

''Tell me what I've done wrong first.''

''You're _not protected _here, yet you're out there dancing like-''

''Like what? Like a whore? A slut? Go on say it, tell me what you think I looked like out there.''

His grip dropped from her wrist and he caught her by the shoulders, his face inches from her as his Killer side began to rear its head-

''You said it all _for _me Princess.''

Fuck, that stung, he thought she really was a slut, she refused to look away from his black eyes and said through gritted teeth-

''You dont know a god damn thing about me.''

''So you didnt throw yourself at me 6 years ago?''

Zoe thought she was going to throw up, had he _really _just said that? Through a haze of tears she whispered-

''I did, but you did your fare share to encourage me Hap, you were hardly an innocent bystander. I was just the idiot who loved you for it.''

Happy instantly loosened his bruising grip on her shoulders and she refused to let those tears fall even when her eyes slid away from his, a bitter whispery laugh escaped her soft lips-

''I'll do my usual thing of walking away after being humiliated in front of you shall I.''

Once the door slammed shut, he forced himself into action and was hot on her heels, but she'd vanished, all he saw was Koz waiting for him.

Love? She'd loved him?

Why should it even matter? It was in the past but it altered how he viewed the past that was for sure.

Koz said- ''The girls are safely in a cab heading home. Dont know what you said to her but it worked.''

Happy just grunted and went back to surveying the club.

The girls didnt know what had gone on with Happy, but Zoe was not in a good mood, someone was going to get their heads caved in if they got in her face any time soon.

Tia handed Zoe a slip of paper-

''The LL Cool J look-a-like wanted you to have this.''

Zoe took the piece of paper and read it out to them-

''_Call me sometime I'd love to hear from you'' _she smiled- ''And he's even called _James _his home and cell number.''

Kelly gave her a nudge- ''Please call this one.''

''Not a chance in hell.'' Zoe slipped the note into her purse.

''Please.'' Kelly begged- ''If only to piss Happy off some more.''

''Honey after that talk we just had it think our short lived truce is over.''

Monica frowned as the cab pulled up to her house- ''What does that mean now?''

Zoe looked her in the eyes and said- ''I gave him the one reason he needed to never speak to me again.''

Tia saw Mon's confusion and said-

''She told him about _loving _him back in the day.''

Zoe nodded- ''So, I'll be invisible to him now. Guys like him dont do love and feelings.''

Monica hugged her before getting ready to leave them-

''God damn it, you really know how to piss your biker boys off dont you. Two inside 24 hours, you're on a roll.''

When the cab had dropped Tia off next, Kelly held Zoe's hand on the darkened back seat comfortingly, as they headed for home.

She was hoping that bad luck didnt come in three's, two was bad enough for 24 hours, even in their world.

**AN: I hope you liked it, sorry for the delay in updating I have a pretty crazy job with long hours and night shifts. But drop me a review, thanks for reading.**

**R&R please xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: hi there sorry for the longer than usual wait, but my laptop got a virus (thanks Alex!) and it needed some TLC. But I'm back and thanks so much for all of the faves and reviews, you made my manic work week fly by too. So cheers my dears ;) so lets get #HAPPYHOUR under way shall we...**

**R&R**

**I only own my ocs.**

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 5

(Gemma)

_Secrets are what life is built on and in our case- what our life is sustained by. But when you're faced with a secret that could smother your own child, its your duty to find out every last detail of it and snuff it out before it becomes the death of them._

Zoe was glad that her mom hadnt been waiting up for her when she got back home, because when she looked in the mirror of her dressing table she looked shell shocked. But after that showdown with Happy, she was feeling lucky to have been allowed to walk away. Ok she was possibly jumping the gun there, she had no actual proof that he'd ever laid a hand on another girl of the club.

Yet when it came to his club duty all bets were off, he didnt become a notorious and feared Son for nothing. The tag _Killer _ and the 'Man of Mayhem' patch didnt get dished out for sitting on your ass just looking tough, you got that through _blood shed._

There was so much going on inside of her head, that there was no chance of sleep coming now, usually she'd be going to join Juice on the couch as he played Call of Duty when his own insomnia was playing up. Her heart ached at the knowledge that those easy days of friendship were now so out of reach.

Why had he been so strand offish about the kiss? She was willing to forgive and forget about it, to act as if it had never happened, but _no _he'd gone and gotten all defensive. What the fuck was going on in that guys head?!

Over at Juice's house he was sat on the couch in his boxers and an old t-shirt playing Call of Duty in the lounge. This was fucking weird, he wasnt used to being on this couch alone at this hour, Zoe was so often at his side with her sketch book in hand laughing as he swore down the head set at other players.

Gemma's words to him were going around in his head on a very distracting loop, he'd gotten the not so subtle message from her and it was basically- either step up and be more than a friend or just keep your hands to yourself.

But how could they be _more? _ She was the presidents sister and want that against club rules?..._says the guy who's already slept with her!_

Who's side was his subconscious on?!

Throwing the headset and the xbox controller down and grabbed his cell, contemplating just calling her. His head was torn away from that idea by the sound of a Harley coming down the street, who the hell was that it was 2am?

But it wasnt his drive that it pulled into, once he'd checked the spy hole he got his explanation- he'd forgotten that Happy had moved in over the street from him. He loved the guy like he did all of his brothers, but when it came to Zoe- not so much.

He hit one on the speed dial on his cell, just needing to check that she was really ok.

Zoe was on her bed, sketching when her cell began playing 'Gin and Juice' making her jump slightly, her hand hesitated over the phone, but she figured she'd faced harsher things over the past few hours than a stern phone call. So she picked it up and slid her thumb over the touch screen-

''Hello.''

''Hey...''

She could hear his reservations already- ''Can't sleep?'' she inquired the pencil in her hand tapping on her raised knee.

She knew him so well, he smirked going back to his place on the couch-

''Yeah the usual.''

''Me too, Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto?''

''Call of Duty.''

''That kid in Texas still owning you?''

''Yes.'' he sighed feeling the easy banter just flow as if nothing had ever changed with them- ''Did..did you have a good night?''

''I've honestly had better.''

''Were you with the girls in O Town?''

''Yes.''

''You have trouble?''

''No, Koz and Happy saw us.''

Juice cringed- ''Shit, were they jerks to you for being there?''

If Happy had been a dick to her it was because the fucker wanted to get into Zoe's pants in a really way.

''Well Koz was just...Koz, but Hap was an ass to me.''

''I think he's just like that with everyone.''

Zoe chuckled knowing he was probably right there.

Juice just bit the bullet and came out with it-

''I was a prick to you...I was just..I dont know what to say really, just that I'm sorry for saying all that shit to you.''

''Thanks Ortiz and I'm sorry too for bringing up all of that shit that I did and for messing with your stuff too, that was just mean and it was kinda Jax's idea too.'' she giggled, loving that Jax did occasionally let his well hidden immature side out when he was with her.

''Apology accepted. When you two get together its like there two teenagers are on the loose...I shouldnt have thrown you out, will you come home?''

''Erm...I think I'm going to stay here with ma for a little while...well until Clay leaves her alone.''

''he still being a dick to her?''

''yeah, she tried to play it off like it nothing to her but it gets to her, I know her better than she thinks.''

Juice wanted her back home, so they could work out this odd situation, but he also didnt like the idea of Gemma being alone if Clay finally lost it with her. If Zoe was there it was more fire power and that girl wouldnt think twice about killing the double crossing former president.

''Ok that makes sense, but when that calms down is it still a possibility?''

''Yes its set in stone Ortiz, I will be home.''

She lay back on her bed and they just talked for an hour, about movies, games and comics and then music. It was a relief that they'd moved past their fight, because he was such a huge part of her life and she didnt ever want to be without that.

Juice knew they'd have to talk that kiss one day very soon, because even he couldnt pass it off as just a simple drunken impulse, after all he'd only had a few drinks and a few swigs of vodka and in his book that was stone cold sobriety.

On Sunday morning Zoe drove on to the lot, her mirrored aviators shading her tired eyes, she'd only had about three hours sleep after all. Parking in her usual space she grabbed her bag and her sketch book, Jesus this place was a ghost town, not a person in sight. That meant that her ma was inside cooking for the guys and she was obligated to make and appearance.

Heading inside she adjusted her bag on her shoulder, squared her shoulders and hoped for the best. She was wearing burgundy leggings and a long tank top with The Cure on the front, her knee high biker boots and her natural freshly washed waves piled up in a bun, tendrils escaping, wearing only minimal make up and she honestly didnt give a shit if she looked far from the typical club princess at that moment.

In the kitchen doorway she smiled at the guys all stood or sat with plates as her ma and Luann served them, she popped her shades on top of her head and said-

''Cosy domesticity at its best.''

The guys smiled happily at her, carrying on with their eating and chatting, she ignored Happy stood silently over by the side of the fridge, not _daring _to meet his dark eyes just yet. Would she ever be able to after outing herself to him about being _in love with him _back in the day?

Gemma came over and kissed her cheek-

''Morning baby.''

''Morning.''

''Let me fix you a plate.''

''No thanks ma, I've got work to do.'' she held up her sketch book earning herself an eye roll from her mother- ''What? Its my job, not a dub hobby to while away the hours.''

''fine.'' Gemma relented heading back to the stove, only to turn to her again smirking, pulling something from the back pocket of her jeans- ''One question Zo.''

''What's that?''

Gemma unfolded the piece of paper she'd just taken out and turned it over-

''Who the hell is _James _and why is he asking you to call him some time?''

The kitchen was a sea of cat calls and cutlery being banged on the table and counter tops. Zoe felt her cheeks heating up as she felt Happy glare across the kitchen at her- oh the fucker had an opinion did he?

She met his glare head on and cocked a brow-

''careful Killer that face just might stick if you keep that up.''

She had to look away she just didnt trust herself with any more words, so she went over to her mother and took the number -

''Thanks so much.''

Gemma was doing her best to goad Juice into action or if she couldnt get him to step up, maybe Happy could get his bad ass in action instead.

Juice didnt know why but he out his arm around her as she stood beside him and as usual she didnt stop him, they were _that _comfortable with each other. She smirked up at him and stole the toast off his plate, dealing him a cheeky smile, which he just rolled his eyes at and said sarcastically-

''Oh help yourself.''

''Dont mind if I do.'' she grinned nudging him with her shoulder.

Happy gritted his teeth at the sight of the pair all friendly once again, like a pair of love struck kids on a fucking date, where was that cocky little hell cat who gave him shit? She could hide that wild side around the rest of the people in the club, but he saw he clear as day.

That girl was a stone cold crazy bitch, who probably has a dirty freak side to her that could keep even him guessing. He'd seen her on that dance floor, any girl who could move her body like that could never be a shrinking violet who hid under the covers blushing.

Zoe was chewing her last bite happily when Juice said in her ear-

''what you working on?''

The tone and his proximity sent an unexpected shiver down her spine, she swallowed and let the sensations pass as she forced herself to front it out-

''That's a secret.''

''you dont keep secrets from me.'' he grinned.

Zoe shrugged not daring to match his oddly flirtatious tone, that could be dangerous given that they'd only just made up.

''You dont know _everything _about me Ortiz.'' she said moving out from under his muscular arm, putting her bag back over her shoulder and scooping her sketch book back up- ''Pretty sure you've got your fair share of secrets hidden away too.''

Getting out of there was the best move to make, because she'd seen the guys were nearly done eating and she had no wish to be stuck with Happy as he was always the last one to leave any where, must be a habit from his _extra curricular club activities._

When she was safely in her studio, she changed her clothes into her old faded out blue skinny jeans and grey tank top, all generously covered in paint and super comfy. She put the lights on above her easel and then out her music on. It had to be something filled with passion, fire and feeling but also full of strength that couldnt help take you along for the ride, so she chose Alter Bridge ''Lover''. She turned the volume up a little higher, set her paints out, laid her dried brushes out too and looked at the drawn out canvas and her sketches and began refining the image she saw.

Silently Happy slipped into the studio, his presence and any sound he'd made masked by the music and her sheer focus. His dark eyes went around the room taking in every detail, the smell of the oil paints and her perfume hanging in the air. The walls were navy blue, lighting rigs were hung from the beams, one wall was covered with a swathe of dark blue crushed velvet, that pooled down to the floor in a kind of careless elegance. Her brown paper wrapped canvases stood in a pile in the corner in varying sizes, waiting for her inspiration to use them up.

He saw a table piled high with sketch books, studies pinned to the walls all around her and completes paintings not chosen for exhibition stood in racks near the open bathroom door. So _this _was the sanctuary? The place where her artistic side walked free, it made sense to him now- all the stories of her seclusion becoming clear, it wasnt her locking herself away, it was her setting herself _free._

Zoe was happy- ugh_ that word- _with her improvements to the piece, the image was deeply erotic, of two lovers. The guy in the piece was pinning the girl to a wall, as his lips devoured her neck, his hand was pulling her hair and the girls bare legs were wrapped around his jean clad hips as her nails drew blood from his bare toned back. The girls face was mixture of agony and ecstasy, a feeling she wasnt unfamiliar with.

She pressed 'play' on her ipod dock and the track began again and she rolled her shoulders working out the tension as she chose a selection of reds for the wall that her couple were up against, ranging from a deep burgundy to a bright scarlet, they were perfect for this painting.

Happy watched her, listened to the choice of music, he knew this band, hmm another thing in common- the music was as much a part of the creative process as the paint that she was squeezing onto her palette. Silently he went and sat on the chez, glad that her back was to him, so he could observe her and _learn._

Last night he'd seen passion and fire as she'd set free the flow of truth she'd kept inside for so long and for some fucked up reason he wanted to..Jesus he wasnt even sure what the hell he wanted to do. This was beyond his field of expertise.

Give him a guy to torture and he knew the ins and outs of it before the guy had even broken a sweat, he knew where to cut to inflict the most pain and spill the minimal amount of blood, he also knew how to sustain pain over long periods of time without killing them accidentally, but a 5ft6 woman has him drawing a blank. He'd never cared what any bitch in the past had thought or felt, so this was startlingly alien to him.

Yet Zoe wasnt in the _any other bitch _category, she was club royalty, guys from charters all over the country cared about her, she _mattered _to a lot of people. Part of him knew that he owed her for his disrespect.

Zoe couldnt stop smiling, with paintings like this one, anyone would think that she was having the hottest sex in Charming. When in reality she hadnt gotten any in about a year, but her dreams were frankly pornographic. She'd never shed the fantasies about her night with Juice, they'd just gained all kinds of extra when she fell asleep.

Then came the once about Happy, when her subconscious took her on the _Happy Train _her head and body were always in for one wild ride. Dreams about Juice fucking her and happy fucking her- _not at the same time- _were incredible...then again that was a three way mash up that made her smile, then flat out laugh- a girl could dream.

Happy had no idea what made her laugh that rich, frankly sexy laugh of hers but he found himself really liking the sound.

She began painting those deep red around the two beautiful lovers and felt that odd prickle at the back of her neck, what the hell was going on here? That feeling never came when she was in there in her studio, had her safe haven been invaded under the cover of music? She let the music come to a stop and she carried on painting, not letting her body tense up or change as she waited for something, anything to happen.

The silence was almost oppressive, but she could hear very soft breathing, they were over on the chez! There was only one person capable of keep _that _still, _that _quiet, for _that _long and she didnt want to be alone with him, not this far out of ear shot of the club.

''Didnt think you'd take me up on my offer to see my work.'' she said, carrying on painting, not looking back at him.

Happy smirked to himself, she'd known that he was there, fuck she really did have the club running through her veins didnt she. He went to his cut pocket for his smokes and she cleared her throat-

''You can't smoke in here.''

His dark eyes looked at her, she still hadnt looked at him, how the fuck did she know he was looking for smokes?

Zoe had spent her teens practically studying this guy, she knew that his quiet time was always carried out with an ever present cigarette, so she had been expecting it.

He didnt like the way she kept her back to him, yet kept speaking to him-

''You got no manners princess?''

''Not for the guy who insinuated that I was easy meat last night- no.''

Happy got up with his usual grace and started to look around the studio, hoping its drive her mad, have it feel like a real invasion of her privacy, get her looking at him with some of that fire again.

She swapped brushes and began blending the reds together, softening the shading on the canvas, but still able to track him by the small sounds he was making. Feeling him taking small glances at her genuinely not caring if she looked a mess in her painting gear, its not like she was a model on show to the world to be decorative not functional.

Happy took in every detail of the studies of this couple in the sketches- who the hell were they? Wait a second-was this Zoe? Eyes going to her painting, ho took up position behind her, looking at the canvas a little closer.

She sighed- ''And you questioned _my _manners.''

He leaned in and said in her ear, hardly above a whisper-

''Who's the guy?''

Zoe hadnt heard _that _tone since her teens when he used to flirt with her, that son of a bitch was playing with her to get his answers, well she was wise to his games. She wasnt 15 any more, his charm wasnt needed to sweeten the deal she had nothing to hide. she moved to the side and looked up into his eyes, they'd once looked so black to her, but now under the spot lights they were a rich chocolate brown. They still had that hard unflinching beauty to them, but none of that melted her heart-

''He's an ideal that doesnt exist.''

His eyes didnt leave hers as he spoke-

''Bet you had fun looking.''

The cold tone he used was loaded with accusation again and it made her scowl at him-

''So we're back to me being a whore are we?''

''Well are you?''

she could see not a hint of embarrassment in his eyes as he asked her that, then again he'd probably never felt that in his life!

Setting her palette aside and her brushes down calmly, she stood before him hating their height difference, she was no match for his 6ft1 frame-

''You can think whatever the fuck you like about me because I know the truth. If you must know the number of guys I've slept with is in _single figures_ and if you wanna narrow it down even further- you can count them on one hand. I'm not the charter fuck toy nor was I the campus one. So you can let go of that notion.''

Her honesty was both surprising and refreshing to him, he hadnt met many girls in their world who could count their lovers on one hand. He knew that Zoe was telling the truth, her eyes said just as much as her mouth did, yes she might be hiding her inner wild child just beneath the surface, but she didnt play fast and loose with it.

''Ok I get it.'' he paused- ''So who are you now?''

''Who am I _now? _Hap I dont think you ever knew me back _then. _You played me and it was nothing to you, but it was something to me.''

His eyes left hers, there she was with that brutal honesty again, would he ever get used to it? He doubted it, he was used to bitches being full of bullshit saying what they thought he wanted to hear. It gnawed at him that the knowledge of her getting hurt made him feel guilty. Happy had been sure thathis guilt had died long ago, along with his need for approval and his desire to benormal. He'd lost touch with those feelings so long ago they were barely memorable at all.

''You were just a _kid _back then, I was already 25, I'd have gone to jail, you were the club princess, they might have just taken me out _before _jail was even an issues.''

''I was 22 when I basically gave you the green light.'' she was getting irate now, wanting some long awaited answers from him, he owed her!

Happy turned taking her by the shoulders, not as roughly as the night before, but still firmly-

''you still _looked _like a kid to me. Those clothes werent you, your ma had clearly chosen them for you to wear, I could tell you werent sober either and then you were blushing like a fucking virgin too,what the hell was I supposed to do huh? Fuck you while you were drunk, dressed up in your ma's idea of what she thinks you _ought to look like? NO! _When I fuck someone I want them to know that its _me _they're fucking, not some drunk fantasy they'll never remember clearly.''

Zoe was stunned, no wonder he hadnt wanted her, she'd been dressed up like a Gemma approved Samcro mannequin, in her tight little black dress, some knee high spike heeled boots with studs and false black nails to top off the look. God she felt so embarrassed looking back, she gulped and nodded-

''Guess you dodged a bullet that night.''

She wiped her hands on the thighs of her jeans, not wanting to look at him, not after hearing about the true reason behind his rejection.

Hap could see her shutting down on him right before his eyes and he wasnt having any of that, one of his hands cupped her cheek, forcing her to look at him and he growled-

''Darlin' _when _I fuck you, you're gonna be sober and you're _never _gonna forget it!''

Zoe didnt see the next part coming at all, his harsh lips were on hers in a second, devouring hers greedily. 13 years she'd longed for this kiss and it was finally happening now! He pushed her against the crushed velvet covered wall, his urgency showing when he hauled her up his body so she was wrapped around him. Once she was pinned, his kiss slowed and deepened, her body moulding to his, her lips yielding to him.

Just as she'd imagined- his delicious full lower lip was just as soft as she'd long hoped. Being dominated by him was incredible she didnt mind not being in charge when it felt _this _good.

Happy was becoming addicted to the taste of her, the feel of her tongue against his own, the feel of her incredible breasts crushed to his chest, fuck this was a true test of his restraint right then.

Feeling his lean muscular body against her, his sheer strength holding her up, Zoe couldnt help but get turned on by this man, she'd waited over a decade and she didnt know how much longer she could go without having him fully.

Her girls were right, when Happy finally fucked her he wasnt going to be a gentleman about it, his words playing over and over in her head- _when I fuck you you're be sober and you're never gonna forget it- _Christ she hoped he could live up to that statement.

When he began on her neck, hand knotted in her now free flowing hair her eyes were caught by her painting- the image on the canvas was now her reality, it wasnt just an unreachable fantasy or an ideal, it was her hot, muscular, bad ass inked reality and he was rick hard and ready for _just her!_

Zoe and Happy were so caught up in each other they didnt hear Juice open the door and catch them, nor did they hear Juice shut the door again. All that existed for the pair was each other and the kiss that had been 13 years in the making.

**AN: So I hope you liked it, I had so much fun writing it, drop me a review and let me know what you think I love hearing from you all. So until next time- cheers my dears.**

**R&R please. x.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: hi there thank you all so so much for all the amazing reviews and all of the faves that keep rolling in. so lets get the latest chapter on the road shall we? **

**R&R**

**I only own my ocs.**

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 6

(Luann)

_When you see a couple on camera who have chemistry, you just have to go with it and let an bit of that natural connection into the directors seat along side you. Well away from the cameras, you see that heat too and there's nobody on Earth who can stop it, there's no calling 'Cut!' on that shit. That;d be like trying to halt a stampede with a little red 'Stop' sign. Those dumb enough to try will always be trampled in the fray, its how a lot of good guys gets broken, trying to stop the inevitable._

Juice couldnt believe his eyes as he headed across the lot to his bike, only to be stopped by Chibs-

''What's up Juicy Boy?''

Frowning he came around only when Chibs caught him by the upper arm-

''What? On nothing...just thinking about the drop off later, that's all.''

''Nothing to worry about, Jax and Leroy have it down to the second.'' Chibs didnt know what to believe came to the younger guy these days.

Ok that was maybe a little unfair, the past year he'd been on more of an even keel. But he couldnt force the kid to spill his guts to him.

Juice shrugged forcing a smile to his face-

''Gonna head out for a ride, clear my head, get ready for tonight.''

''Stay safe boyo.'' Chibs patted his shoulder and watched him ride out.

Zoe and Happy were still kissing against the wall of her studio, his hand no longer tangled in the lengths of her hair, it was now caressing down the curve of her breast, down her ribs to her waist coming to rest on the curve of her hip. She resisted the strong urge to grind against his obvious arousal, knowing that this had to end very soon.

Pulling her swollen lips from his, feeling the tingle that his stubble had left behind, she gulped and met his dark heavy gaze and very nearly weakened-

''We need to stop.''

He shook his head, he was ready to fuck her through the wall, stopping wasnt on his agenda, getting laid was.

''Happy I'm serious.'' she unlinked her legs from around him and he let her feet slide to the floor, but he kept her pinned to the wall , one arm braced above her, his other hand clamped to her hip-

''Why'd you stop.''

His thumb caressing her hip bone, making her exhale, hmm she liked that- so he kept on stroking that tiny bit of exposed sensitive skin.

''Because I dont use this place to hook up with guys, that's why.'' she said feeling very crowded by him looming over her like this, it was his sheer presence and those damn eyes of his, add that to the way he was touching her and that _voice _of his and she was in hormonal hell.

Happy didnt know why but he was glad that she didnt make a habit of hooking up with guys in this place-

''Tell me where you _will _do this.''

She raised her hands to his chest, trying to create some space, this was way too intense for a Sunday morning, but he barely moved and inch-

''I also dont fuck guys that I hardly know.''

''You know plenty.''

''And thats still not nearly enough to get into my pants stud.'' she patted his chest.

Hap knew that this wasnt happening, he stepped away from her, dying for a smoke to calm himself down, he was so amped up he wasnt used to being told 'No' by girls they were always saying 'Yes' to him-

''You'd better not be just playing little girl.''

Zoe squared her shoulders and met his eyes, seeing the deadly warning very clearly-

''I'm _not playing _,I never start shit inside the club just for the sake of it.''

He saw that strength, her dedication to the club and her strong way of stepping up to him and telling him when she thought he was wrong, he kinda admired her for that-

''Good, keep it that way, club shit is hard enough without bitches causing shit too.''

She couldnt help the laugh that escaped her-

''Oh god you're such a _guy.''_

Happy had expected her to be offended, but once again she'd given him the polar opposite of that and she'd just laughed.

''Bitches? Well it beats Tig's favourite tern- _gash, _so I can live with _bitch. _Beats being called a cunt.'' she mused.

''Who the fucks ever called you that!?'' he growled.

''cage the beast for a second jeez. It was someone a very long time ago, my first boyfriend and boy did he pay the price.''

''What'd you do? Kill him?'' Happy quipped, choking for a cigarette now.

He saw a cold sinister smirk curve her full lips-

''Maybe.'' she shrugged.

He usually got a good read on people but right then and there he truly hadnt the first clue if she was seriously alluding to murder or if she was just fucking with him.

Zoe couldnt help but smirk still, it was good that she could keep him guessing. After all it proved her point that they didnt really know each other at all and he didnt know her half as well as he seemed to think he did.

She stepped around him, straightening herself up as she looked over her painting, knowing he was not going to let this go.

''You kill someone?''

He leaned over her shoulder and repeated the question, slowly and very close to her ear-

''Zoe, did you kill someone?''

Looking back at him she cocked her brow-

''A lot of shit happened while you werent in Charming, but remember this- I'm a Teller, we get our shit sorted one way or another.''

Happy didnt like the thought of not getting a straight answer from her, yet in his heart he knew that she probably did have it in her do end someone, to survive by killing. The club was in her blood, she was raised to know the truth- kill or be killed. She could be the Samcro killer princess for all he knew.

His pre-paid went, damn it he had to get ready for tonight, they had that gun drop set up and he wanted all of his gear ready just in case, he never left anything to chance. Without another word he left.

Zoe exhaled- fuck that had been intense, the last thing she wanted to do was talk to Happy about her psycho first boyfriend. She'd always known that Hap would be a dangerous guy to hook up with, but reality was knocking her for six. She was still shaking,painting was out of the question now, so she hopped in her car and headed to her ma's place to calm down and grab an early lunch.

Not long after she'd put some of Bobby's lasagne in the oven to heat up, she heard a bike pulling up, she hoped to god that it wasnt Happy coming by to claim Round 2. checking the window in the lounge she saw Juice pull off his helmet and dismount. Zoe opened the door smiling before he could even knock-

''You're just in time for lunch Ortiz, come on it.''

But he wasnt smiling, he was very clearly pissed off, Jesus what was up with him lately?

He entered and she closed the door not getting a word from him, she then found him pacing the lounge like a caged animal at the zoo. Zoe sat down and just waited for him to get his thoughts in line before he spoke, Christ she could see how conflicted he was- what the fuck was wrong with him now!?

He'd stop pacing, look at her, get ready to speak then carry on pacing again while rubbing his mohawk. This went on for so long that the oven timer chimed and she had to dash out to turn it off, the last thin g she wanted was a kitchen fire along with whatever the hell was happening here.

When she came back he'd worn a noticeable cent in the carpet with his boots,but when he turned that time ho looked ready for business and said-

'No wonder you'd never say.''

He was shaking his head at her and an odd sick feeling settled over her- did he know something?

''Juice what are you talking about?''

He glared at her-

''Happy!''

_FUCK HE KNEW!_

Her head fell into her hands as she sat, it'd looked like him just saying the name had tasted bitter to him- ''Oh Jesus Christ Ortiz.''

''He was that fucker from years ago wasnt he! Why am I even asking? Of course he is. No guy could ever get you messed up like he could and the twist is he's one of my brothers! I can't believe I was your _rebound fuck _after he left!''

''How did you find out?''

''Seeing you two practically fucking in your studio was my first clue, I got outta there before he nailed you!''

She was on her feet in an instant, feeling insulted that he'd assumed they'd screwed that morning-

''I've _never _had sex with him!''

''You expect me to fucking believe that? You slept with _me _and you acted pretty casual about it before we did it and afterwards too.''

''You fucking asshole!''

Juice let her words just flow past him he was on a roll and nothing could stop him now-

''So from the sounds of things I'm guessing you handed your pussy to him on a platter and he still said no back in the day? That about right?'' he saw her gulp- ''Thought so! How does it feel to be kicked to the curb by a guy who will fuck anything with enough leg room? Must feel pretty shitty.'' he gloated- ''Well you were just waiting around for him huh? Do you realise thats he'll probably fuck you the first chance he gets and any time you're not there he'll be running through croweaters and porn stars faster than Tig and Koz combined.''

Zoe knew that this was about right, there was no taming a guy like Happy, he'd never take an old lady or have anything steady. It would only ever be casual, no feelings and no ties on his behalf.

''And you'd settle for being his fuck toy for what? One week maybe two? If you're that lacking in self respect, you deserve what he'll do to you. Just dont come crawling to me to console you when he's thrown you to one side because you were fucking warned Princess.''

Juice didnt mean to be so cruel and brutal but she had to see the truth for what it was. Happy was incapable of being attached to anyone or anything, it was how his role in the club had shaped him, his years as a Nomad had made it so he didnt form bonds with people he moved on too quickly for that. Juice just wanted her to see that this could only end badly, she didnt deserve to be used and abused by Happy.

It'd killed him to see the tears pooling in those big green eyes of her, but Zoe often needed tough love to make her see sense, hopefully itd work this time.

Gemma had been in the office at the auto shop, pleased that they were closed so she could catch up on all of the paper work for Monday. From the office nothing much got by her when it came to her boys, she'd been the only one to see Happy go to Zoe's studio that was for sure. The Killer was finally making his move.

Good thing too, her daughter might say she'd never be an old lady to a Son, but that was her future role, Tara couldnt be Queen alone, Zoe was going to be invaluable to Tara in the years to come. Gemma couldnt have her daughter vanishing off on one of her adventures and not coming home again. What better way to clip her wings that to have an old man at the mother charter?

Happy was a tough bastard, he'd never break, never run out on the club, he'd served his time inside for the club, found his home in Charming, so Gemma held him in very high regard for his unwavering loyalty.

Juice was a sweet guy, who clearly loved the bones of her daughter,but he was about a decade away from being ready for an old lady. If he got with Zoe she couldnt say for certain that he wouldnt want to take Zoe away from this life if babies came into the picture, itd be Jax and Tara all over again and that had caused more blood that the club needed.

Happy was a _lifer _and perfect for Zoe and her future at Samcro as queen along side Tara, her daughter in law had married in and that only got her so far, Zoe was born in and had pull that Tara would never have when it came to the other charters old ladies, being the Presidents wife and old lady only took you so far, when the time came Zoe was going to play as big a part as Tara if not bigger.

Across town Tara knew something was _off _that night, she'd finished work at 9pm, come straight home, glad that Neeta was staying over because she couldnt focus on much, she just felt that sick feeling in the pit of her stomach that something was going down and she was going to be needed,

The gun drop had gone from a simple drop to fucking chaos. The meet was at the old shut down gas station off the high way that had been abandoned in the late 80s when the by pass had gone in. Leroy's guys were good to go, so were the Sons, the guns were all there and the money would be exchanged the next day at another location, in theory- same old same old.

That was until a black hummer crashed through the side of the old boarded up side exit. Four heavily armed guys in full bullet proof gear and masks jumped out and snatched the haul.

Tig being the hot head opened fire on the guys and all hell broke loose. Leroy and hid guys went for cover behind the old sales desk as the machine gun fire rang out.

Jax and Happy were circling to shoot out the tyres of the hummer, when one of the masked guys let of a shot which ricocheted off the angled security mirror and into Juice's shoulder. Happy saw Juice hit the floor by the old staff bathrooms and just opened fire a gun in each hand. He hit one but it was too late the fucker was dragged into the back of the hummer by one of his guys and they were off speeding into the night.

Jax was pissed- ''Tig, Ope after them, I'll get Tara to the club house for Juice.''

Happy now had a billion questions about this fuck up mainly- _why had juice broken cover like he was expecting not to get shot at? _

Something was fucked up here!

Two of Leroy's guys went with Tig and Ope and Jax looked at the leader as Chibs picked Juice up of the Niners and gritted his teeth-

''Who the fuck knew about tonight?''

Leroy went nose to nose with the new Samcro president-

''If there's a rat it aint in my house _son.''_

Jax let the condescending tone slide-

''We'll get them back.''

They got Juice into the van and sent for the prospect to pick up his bike and headed back to the clubhouse awaiting news from Tig and Opie. Jax didnt even want to think about what this fuck up could do to their gun trade, hijacked drops was the kind of heat that had people backing out. If the Irish Kings heard about this they'd lose all trust in him. It was bad enough that he had to be accompanied by Clay to all meets with the Irish pricks, this was just another nail in the coffin. It as way too early in his presidency for this shit to land at his door.

When Tara got the call from Jax , the explanation to her anxiety was delivered, just when things looked to be calming down too. She grabbed her kit, a fresh set of scrubs and jumped into her car, having no clue what she was walking into.

Thirty minutes later, assisted by Chibs she was digging a bullet out of Juice's shoulder. With her needle nose tweezers and a tiny pair of forceps she picked the bullet out and it wasnt like one she'd ever seen before-

''Jax?''

Jax stepped closer seeing his wife's concern, he looked at the slug and had to take an even closer look, recognising it for what it was-

''Shit.''

They were black tipped armour piercing rounds, the same ones that had been jacked from a police evidence lock up in Oakland last month. Great, someone was getting drop off intel and were packing AKs and armour piercing rounds now, this was serious now!

Gemma had seen that her baby girl was upset when she got home, because she was baking up a storm in the kitchen, there was dough rising in the laundry room closet and a pile of dough on the work top getting beaten to shit.

So, once she'd gotten it all baked Gemma parked Zoe on the sofa with one of her bags of medical marijuana, a bottle of red wine and Gemma's own chill out essential- Motown records.

Zoe knew that her ma was going to question her, she just didnt know when she'd strike, so she just laid back on the couch as he ma chilled on the recliner smoking too.

''You hooking up with Happy?''

And so it begins.

''Jesus not you too.'' she sighed exhaling a lung full of smoke.

''Who else knows?''

''Juice, he already said I was on a collision course for a fuck and flee situation.''

Gemma drew on her joint and held the smoke as the soothing tones of Smokey Robinson filled the moments of silence in the dimly lit room until she exhaled. God damn Juice, he was about as subtle as a slut on a pool table going commando. That guy really was taking a hatchet to any chances he'd ever had at being with Zoe. At this rate he'd be lucky to have a friendship still standing after that little speech.

''He's jealous baby, had you all to himself for a long time now, you're like an old married couple when you live together.''

Zoe chuckled- ''I didnt see it like that.''

''Everyone else did.''

''Fuck.'' Zoe thought about it..._old married couple?- _''Christ you're right- I cooked, cleaned, did his laundry and we slept in separate rooms...fuck I was his sexless stay at home wife!''

Gemma hadnt seen Zoe stoned in a long time and it was pretty funny, she had a very expressive face at the best of times, so stoned- she was all huge eyes and exaggerated expressions and she tended to over analyse everything too.

''So Juice got all righteous on you did he?''

''Big time, fucker basically told me that I'd be used for sex and thrown away once the novelty wore off. He also said not to go running to him _when _it happened. After all the shit I've seen him through too!''

Zoe knew when to shut up even when stoned, after all the dirt she had on Juice could still get him killed. She loved her ma to death, but the woman had survived 40 years at the top for a reason and that reason was- for playing information and people like it was a chess game.

So, Zoe gave her as little to play with as she could, making sure to never ask for permission and and never volunteering dangerous information like she was protecting. Getting payback on Juice wasnt worth costing him his life.

''Ma, I know who Happy is, he'll never change, he is who he is. I'll take what I can get and ride it out until its done.''

''Well enjoy your ride, something tells me that he'll be one you'll never forget.'' Gemma smirked tapping the ash into the glass tray at her side.

Zoe laughed knowing that that was going to be true, when she gave in he was going to make her pay for putting the brakes on today.

She watched her baby girl, baked out of her skull, she needed this clearly, there was a knock at the door and she went to answer it, hoping to god that it wasnt Clay. Just to be safe she got her pistol from her purse, checking through the blinds she saw surprised to see who was stood there.

Opening the door she smirked-

''Come on in Killer, something tells me its not me you're here looking for.''

Happy entered the Queens kitchen, the smell of fresh bread hitting him, reminding him of his own home as a kid, before he was old enough to know about this life. It was a memory of innocence and when his ma was free from cancer and chemotherapy and medication bills. Jolted from his thoughts by Gemma's voice-

''You ok baby?''

''Fine, Juice got shot, Tara's got him patched up.''

''Ok, Zoe's in the lounge you go tell her, I'm off to bed. But be careful she's stoned, gets her all..._tactile.''_

He caught the Queens smirk and she patted his chest. Heading towards the lounge he saw her laid on her back lowering the ashtray to the floor, exhaling one last breath of smoke into the already hazy room- fuck how much had they smoked?

Zoe listened to the beautiful vocals of Smokey as he sang _'I've Made Love to You a Thousand Times'_ softly mumbling the words, wondering if Happy was even capable of _making love? _Fucking- yes he could do that. But _making love? _Not likely, tenderness didnt seem to be art of his nature at all.

Why was she so disappointed by that?

_Because you still love him! _Her foggy brain answered her treacherously.

She didnt know why but she looked to her right and there he was-

''I swear you're part ninja, you just silently pop up in places.''

Turning onto her side, head propped up on her hand looking him over, damn her libido liked what she was seeing, the guy had clearly gotten into something tonight at the drop, he had fresh scrapes on his hands and he hadnt ever looked sexier to her. Even after his fight in the ring, _this _till beat it, seeing him in his cut fresh from the action was a pure shot of lust below the waist.

''So now that you're here, what do you have for me?'' she gave him a soft teasing little smirk.

Happy now understood Gemma's little warning, he'd never seen her stoned and now really wasnt the time to have her alone, giving him _that _look.

''Juice got shot, took one in the shoulder, Tara got him sorted.''

She was instantly worried about Juice, but she knew that she wouldnt be welcome at his bedside any time soon and she didnt want to stress him out on top of everything else-

''As long as he's safe that's good, thanks for telling me. You wanna drink?''

He knew he shouldnt accept, but he found himself nodding anyway, just to find out why she wasnt demanding to be taken to her supposed best friend. Happy watched her head to the kitchen, her body looked so fucking good, especially now that his adrenaline was levelling out after the shooting. The way her long toned legs looked in her black leggings and how her ass looked good enough to _bite. _Damn this girl was killing him!

Zoe brought back his beer and saw the way he was looking at her- yeah he wanted her, but the questions would come first, that she did know for sure, she sat and shot him a smile-

''So, come on and ask me.''

''Ask you what?'' he took his first pull form his beer and saw her smile widen as she chuckled, stoned Zoe was even trickier to handle he guessed.

''You want to know why I'm not running to Juan's side. Well let me tell you- he's a prick, that answer enough for you? No? Ok, how about this- he's a little bit too quick to forget who had his back and forgave him for some real nasty shit, he forgets that friendship cuts both ways!''

Happy took in her words- he'd always had his suspicions about Juice's story regarding Miles being the thief and taking that brick of coke, leading to Miles's death, but Hap had kept silent. Had his suspicions about the retard been right? Has Zoe thought this too? He wasnt going to ask, he'd just keep a closer eyes on the intel officer.

Zoe kept her glazed over eyes on his and he could see that smirk creeping in again, fuck how did he do this? He'd said he'd never fuck her drunk, did stoned count? What the fuck was he thinking?! Her ma was upstairs and that wasnt exactly ideal for all of the things he had planned for that sexy body of hers.

''You gonna talk to me Killer?'' she purred licking her dry lower lip.

He let out a low growl at her action and took a long pull of his beer before setting it down on the marble mantle-

''You're high.''

''That's what generally comes from smoking a bag of green.''

''Get straightened out first.''

She sighed- ''You come with more conditions than a fucking mogwai...you know from The Gremlins.'' still his face remained blank at the movie reference- ''Juice would so have gotten that reference. _Anyway _you were gagging for it this morning.''

He gritted his teeth, he was _still gagging for it now _but he drew the line at nailing her under the influence of anything.

''Not until you're fully sober.''

''Well sorry Miss Priss.'' she giggled.

''You're one step away from being put across my knee and having my belt and the buckle whip the sobriety back into you.''

She laughed liking the sound of that-

''Hap you just read my dirty little mind.''

He got to his feet and had to get out of there or he'd end up fucking her on the couch, once he'd leathered her ass with his belt. He headed to the back door and heard her call-

''I just love watching your hot ass walk away.''

When he got down to his bike after locking the door behind himself he finally exhaled, what the fuck was that?! She was crazy, it took all of his self restraint to get on his bike and ride off, because he was so close to going back to that house and whipping her kinky little ass and fucking her until she couldnt walk.

Now he really needed a strong drink!

**AN: hi I hope you liked this chapter as much as I liked writing it. I had to included Happy's suspicions about Juice being the rat, after all we saw the looks he gave juice in series 4 ;)**

**stoned Zoe is a freaking predator lol watch out Happy.**

**So let me know what you think.**

**R&R please xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: thank you all so much for the amazing reviews and all of the new follows and favourites, sorry for the gaps between updates but my job isnt a regular 9 to 5 one its permanent night shifts and long hours so hang in there because I've got the week off now so I'll be updating more often.**

**Cheers my dears for all of your kind words and all of the support.**

**I only own my ocs.**

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 7

(Wayne Unser)

_sometimes when you're up to your neck in your troubles, you can't rely on just yourself to solve them. You have to swallow your pride and ask someone a little bit battle worn, yet still of sound mind and maybe less so of body, to cast a knowing eyes over said- troubles and give you a few answers that only come with years of wisdom and hard gained knowledge._

Zoe kept getting flashes of what a maniac she'd been with Happy the night before, could she have looked any more like a _psychotic croweater? _She ran her fingers through her natural curls to loosen them up, the Shirley Temple look was not one she wanted to rock that day.

Had she really called Happy a _stud _while telling him she liked watching his hot ass walk away?! Fuck, loving that guy wasnt worth _this _kind of mortification. A realisation had hit her as she'd laid in bed- one that made her realise that she wasnt willing to be just another meaningless lay to Happy. If he didnt care, she wasnt going to give him any. Unlike what Juice has said, she _did _have self respect.

She needed the sage wisdom from a clued up person who's keep a lid on it too and she knew the exact person to go to- JT senior, her grandpa aka- pops. Pops was as old as the hills but nothing was getting his down or keeping him from living his life to the full. There was always a dress code for her when she went to visit him- always a dress and nice heels, ink was to be covered up and this was all topped off with a batch of something freshly baked.

Zoe looked in the mirror, Jesus she looked like a Stepford Wife in her powder blue cotton dress that was fitted in the body, white trimmed halter neck, with buttons down to her waist and a slightly flared skirt which stopped a couple of inches above her knees. She topped of the prim look with a pair of nude heels and some perfume, she hadnt looked this feminine since she'd been a bridesmaid with Tara for Lyla and Opie's wedding.

She checked her liquid liner flicks were even and then she was ready to head out, damn her throat was sore from all the weed she'd smoked, her voice was slightly husky too, hopefully it wasnt too noticeable.

Jax stood in the kitchen with Tig talking to Gemma, when Zoe entered and Jax started chuckling-

''Wow, its Zoe in Wonderland.''

Gemma smirked- ''Honey you look like Donna Reid.''

She rolled her green eyes- ''Hilarious but you know what pops is like about dressing like a lady.''

Gemma nodding knowing that JT senior was all about ladies looking like ladies, he'd hated how Gemma was always dressed. In pops eyes the biker queen look was trashy and he had no qualms about telling her so _to her face._

Tig grinned as her- ''Very Audrey Hepburn doll.''

''You actually know who she is?'' Zoe couldnt even begin to hide her shock.

''An unfortunate mix up while buying porn, lets just say my copy of _'Breakfast In Tiffany' _still never came- no pun intended.'' he winked.

''Gross Tigger.'' she shoved him playfully heading over to the bread bin to wrap up a loaf of her fresh bread, noticing that Jax had eaten half of the crusty white loaf she'd been hoping to keep-

''Tara not feeding you at home now?''

''She cant bake for shit.'' he laughed.

Zoe laughed securing the brown paper around the intact loaf for pops- ''Ooh you're smack talking the mother of your children, you're a brave fool Jackson Teller.''

''Then dont tell her, Tellers stick together.'' he beamed her that winning smile that had helped him get away with everything in his teens and twenties.

''She'd shoot me just for being the messenger, handle your own shit. Anyway I'm outta here.''

she kissed them all goodbye, got into her car threw on her shades and hit the road.

Gemma saw Tig cock a brow- ''Not one question about Juice?''

''That guy mat have burnt his bridges with her.'' Gemma said refilling their coffee cups.

Tig sighed- ''Thanks Gem, but they're like a pair of fucking teenagers.''

''Tell me about it, so how is the little retard?''

''Knee deep in croweater sympathy.'' Jax smiled.

Gemma shook her head, boys will be boys even with bullet wounds and blood loss, pussy was a universal language when it came to recovery.

''Ma we might need to talk to Zo about this Juice thing, its messing with his head and he's getting a little dangerous to be on jobs with.'' Jax said not wanting to give too many details away.

Tig had to agree with his pres, Juice had walked into the shot he'd taken in the shoulder, even Stevie Wonder could have dodged it easily. There was a fine line between brave and fucked in the head. He'd seen that line crossed many times during his years as a marine, guys so fucked up by what they'd seen and done, it changed them beyond understanding.

Gradually they'd go from being your comrades, to being another person who could get _you _killed along side themselves. Then you'd seen as much death as he had, it no longer scared you, you didnt run from it any more, you charged right up to the bastard and you taunted him. You dared that fucker to either take you out next or get the hell out of your way.

If that feeling had taken Juice, he could take it one of the two ways- he could let it suck him down and take his life, or he could stare death down and the the strongest version of himself and go down in a blaze of glory 40 years from now having no fear of the end.

In Tig's own head he'd personally gone for the second option after his days in uniform, it was going to be a blaze of glory all the way for him when the time did come. Trager's didnt go out quietly, there was no passing away quietly in your bed, oh no, his family was full of dramatic deaths. His own father had been killed in a convenience store robbery, he'd had his head blown off with a shot gun just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, they'd had to identify him by his hands and his ink.

His grandfather had been killed out in a corn filed in Nebraska from a farming accident, they'd found pieces of his all over that partially harvested corn crop.

So, it was in his blood to go out with a fucking huge bang, plenty of drama and gore. He just wondered if Juice was man enough to life take its course instead of rushing the thing along.

Zoe pulled her car into the parking lot of the retirement community just after 11am. This place looked more like an up scale country club than a home, but given the cost it ought to. This was yet another string to her philanthropic bow, not only did she keep the former chief of police off the streets, but she kept pops in a good standard of care too. There was more than one reason that she worked like crazy and spent next to nothing- she had people relying on her to survive.

JT senior lived in one of the bungalows to the side of the main building, his carers and his nurse visited his several times a day and he still got his privacy. They bungalows were set out in a little cul-de-sac, the residents were all fully mobile and the family of well off people, his neighbour was none other than Elliot Oswald's aunt Sylvia. So it was well funded and very well maintained.

Zoe spotted her pops in his garden tending to his prize winning sun flowers-

''Hey pops.'' she smiled as she opened the white gate.

He set his watering can aside and went to his beloved grand daughter, she looked as gorgeous as ever and he couldnt be prouder of her if he'd tried.

''Hey sugar so good to see you.''

he looked great, her dad had been the double of him and in her heart it was like still having a part of her father alive and with her. He had the same green eyes and same shape face and he used to sound exactly like JT too, but pops love of cigars had gruffed up his voice a little more over the years. But the Teller magic was still very much alive inside this man.

''I baked the bread again.''

''so I see, dare I ask who got you mad enough to get you baking this time?'' he teased knowing there was more to her visit than her smile was letting on- ''Guess its sandwiches for lunch today.''

They went inside and he knew to wait it out because like every Teller for generation she wouldnt be rushed when it came to what was on her mind.

Zoe loved this little house, it was totally _him _he had his Chuck Berry vinyl, his shelves of his books, his army pictures and medals and his writing awards. Then there was his family pictures lined up along the mantle, in the centre was her two graduation pictures- high school and college. All the pictured were minus Gemma, he'd been no fan of her ma, pops had been sure that she'd be the death of John and he hadnt been too far wrong.

The walls were painted a deep cream and there was always a lingering scent of cigars and cookies in the air, it was so comforting, especially when you'd curl up in the corner of his cosy couch that would just let you sink into it as you watched the sun set over the hills out of the lounge window when evening rolled around. Bliss.

Heading back into the kitchen she spotted the huge red tomatoes in the sink being rinsed-

''Wow Gloria really upped her game this year with those.''

''Won the ribbon at the fruit and veg show for the third year in a row.''

''How's she doing now?''

''Fit as a fiddle once again, nothing much keeps that woman down she's tough as hell.''

Pops waited it out a little longer.

''Pops can I ask you something?''

_finally!_

''Sure you can sugar.''

''Ok...well say that there was this girl and this real jerk of a guy...ok I know this guy- he's tough, rude and..cute as hell, I feel like that dumb girl you always yell at in films and in books for being a fool for the guy and not being strong.'' she took a pause, then was off again- ''I dont like who I am around him, I go into complete teenage doormat bimbo mode.''

Pops laughed setting his sandwich prep aside and dried his hands, leaning his old back against the sink-

''Sounds like you like the guy, so does he like you back?''

''Not a clue, he keeps an eyes on me when he's around...but I think he's just after one thing.''

''so is every man walking this earth, but all you need to figure out is if he's worth taking the risk for, because you might be writing him off to soon. If he's in the club he wont have the first clue what to do with a girl like you, apart from act like its all about _one thing. _Sugar thats how bikers think they have to act around women, they forget that some girls in the real world want more than testosterone in a leather cut. So you might have to dig a little deeper with him if you really like him.''

Zoe took in pops advice and thought about it, hmm maybe he was on to something there, stirring her from her revelry he said-

''Be a doll for me and take those sun flowers over to Gloria, never managed to take them earlier, I owe her for the tomatoes.''

She saw the big yellow blooms tied with a length of strong and nodded-

''back in a second.''

Gloria was in the bi-weekly art class that Zoe ran at the home and she was a feisty, funny woman who always inquired about Zoe's love life and always managed to slip into the conversation about her unmarried single attractive son, whom Zoe had no interest in meeting never mind being set up with. But Gloria was one of life's great triers.

She was barely through the gate when Gloria's red front door opened as she was about to smile, her face fell down to her nice shoes- WHAT THE FUCK!?

Happy couldnt believe his fucking eyes, he'd come outside for a smoke and there _she _was! Did she have no sense of self preservation and boundaries?

Zoe could see the rage in his dark eyes and she was frozen to the spot, honestly scared that he was going to hurt her, the _Killer _side of Happy was in the drivers seat now and mercy wasnt going to be an option.

He stalked up to her and grabbed her by her upper arms and knocked the sunflowers from her arms by giving her an overly firm, teeth rattling shake, his face right in hers-

''What the fuck are you doing here!?''

His grip was excruciating, his tone was murderous and yet her chance to speak was cut off by his shaking her again.

''Not a smart move coming here you stupid little bitch.''

He began walking her back through the gate, still face to face with her, the flowers she'd been carrying getting trampled under his heavy boots. She felt her ankle twist again, fuck, what was with this guy man handling her and dragging her around like a rag doll when she was in heels!

Pops was the scene from his kitchen window and knew when to step in, he snatched up his sturdy walking stick he only needed it during the cooler months and then he was off out the door.

Behind them neither of them heard Gloria coming outside to see what the commotion was all about-

''Happy?''

He clenched his jaw, not looking back-

''Go back inside ma.''

Ma?! Happy was Gloria's son? Jesus this was just too fucking weird now.

''Not on your life son, who's down there with you?'' she was coming down the path now, just as pops was too, only pops was faster on his feet.

Before Happy could remove his hands from Zoe, his left leg was knocked out from under him, taking him down to one knee.

''Get your hands off my grand daughter you tall streak of piss, you should know how to treat a lady in this day and age sonny boy!'' pops glared.

Gloria was surprised to see Zoe there and to see the vivid marks on her upper arms too from her son-

''Zoe honey are you ok?'' she gently rubbed the girls still shaking arms.

''I'm fine Gloria I promise.''

the older woman glared at her son who was now back on his feet-

''Explain this and make it count son.''

''_She _shouldnt be here!''

That got Zoe's back up- ''Why not? My grandpa sent me over with flowers as a thank you for the tomatoes, I'm not stalking _you, _you ego-maniacal jack ass!''

Gloria's dark eyes went wide, _nobody _had ever talked to Happy like that, let alone a woman, how on earth did they know each other?

Happy growled at the insolent girl, wanting to put her across his knee and belt her butt just like he'd promised her he'd do so recently.

Pops looked between the seething pair-

''Sugar how do you know Gloria's son?''

''He's a Son, Samcro to be exact.''

He wasnt wearing his cut, he never did when he came to the home, it scared the staff and the residents and he didnt want his ma treat any different from anyone else there.

''You know the Sons of Anarchy?'' Gloria frowned a little bit confused at how this lovely young woman knew about a biker club of al things.

''My older brother is the Sons President and _your sons president,_and my late father was one of the nine founding members.'' she said not looking at Happy_, _feeling far too embarrassed by this whole scene.

Gloria turned to Happy-

''_This _is how you treat your presidents sister? I raised you better than this.''she sighed and looked at the flushed young woman in front of her- ''Why dont you and JT come for lunch, we can sort all of this out then, what do you say?''

Before Zoe had a chance to refuse and make her speedy get away pops was accepting on her behalf and saying that he'd bring the sandwiches. Pops was no fool he'd seen the way this 'Happy' guy was looking at his Zoe, he _liked her! _Hmm, maybe this was the guy she was talking about in the kitchen?

When Gloria got Happy inside she gave him that stern glare that he'd inherited from her and her hands went to her slender hips-

''Is that how I raised you to act? How to treat young wonder? No wonder she yelled at you.''

''I never hurt her.''

''She'll have bruises that'll say other wise.''

''Ma, its complicated.''

''Complicated? Dont give me that rubbish, I've seen _complicated _from you, like when you were thrown in juvie at 16 for fighting at school. Then at 22 when you got thrown inside for your club for the first time for 8 months. Then the second time for 14 months. I keep losing you to the state Happy and it'll be your third strike if you hurt her badly and then it'll be life, now tell me whats going on with you.''

Jesus this was worse than being a teenager, he didnt remember ever getting grilled about girls, all she'd said when he was a kid was basically dont get any bitch knocked up and you'll never have any issues.

''Ma I'm 38 I dont need a lecture.''

''Then _dont _lay your hands on that girl. Do you have any idea how much she does for this place? Do you? She keeps us old folks entertained, she does the art class, she organises the _outings_ and she pays for all of her pops bills and medications. Son she's one of the good ones and _you _should treat her accordingly not with disrespect, you'll make this right.''

No room for argument there, Happy loved his ma and would do anything for her, but _apologising _wasnt his forte at all.

Zoe was cursing her pops for his acceptance of the invitation as they stood on Gloria's porch, a plate of sandwiches and a Tupperware box of home made cookies in hand. It was like TWISTED David Lynch inspired dream that she could wake up from, Christ she was in her own version of 'Blue Velvet' hell she was already dressed like Laura Dern!

Happy was rubbing the back of his aching knee, that old guy had a hell of a swing on him for someone pushing his mid 80s. From what his ma had said he was John Tellers father- JT senior. Retired army veteran and _writer. _It seemed that like it or not, Zoe Teller was going to be a part of his life in one way or another and his ma had known her for going on 18 months.

They were pretty soon all sat around the white wooden table on the porch, drinking home made ice tea and eating sandwiches and salad, chatting...well Happy was dead silent, not moving simply _enduring._

When his ma went to get a refill for the ice tea jug, Zoe stopped her-

''Let me.''

''Thanks sugar, Happy go show her to the kitchen.''

Gritting his teeth he complied just to get away from his ma's glare, fuck now he looked like a whipped momma's boy, jumping to do her bidding, this was fucked right up!

Zoe could have let the front door slam in his face but she currently was the only one between the pair of them being an adult, so she held the door for him, which he thankfully acknowledged with a nod. Gloria's house was laid out the mirror opposite way to pops place, so she could have found her way easily enough. He lead her to the kitchen and just pointed to the fridge, while leaning against the stove.

This guy! This fucking guy!

She took the fresh jug if ice tea from the fridge and rinsed the empty one setting it on the drainer, she looked around for a tea towel to dry her hands with and saw one being held out for her by Happy-

''Thank you.''

As she dried her hands he could see her slender but toned upper arms were already bruising, fuck could he feel any more like a bastard?

''I didnt know my ma knew you.''

''Well I didnt know that you were her son, I wasnt here trying to get any dirt on you or to try and force my way into your life. I get it you're a private guy, so rest assured after today I'm _out. _No kissing, no flirting, no nothing.''

she was out?

''So now you have to take back what you said.'' he said in that gravelled tone of his, it really kicked in when he lowered his voice to something barely above a whisper.

Frowning- ''Take what back?''

''You said that you weren't a game player. Running away when shit gets too crazy for you, that sounds like game playing to me.''

How dare he!

''Sorry to break it to you, but I dont want to be someone's secret hook up, I thought that I could do it, I _hoped _that I could but I lost my best friend for just considering it. So, if you want to call it game playing- fine, but I think I'm saving myself a lot of trouble. I dont want to be any guys dirty little secret, I want more than that and you're probably the last guy in our world that can give me that.''

Happy saw something as she walked out of the kitchen with the ice tea, he saw that she wanted to be loved. Fuck she _deserved _to be loved, to be a guys whole life, to be his reason for staying alive after every run and every drop and each one of their stretches inside. She was also right about another thing- he really was the last guy in their world who was capable of giving her what she rightly deserved.

But if it was their reality, why didnt it sit right with him? If she ended up with another son- Juice for example- could he sit back and watch her become his old lady? As the resident inker, it's probably be _his _duty to put Juice's crow tattoo on to Zoe, now that'd be a fucked up twist of fate.

It still pissed him off that he'd never gotten to do any of Zoe's ink, she went to three Nomads for all of her ink. One of them was Kian, the Nomad he'd stepped into the ring with at his patch in party. The guy had a real gift for inking he did some of the best free hand work he'd ever seen in his life. Kian was one of three identical triplets- all three were Nomad and worked jobs together all over the country, those three crazy British bastards were on a whole other level when it came to _removing _obstacles.

As usual Zoe showed no fear of the ''Trio'' she was like their baby sister and they'd inked her lower back with her colourful display of of stars, flowers and lines of poetry. Happy would never admit it to anyone how much it bothered him that their ink work was in her skin rather than his own, she was the only person who'd _never _asked him to work on them.

Even Gemma had some of his work up her inner forearm, Tara had her boys names on her ankle, but not Zoe, her skin was untouched by his in yet another way he badly wanted to rectify.

Gloria had listened carefully to JT's words about Happy and Zoe having chemistry and had to admit that he could be on to something there.

''Gloria the closest thing she has to a man in her life is that Rican nerd she loves with, with his crazy ass hair cut and goofy smile.''

''Well this is the closest thing I've ever had to Happy bringing a girl home for me to meet.''

Zoe came back outside with the jug of ice tea, her head in a cloud of deep thought, wishing against her better judgement that Happy was the relationship type, but wishes were for fairy tales and her life was currently a David Lynch movie with shades of Kubrick and a dash of Hitchcock just for good measure. Christ at this rate she was going to owe Juice the apology of a life time for him being bang on the money with his correct observations.

He'd been right about Happy, he was all about the quick and easy women, she just hadnt wanted to hear it. She was jolted out of her had fuck by his mom's gentle hand on her arm-

''You ok sugar?''

''Oh yes I'm fine thanks.''

Gloria didnt buy it for a second, this girls face couldnt hide much, she leaned closer and said-

''Dont let Happy get to you, he's a pain in the ass, but there's good intentions under it every time.''

Zoe wanted to believe this, but when it came to her, Happy was more likely to get angry rather than be nice, well _his version of nice. _Having feelings for this guy really blew the big one, she should have just stayed in her studio, with the door locked, life had been so much simpler when she was a recluse.

Gloria saw the way Happy looked at the young woman when he'd exited the house, oh yes her son had _finally let a girl catch his eye, _ok it probably wasnt by choice, but it was there.

He stood against the porch railing,lighting a cigarette, only then did he register what Zoe was actually wearing, she was dressed so lady like, never once had he seen her in anything like this, ok he'd seen her in that pretty slutty dress that Gemma had picked out for her but this was all new to him. It actually suited her. He knew enough about her to know that she was sad about something, had he really been that much of a prick to her?

If so why did he even give a fuck? But he did.

Cursing himself for thinking it, because he hated knowing that he _really did care about Zoe. _God damn Jax and his monogamy, it was like an air born affliction, it was fucking catching like bird flu or glandular fever.

When it came time for Zoe to leave Bakersfield she ended up having that awkward as hell walk back to the parking lot beside Happy, neither of them speaking to the other. His bike was parked just down from her car, so she kept her back to him as she got her car keys from her purse, not wanting to slip out an even more awkward attempt at a goodbye.

She felt the touch on her upper arm and her ingrained instinct was to go for her gun.

Happy saw the gun and was impressed-

''Just me girl you can put the piece away.''

''Christ Hap, you need to start whistling or something.'' she exhaled putting the gun back into her purse.

His fingers once again traced the bruises on one of her upper arms, making her shudder, god damn her bodies response to him, you really couldnt fight chemistry.

''This wasnt supposed to happen, does it hurt?''

Looking up into his dark eyes she nodded-

''Being grabbed and shook generally hurts Hap.''

To her surprise his touch stayed gentle, what was he doing? Or trying to do? Where was his hand going now?

His palm cupped her cheek, his thumb tracing her high cheek bone and he just thought- _fuck it- _ and he kissed her.

Zoe froze at first. Expecting one of his _rough_, intense kisses but instead it was slow, like he had all the time in the world. He was possibly even more devastating like this, because it was so unexpected and strangely beautiful too. She raised one hand hesitantly caressing his smooth cheek and sliding to the back of his neck.

Happy liked her touching him, liked taking his time, this girl was nobodies dirty little secret, least of all his. He stopped kissing her, held her chin between two of his work calloused fingers and said quietly-

''No secrets, no games, no empty promises, you understand me?''

''Clarify it please.'' she whispered.

''You're with me, nobody else and I respect the rules.''

The Rules stated that he wouldnt screw around in Charming- this worked for her. But on a run he was a free man- she'd deal with that when it happened.

She gave him a nod-

''Ok...lets.. lets see what this is.''

satisfied that he hadnt made a complete dick out of himself he sighed-

''One question.''

''go ahead.'' she urged,

''How the fuck did you get me ma on your side? She hates anyone under 40 who's female.''

''She likes me because I'm awesome.'' she grinned., seeing him fighting a grin- ''Holy shit does that make your face ache?''

Happy glared at her- ''Dont tease me little girl. Why the hell are you dressed like Dita Von Teese?''

''Its as conservative as I can get and pops likes me to look like a lady, he thinks the biker girl look is cheap, why do you think he hates my ma?''

''Brave guy hating Gemma.''

''Nothing scares pops he's seen it all in his life time, look sat today he nearly knee capped you, the man has no fear.''

He touched her soft curls and sighed-

''Gemma inquisition time huh?''

''Probably but fuck it, we dont have to tell anyone if you want to keep things between us two.''

Hap shook his head- ''No secrets remember? I dont hide shit, I also dont give a fuck what people think, not even your ma.''

Zoe had no idea what the next move was, but apparently she was now _dating _this guy and it was going to be out in the open, fuck the pressure was going to be on. Dating a Son was a big deal, the croweaters were going to be livid, Happy was one of their favourites for a reason. It was going to be a lot more interesting at club parties from now on if she'd taken away one of their prized pieces of rough stuff. She couldnt wait to put those bitches in their places.

**AN: hi I hope you liked it. The triplets I mentioned are my cousins in real life they are tattoo artists and yes they are identical triplets and totally nuts lol. They have featured in my past stories and they are addicted to SOA just like me so they wanted cameos as Nomads- wish granted dudes ;)**

**so drop me a review and let me know what you think, cheers my dears xx**

**R&R xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: hi there thank you all so so much for all of the wonderful reviews and adding me to your fave lists too. I love hearing from all of you so keep them coming my dears. I hope you like what I've got in store for you, with Zoe and the gang, so lets get the show on the road shall we...**

**R&R please**

**I only own my ocs.**

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 8

(Tig)

_You can play at being ''normal'' and get people to even start believing it, but you know who you are on the inside, you're a fucking freak. I'm holding my hands up and saying- yes I'm one of the many. But, its the most ''normal'' looking people who are the best actors of the lot, they're so god damn good at acting they even fool themselves at times, but when the acting stops, its just fucking beautiful chaos..then again the truth usually is in its own very fucked up way._

Zoe got home from Bakersfield to find the house totally empty, thankfully because she knew that her expression was hardly a normal one, it was pure shell shock. Getting changed out of her lady like outfit was a must.

Once she was in her skinny jeans and tank top she called Kelly-

''Hey Zo how you doing?''

''Hey you, I'm strange.''

''Well yes, but we call it _eccentric _ these days as not to offend, it sounds less judgemental.'' Kelly teased.

''Either way, something happened with Happy.''

''Oh my god, let me sit down first.'' Kelly paused- ''Ok I'm sitting now I'm prepared, go for it.''

''Since we last spoke...well we've kissed a couple of times and had a couple of run ins, then it just kinda _happened.''_

''You fucked him!''

''NO!He just surprised me earlier today at pops place, his ma is pops neighbour Gloria foe a start, we all end up having the most uncomfortable lunch I've ever had, way worse than that one where Wendy showed up stoned to fuck. Then I had this mini melt down where I refused to be anyone's secret fuck toy and that included him. Next thing is when I'm by my car and he's there kissing me.''

''What kind of kiss?''

''Soft, slow and a real panty melter.''

''Oh my fuck! The Killer is totally into you.''

''Well he said that I'm with him and nobody else, then hear this- he said he'd respect the rules, so that means no croweaters in Charming.''

Kelly was in shock, Zoe had done the unthinkable-

''Babe you've just caught and caged big foot!''

''What are you talking about?'' Zoe giggled.

''You've pinned down the uncatchable catch, dating a guy like Happy is urban club myth material. Face it Zo you just caught and caged big foot. Man are those sluts gonna hate you now.''

''Yes I'm gonna be public enemy number one. We havent had a croweater duke out since Tara and Jax got back together, Lyla didnt catch much heat, Opie wasnt much of a player, but _Tara- _whoa shit momma!''

Kelly grinned- ''Tara was amazing she quite literally took out the trash.''

The girls both laughed at the memory of Tara in her work scrubs kicking the croweaters ass from one side of the lot to the other for feeling up Jax. Tara had literally picked the skinny raven haired bitch up and pitched her head first into the dumpster and shut the lid on her.

''I told you she'd benefit from that kick boxing class we did at the community centre.'' Zoe nodded.

''She cock blocked your bro for life that night.''

''Damn right, proud as hell of her too, he was a total slut when she left, that shit needed to be finally laid to rest once and for all and Miss Tara did it with style.''

''Mission accomplished Teller.''

Zoe sighed- ''Christ every blonde croweater in Charming is going to be out to get me, how do I school myself not to care?''

''You make an example of _one _of them remember your ma and that skateboard to Cherry's face? You need to show the others what they'll get if they try to fuck with your man.''

''My man..Jesus it took me 13 years to be able to call him that, my man- damn that sounds good.''

''Zo I want details- _dirty details- _when you two do the nasty.''

''Details?''

''Purely for research.'' Kelly promised- ''Just think, he might steal Juice's crown as your _best ever.''_

That got Zoe chuckling- ''Can you imagine what he's in to.''

''same shit as you, you kinky little minx.''

''There's nothing wrong with fucking outside the box sweetheart.'' Zoe purred.

''Amen to that Teller, at least you wont have to hold back with a guy like Happy, something tells me he'll let you get as dirty and fucked up as you like.''

''Music to my ears.''

''Guess you can finally unpack all of your latex gear and give him a kinky night he'll never forget.'' Kelly wanted Zoe to finally find a guy to accept the freak side of her personality.

Zoe's love of kink and dress up was their secret, only one of her ex's had been ok with it and since their break up all of her latex and dress up kink wear had been powdered to stop it perishing and packed up and left in its air tight storage bags.

''I bet he's hung too.'' Kelly couldnt resist saying to make her friend laugh.

Zoe had heard the croweaters gossiping about him enough over the years and its killed her to hear it all but gossip said that he was hung like a horse-

''The Ho-bag rumour mill seems to agree with you there.''

''Lube up thats all I'm saying.''

''Kelly! Something tells me that I'll be just fine in that area,''

''yeah 13 years of waiting would get me ''Just fine'' too, that bed will be like a fucking Slip N' Slide, he'll have to tie you to the bed just to get inside.''

Zoe couldnt stop laughing- ''You are insane and I love you for it.''

''Always glad to be of service and I'm serious when you finally give into Happy the Wonder Cock, I want quite literally all the _fucking _details, I need my movies to be based on real stuff it keeps the heat real.''

''Kelly I think you need to get laid.''

''I know, but I'm a living punch line, I'm proof that even some people cant get laid in a porn studio. -I need sex and badly.''

''I've got one word for you Delaney- _Kozik.''_

''Oh no way!''

''Why not?he's going to be in Charming for a while and you can't deny that he's hot as hell.''

''Zo, he got my V plates off, its be too weird to go back for seconds.''

''No it wouldnt be, he'd hot, funny and you still find him attractive, its paint by numbers sweetheart.''

''I'll think about it, but the whole da-ja Fuck thing might out me off, as I'm still not 100% if he remembers us hooking up, he was pretty drunk and I did bail on him when he fell asleep.''

''Oh I remember, you ended up in Jax's dorm with me, I was brooding over Hap boning Emily Duncan.''

It all came back to Kelly, it was the last party before they both left for UCLA at 18, Zoe had been pissed off big time and Kelly had been on a mission to lose the big V to a hot guy before college- mission accomplished there.

''I'll make you a deal Delaney, either of us hooks up, we dish the dirt to the other, add my story to your porno and I'll put your into a painting, deal?''

''Deal, ahh the things we do to keep the arts alive and kicking.''

''We're just slaves to our jobs.'' Zoe agreed sliding on her ankle boots, getting ready to do some work in her studio.

At the clubhouse Jax had called church, even Juice had to be present in his bandaged up pain killer fuelled state had to be there.

''Got word back from Unser, he'd made some inquiries to some of his old friends in Oakland P.D, those bullets were seized from a bust 6 months ago with our old friends Lobo. But someone had some real intel, they broke into the lock up at the P.D and knew exactly what to take, they even knew where to get it quick they were in and out in under 15 minutes.''

Tig frowned- ''They took only bullets? That place is a fucking arsenal ready to be picked clean, why didnt they take the seized guns?''

''Because someone knew what was in our drop off. Also O-Town P.D are still trying to figure out how the bastards got into their computer system. The fuckers knew _serial codes _ for the crates, because they took the black tips- the armour piercing rounds and left the shit behind.'' Jax sighed, knowing that they were in the middle of something big.

Juice leaned forward the best he could- ''Someone hacked their way in? I could take a look, O-Town aren't exactly Microsoft when it comes to security.''

Happy was silently watching their intel officer and wondered if this guy was playing this straight or going back in to cover his tracks. Hacking was Juice's speciality, he knew it as well as Happy knew torture, it got the adrenaline and the imagination working together for new ways to gather information to benefit the club. Only Hap had never ratted on the club or killed another brother in the process.

Fuck how much did Zoe know? She'd never have been in on it, the club was a part of her fathers legacy, she'd never piss on it with a betrayal like that, but she was Juice's friend, his confidant, she'd _know _if he'd fucked up. It'd have come out after the deed, when the guilt was killing Juice and the murder of another brother didnt just fall away, that was blood you didnt ever wash your hands clean of.

When they got out of church Hap headed outside for a smoke and Jax joined him, the president was a great match for the club, a thinker, who played intel carefully, exactly what they needed for the club after the crooked ways of Clay's leadership.

''How's your ma doing?'' Jax asked innocently.

''Real good, meds are working, back to her old self.'' he nodded.

Jax had briefly met Hap's ma when they'd hidden some merchandise at her old house when Haps aunt had been alive, his ma was a feisty one, you could see where the guy got a lot of his traits from.

''Gotta be straight with you, met your pops today, he's ma's neighbour.''

Jax couldnt help but chuckled- ''Small world.''

''he always carry that stick?''

Jax saw Hap's brow arch and it clicked- _the walking stick-_

''Only when he's pissed off.''

''Figured.'' his knee still felt stiff thanks to that old dude.

''Hit you huh?''

Hap nodded.

''Pops is a tough old bastard, especially when it comes to my sister.''

Happy could sense the smirk from the younger guy, but he said nothing, just carried on smoking, waiting for him to elaborate.

''She's a grown woman, pops and ma forget that sometimes, if she's safe I'm fine and leave her to it, no matter what it is.''

Happy looked to his president and nodded once and said-

''She's safe, nothings gonna happen to her.''

It wasnt in Hap's nature to ask for permission or approval, so people either got on board or they back the fuck off and shut the hell up of paid the price.

Jax liked Hap, he was a scary bastard but you got no bullshit from him, if he was Zoe's man, then his sister was safe and she'd come to harm from anyone-

''I trust you with her.''

He patted the former Nomads shoulder and earned a rough-

''Good.'' and nothing more. He ground out his cigarette and then heard the rumble of his sisters Mustang engine pulling into the lot.

Hap watched her park up and cut the engine, just in time for Juice to exit the clubhouse looking truly frustrated, his shoulder bandages visible from beneath the hem of his black t-shirt. He saw the younger Son spot Zoe across the way.

Zoe saw Juice stood there looking at her, did she head over? Did she ignore him? Seeing him all bandaged up, made her want to go over and hug him and make sure that he really was ok, because he looked so young and sweet. Just like that gelled haired goofy prospect he'd been back in the day, before the mohawk had landed, when he'd shown up there on his old beat up bike.

Ok, he was heading towards her, so she got her ass in gear and in motion and went to meet him half way to face whatever was coming. Before she could think he was right in front of her asking one thing-

''Swings?''

It brought an instant smile to her face.

''Swings.'' she agreed.

Jax saw Hap's hard face change to one of complete confusion-

''Couldn't even begin to explain that friendship, guess you'll have to figure that one out alone, good luck.''

The pres took his leave ans he watched the pair take a swing each.

''Juice?''

His brown eyes met her green ones- ''Yeah?''

''Some bastard shot you huh?''

''Hurts like a bitch but I'll live...I kinda lost it with you didnt I?''

She cleared her throat- ''Yeah but you got me thinking too, about what I'm willing to settle for and I told him that I want more than that and that he's the last guy in this club who can give me that.''

Juice felt...relieved to hear that, the thought of her being with Happy as the guys short term stress relief tore at his insides viciously-

''So, now what?''

''Well, after my speech, you could say that I had the tables turned on me.''

He didnt like they way this was starting to sound at all-

''What happened?''

Zoe knew he was going to explode when he found out, but Happy had said _no secrets _and she couldnt lie to Juice now only to have him find out the truth later, that wasnt how she did things-

''We're together now, I'm with Happy.''

His shoulder began to throb painfully, then he realised why- he was gripping the chain handles so tightly his whole arm was flexed and his stitches were tearing beneath the dressings but he didnt give a shit right then. The pain was his focus, if it didnt keep coming he was going to end up showing a side of himself that he'd never unleashed around her.

Zoe didnt know how to take his silence at first and was about to speak but he beat her to it-

''make sure that he treats you right ok? Because you deserve the best from a guy.''

The words may have fallen from his mouth in a clumsy rush but hearing them come from Juice was what counted. She reached over and took his free hand, lacing her fingers with his-

''Thank you Juan, for just being _you, _dont know what I'd do without you, you're amazing.''

Amazing? If he was so amazing, why did he feel like his whole world was caving in around him? And why did he feel like he was truly losing her? He was holding her hand, yet he couldnt have felt any further away from her if he'd tried.

Happy saw their linked hands and didnt like it one bit, but they'd been friends since she was a id and he was a prospect, he'd been one of the constants in her life, but just how _close _had they gotten over the years? What else were they protecting within their friendship? It didnt take a behaviour expect to see that Juice had feelings for Zoe.

That day it was the little things that people picked up on when Zoe came in for her break from painting, it was the little smile she threw in Hap's direction when she was joking around with Tig while playing pool. It was Hap's hand on her lower back when she brought the guys fresh beers during their poker game. Nobody said anything, but they all saw it happening in front of them.

Gemma was glad when Hap's hand lingered on Zoe, the hard as nails guy had won, she could finally relax a little. Her baby was more likely to stay in Charming now, the sooner Hap slapped a crow on her flight risk of a daughter the better. The club was in a delicate time with Jax being fresh to the gavel, he needed his sister and club needed her too. Gemma knew that she wasnt going to live forever and Zoe's hard bitch blood was going to be called upon eventually to spur the guys on. Zoe was next in line to be club momma, that was her duty as the princess, it was her job alone.

Happy collected his poker winnings and got up from the table, Tig jeered good naturedly-

''Gonna lock your winnings up in your vault. Princess dont expect Hap to flash the cash , he's tighter than a nuns asshole on a cold night.''

''says the man with two pimps on his speed dial.'' Hap smirked, knowing that this was actually true.

''Killer I'm just sharing the love amongst the ladies of the night, I'm just that generous of a guy.'' Tig grinned from ear to ear.

''Just the ladies these days huh?'' Zoe teased, eyes alight with mischief.

''I swear I didnt have a clue that that bitch had a cock until _he _turned around and nearly blacked my eye with it.''

This tale was one of Tig's most notorious ones and he wasnt at all ashamed of it either.

''Poor Tigger nearly ended up cock eyed.'' she grinned making him laugh too.

''Its a good thing I love you Zo.''

''Right back at you Trager.''

She went with Hap up to the bat, he sat on one stool and pulled her between his knees, she could feel eyes on them but her eyes stayed on his not wavering at the heat she saw there, it just made her wonder how much of her he could handle? Was he open minded in every aspect of his life? Would he freak out or welcome her if she rocked up in his bedroom wearing her black latex mini dress, matching stockings and over the elbow gloves?

That thought made her bite back the laughter.

Happy was curious to the source of her sudden amusement-

''You thinking stuff I should know about girl?''

''Maybe.'' she teased.

He lay his hands on her hips and drew her closer to his, her talented hands going to his shoulders.

''Tell me.''

''You want uncensored honesty?''

''All the way.''

she leaned closer and whispered-

''I was just wondering if you'd be cool or freak at my kinky side.''

Happy hadnt been prepared to hear that level of honesty from her-

''You for real?'' he asked in that low husky tone of his he now knew she liked.

''Yes I'm for real. A bit of latex maybe some spanking kind of for real.''

His grip on her tightened, he _loved _being in control in the bedroom, it was just who he was and if she liked kink or fetish wear he was all for it. Latex? Dress up? Role play? He was all for it, it was all god in his book-

''Any time girl.''

That was like music to her ears and she gave him a very pleased grin.

He didnt give a fuck who saw, he pulled her in for a kiss, to him they had nothing to hide, so a kiss was more than acceptable.

They didnt rush things, he didnt intrude on her time in her studio and she didnt crowd him on his time at home either. They were alike in the way that they both needed space away from people, they needed silence, solitude and time to really appreciate the fact that they had survived yet another day and night in their world.

Word made its way around the croweater network and the bitches were just waiting for Friday night to come around. After all the croweaters figured they knew Happy and his tastes, no way would a guy like him ever be tied down to just one woman, not even the Princess Crow. One tiny dress and the right amount of alcohol and Happy would be free and _theirs _again.

Zoe wasnt dumb it was _the _night, she knew that she had to really pull out the big guns at the party. That meant looking hot and kicking slutty ass if she had to.

In her bedroom at her ma's she hung up her new clothes on the closet door and smirked- oh yeah she was keeping her man's eyes on her only tonight. She hadnt flashed any leg at the clubhouse in years, well that was over as of tonight!

She'd bought a pair of black tailored shorts that were just above mid thigh, a loose long sleeved black top with a sheer back so her ink was on show, it hung off one shoulder sexily too. If there was going to be any shit kicking, she knew already not to wear long ear rings and long chains, she wanted to minimise the risk to her own blood shed. She gathered her long waves and secured them in a low side ponytail, so it had a relaxed look to it.

When Gemma saw her fully dressed a little later she had to smile-

''baby girl I hope you realise that Happy aint gonna let you come home tonight.''

Zoe felt her insides tremble at the thought of spending the night with Happy-

''Lets cross that bridge when I get to it.''

''You ready to face those cunts tonight?''

''You bet your hot ass I am ma.'' Zoe winked.

''Good girl, you kick plenty of ass, dont let them doubt your place as his woman, make an example of the worst one and the others follow your lead. _Own your man.''_

Zoe knew what she had to do, there were no rules when it came to dealing out justice amongst the croweaters, when you sent a message to them it had to be harsh or nothing got understood, they were just that stupid.

When Happy saw Zoe enter he was smoking by the pool table waiting for Kozik to take his shot. Fuck the legs on his girl, teamed with her knee boots, showing no cleavage or midriff, it was all about what she _wasnt showing, _damn she knew how to dress with style.

He pushed the sluts hand away from its path creeping up his chest as she handed him his fresh beer. One warning look to the dumb faceless bottle blonde and it had her stepping off and heading over to Bobby who was strumming on his guitar.

Hap circled the pool table to take his shot as Zoe greeted the guys, checking that everyone was having a good time, working the room as well as Gemma ever did, not missing anyone out. He didnt miss the one armed hug with Juice on his good side and how she smiled at him in her usual way, then she dropped a kiss on his cheek before moving on.

That ''friendship'' needed an eye keeping on it.

He took his shot sinking the eight ball, winning.

''Fucking hustler.'' Kozik jeered handing his cash over to his brother still smiling.

''says the fucking broke loser.'' Hap quipped back taking a pull of his Bud.

Zoe walked up to them both-

''having a good night guys?''

Hap turned to her pulling her into his side, liking that her hand went straight to the reaper between his shoulders and the other came to rest on his abs.

Zoe shot him a smirk, loving how his rock hard abs felt under her hand, feeling his growl vibrate through her whole body, fuck, this guy was so god damn sexy. That animalistic side of him, just made her want to tear his clothes off and ride him on the nearest reasonable clean flat surface she could find.

She heard Koz gag, so she turned to the mouthy blonde and said-

''Quit being a dick and go see Kelly.''

She saw him gulp- ah so the shit remembered did he? Good thing too. He held up his hands and said-

''As its you princess, I'll go see her.''

When he'd departed Hap frowned-

''what the fuck was that?''

''the last party before we went to UCLA Koz punched Kelly's V card.''

''You shitting me?''

''I shit you not, Koz played cherry picker to Baby Delaney, so I'm helping Kell get laid tonight.''

''A friends work is never done.'' he said leading her to the couch, the prospect handing her her drink.

''Thanks Phil.''

Instead of her sitting beside him, he pulled her on to his knee- _huge public statement _one that left Tara with her mouth hung open ans several croweaters practically screaming with rage, even more so when he started stroking her thigh when he talked to Chibs and Tig.

Luann and Lyla were so proud of Zoe, she was handling it all really well, they'd all been through it for their men, now it was the Princesses turn. They knew it if kicked of their girl would annihilate anyone dumb enough to go toe to toe with her.

She sat on his lap, meeting the eye of every slut brave enough to hold eye contact, she didnt give any smug smiles or scowls, that was a sign of weakness, no she just stared each and everyone of them down. She knew one bitch was going to be mouthy, oh yes that brassy slut was example material. Emily Duncan was trying very hard to stop the girl, but the bitch was too stubborn and dumb to heed the warning, she just carried on eye balling Zoe from her place beside the chapel doors.

Hap didnt miss all the bitches glaring at his girl, but this was girl shit, he couldnt step in, it was a club right of passage for girls dating sons, but if blood got shed from a sons girl _only then could he step in. _he'd kill any cunt for making Zoe bleed, that was a given.

''You want another beer?'' she asked loving the feeling of his work roughened hand playing around the hem of her shorts.

He nodded and kissed her lips and when she got up he slapped her butt, dealing her a small smirk, she laughed, noticing for the very first time that he had the makings of some wicked dimples, damn if he smiled fully they'd just pop. She was determined to see those dimples by the end of the night, come hell or high water.

Zoe was half way to the bar, the room thick with loud rock, smoke and sex, she felt the shove to her shoulder and stopped walking, knowing shit was going down, people were _already_ stepping back to get out of the impact zone.

Taking a deep breath she turned, fists already balled, her heavy silver ring primed ready to smash fuck out of her opponents face. The blonde was the brassy one, she was about two inches taller than Zoe in her perspex stripper heels, dressed in a very cheap looking faux leather corset and a matching skirt. Her deep tan making her look much older than her years, make up painstakingly applied layer upon layer to try and disguise the years of hard partying.

''You got a problem darling?'' Zoe said looking into her unnaturally blue eyes.

''He's not really yours you know, he's ours.''

''Really?'' Zoe grinned, loving that it got this bitch even angrier that she was smiling at her.

''_Really! _You're just some up tight princess- bitch!'' the girl made the catastrophic mistake mistake of shoving her shoulder.

Oh this slut was _Ima the porn star _levels of stupid, her grin never once faltered as she moved as fast as lightning. One hand grabbing the fried bleach job she called a hair style, her other hand spinning her around, one of Zoe's toned strong legs swept the girls legs out from under her, knocking her clean off her stripped heels, the gut wrenching sound of an ankle breaking, made people cringe.

The blonde fell face first to the floor , but Zoe still wasnt done, her grip didnt let up up the long locks, she straddled the girls lower back and pulled a flick knife she'd had hidden in her boot. She wrapped the hair around her fist another time taking up more of the slack, limiting her movements even further. She let the blue toughened glass blade catch the bimbo's attention about 5 inches from her face.

''Are you getting scared?'' Zoe laughed, knowing she had...Amber? Yeah- Amber- terrified now- ''Didnt you hear me?'' she asked tugging the handful of ratty blonde locks for a response.

''Y..yes!'' Amber shrieked.

Zoe brought the knife closer to the girls face and tapped it on the cover up caked delicate skin below her right eye.

''You think he's yours? Still?'' Zoe laughed- ''Oh honey he's not yours and never was, so you take those baby blues away from him or me and my knife here will take them away from you. Now do we get each other..._Amber?''_

Amber was crying her false lashes clean off and nodding.

''Good girl.'' Zoe said close to her ear, the smile never slipping once- ''But to give you something to really think about, I'm still taking one thing from you, you mouthy little cunt.''

Zoe drew back the blue glass blade and slit the blonde locks she had wrapped around her fist off, millimetres from Amber's scalp in one deadly sweep of the blade, the girls head falling forward as she screamed . Zoe continued smiling, as she raised the severed locks to her nose and took a smell-

''Hmm you actually smell nice- lilacs.''

She retracted the blade and slide it back into her boot, getting up in one fluid motion, taking a look as the ankle she heard break, it was twisted at an odd angle-

''Oh honey you should get that looked at.''

Happy had a look on his face of utter pride, Zoe was a fucking maniac, total psycho bitch in a good girl disguise and he'd never been so proud in his life or as turned on either. This girl was in- fucking- credible! She'd owned that slut!

She looked at Rat Boy and Phil and said-

''Dump that shit pile at St Tomas and get back here its still a party after all.''

Zoe headed over to the guys, giving the other terrified croweaters a smile that was anything but friendly, they all stepped out of her way, not wanting to be next. She reached Tig and handed him the cut off hair.

''Go wild Tigger.''

He let out his crazy cackle and took the offered hair and caught the scent of it-

''Hey Princess she _does _smell good.''

Everyone cheered at the crazy pair.

Zoe winked at him and carried on her path back to Happy, she'd either done really good or humiliated him, when she looked up at his face she saw something shocking- _a smile. _As unashamed big white smile, complete with those dimples she knew that he had. He towered over her even in her 4 inch heels and he handed her his beer-

''That was fucking impressive girl.''

She took a swig of the beer and handed it back to him and winked-

''That's just for starters, I'm the creative type, so all bets would be off if I let my imagination run wild Killer.''

Happy liked this side of her, it was dangerous, wild and she had a strength that he knew drew him to her even more. Fuck he could get to _really _liking this girl, maybe even more than that. He leaned down and kissed her deeply, sending his own message to every living person in the room- you fucked with either of them and you faced both of them.

Looking up at him she said huskily-

''Consider yourself officially cock blocked now.''

He smirked down at her- ''After a show like that its all yours.''

Zoe knew right then that this night had only just began for the pair of them.

**AN: I had way too much fun writing the freak side of Zoe Teller, at the end of the day she'd just as mad as Happy is and she can unleash the psycho as well as any of the guys. So let me know what you think, did Zoe do good keeping the croweaters in line? Drop me a review and tell me what you think.**

**Cheers my dears.**

**R&R thanks xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: hi there wow the last chapter got one hell of a response I cant thank you all enough, you guys rock the casbah! so cheers my dears and lets get this on the road, you wanted some HAPPY SMUT ACTION SO HERE GOES LET THE HAPPY RIDING BEGIN...(I wish)**

**R&R please.**

**I only own my ocs.**

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 9

(Happy)

_When there's an issue with the club, its dealt with in house, if there's a problem with the extraction of information, I step in. if there's tension-you break it, especially if its sexual tension. If you both feel it, you both want it, in my eyes you should both just get the fuck on and do it._

Zoe and Happywere both amped up after the sow down with Amber the croweater and couldnt keep their hands off each other. He had her cornered in a darkened part of the clubhouse, near the pool table, his whole body covered her, so nobody could see the way his hands ran down her body and stroked her through her shorts.

He loved feeling her moan into the kiss, damn she was hot, completely sober and still reacting to him like this, he was the luckiest bastard alive to get her.

Zoe knew that she shouldnt be getting in this deep so soon, they'd only been together a week, but in her head she'd been waiting _thirteen years _and that was a considerable wait for any flesh and blood woman. Especially when the object of your long term affection and lust was rubbing up on you, getting you so turned on that you were a hairs breadth away from letting him do you in public.

She ran her hand down his rock hard sic pack abs and over his heavy silver belt buckle and felt his teeth tug at her lower lip and her nails scratched over his denim covered arousal, making him grind into her again.

Loving the delicious pain that his teeth shot through her she licked her tender lip and and asked-

''Do you want me Happy?''

He pushed her hand to his huge arousal behind his fly again and said-

''You fucking know that I do, now you either quit playing and take this somewhere private or I'm fucking you right here, to hell with who can see us.''

Zoe loved that rough gravel voice of his right in her ear, it made her lust for him go into orbit, she totally caved, thirteen years was just too long-

''Dorm room now!''

Happy saw the darkened shade of her green eyes, the flush to her cheeks and her words were exactly what he needed to hear. The caveman part of him kicked in, he picked her up easily and threw her over his shoulder and was striding across the clubhouse. He didnt give a fuck who saw them or their opinion of him carting off the princess, while throwing off more wood than a totem pole. He just _needed her _so badly in any way that he could have her.

Zoe barely heard all the cat calls coming from the guys and friends of the club, but she did see Kelly dragging Kozik out of the main door, shooting Zoe a thumbs up and a dirty typical Delaney grin.

She felt Happy caressing the back of her thighs as he went, he pulled out a set of keys for Jax's old dorm room and in they went, hitting the light and he kicked the door shut and turned the lock behind them.

Juice had been trying to avoid looking at Zoe and Happy practically having sex in the darkened corner, keeping his focus on the little brunette straddling his lap in the old arm chair. But he'd had to face reality when the Killer had carried her past him like she was the spoils of war. It was official they were gonna fuck. His head lolled back on the chair back and let the brunette do her thing, this was torture!

Zoe was pinned to the door now only wearing her underwear and her boots as Happy licked and bit his way back up her body,her nails scratching at the wood of the door at her back as she had to force her legs not to buckle to keep her upright at the sensations he brought out in her.

He dropped his cut on to the rocking chair and wondered if she knew how rare this was? For him to be on his knees in front of a woman. But what a woman! Every inch he discovered was beyond his wildest fantasies of her. Her body was so responsive to his every touch, his tongue, his teeth. He nipped at the tattoo he'd found peaking out above her black lace booty shorts. It was a shower of little black stars curving down from the left ridge of her hip bone, very sexy, he licked up her toned stomach, burying his face in her natural DD rack, taking in her scent and the silken feel of her skin.

She licked at her tender lips and his tongue ran up the front of her throat, his big rough hands squeezing both of her ass cheeks, making her grip on his firm shoulders tighten, not knowing how much more of this waiting game she could stand, not when it felt _this good._

Hap let her take his white shirt off, loving the way her eyes ran over him, taking him all in, he'd had a lot of women look at him, but something about Zoe's expression let him know that this was really about _him, _not about the reaper on his back or the patches on her cut that he sported for his club, it was _just him._ Her touch was honest, untainted about nothing but desire to be with him and it made it all feel even better to him.

His body was a thing of beauty, covered in ink, his tan skin just begged to be touched, it was so god damn smooth under her fingers, his muscles were perfection on his tall lean frame, he was every inch the deadly predator it was in his every move every touch and she loved him for it, she just couldnt wait to experience everything that those black eyes of his were promising.

He kicked his boots off, tore open his belt and said-

''On the bed.''

He saw her dark emerald eyes flair and she did as she was told a little smirk tilting her slightly swollen lips, oh she _liked _being dominated for real, he liked that too. He watched her pert little ass as she walked to the perfectly made bed, damn he just wanted to smack that ass until those cheeks shone.

She slid up the bed and laid against the pillows, one legs arched loving that she'd kept her boots on, there was something about being in her leather boots and lace underwear that made her feel so powerful even in her submissive role.

Happy's eyes feasted upon her as she let her long tousled locks fall free around her. He shed his jeans and underwear, not minding the way her eyes travelled over him one bit, he had nothing to hide, no reason to ever be shy.

Her eyes could barely register anything else when she saw she sheer size of him, no wonder the croweaters were pissed at Happy being claimed, he was fucking huge an she knew for sure that this was going to be a n experience and a half.

His fingers reached the top of her boots and he took out her knife, releasing the blue glass blade, letting it catch the light as he loomed over her. Most girls would have been nervous of him holding a knife as they lay there almost naked, bot not Zoe, she just grinned and ran her fingers up his thigh teasingly.

He trailed the razor sharp glass blade up her thigh being very aware of not using any pressure on her baby soft skin. He slit up one side of her lace booty shorts, then repeated the action on the other side and dragged the fabric free of her body. He met her eyes, keeping his face blank and ran the blade up her stomach loving the way she quivered and he slit the scrap of material between the breasts and he freed her fully from the second ruined garment and dropped the blade on to the night stand.

Letting his eyes take in her naked body for the very first time was a moment that he'd never forget, she was stunning, truly a beautiful creature, just as nature intended. Her full firm breasts were all real, no ugly surgery scars or silicone, her skins was naturally fair so it only held a hint of a tan and his hands explored the silken feel of her body, wanting to learn every curve and freckle that she had.

Zoe was surprised by his attentiveness, when all she wanted to do was her her hands and mouth on his body. When his rough hands ran up her inner thighs parting them she felt the first flutter of nerves, but she wanted him too much to give in to them.

Happy's hands reached her waxed bare core and he let his eyes meets hers as his fingers caressed her, her body arching up from the bed, but never once did she break eye contact with him, that was one hell of a turn on for him- brave little bitch.

She nearly came the second his skilled fingers swept over her clit, she was so so aroused by him, her body was throbbing with want. His thick fingers slowly sank deep within her and that was all she could stand, she had to give something back to him for making her fell _that _good. She reached down for him and took him in her hand he was so hard that it had to be verging on painful for him. She could hardly get her hand around him but she carried on letting her hand stroke up and down his full length, relishing the feel of the impossibly soft skin and how stunning he was in the flesh.

The feel of her hot, tight, wet body gripping his fingers was nearly his undoing, but feeling her hand working him with just the right pressure was going to tip him over the edge before he got anywhere near being inside of her.

He withdrew his soaked fingers, loving her delicate little whimper that escaped from her lips, he raised his wet fingers to her lips and said-

''Suck them.''

She licked the offered fingers, then drew them into her mouth.

Happy groaned at the pleasure he was getting at the sight before him, the waiting was getting to him, he pulled his fingers from her tempting mouth and watched her lick her lips as he grabbed a condom from the night stand. As much as he wanted to do her bare and feel nothing between them but her surrounding every inch of him, he didnt know if she was on birth control so he couldnt risk any accidents. He tore the wrapper open with his teeth and rolled it on, his eyes not leaving hers.

It had been so long since he'd fucked a chick face to face, but with Zoe, their first time together had to be something different that what littered his past, this was something separate, something real.

She knew that she was as ready as she could get, he'd taken her to the very brink of orgasm and kept her there, so she was about ready to explode. He raised one of her legs up and to his shoulder as he lined himself up and began entering her taking his time.

Normally he'd have just pushed in and figured- to hell with the bitches comfort level- but once again he was having to consider more than his own pleasure, it was like learning all over again to be a lover. Her tight body was ready but still held a slight resistance, so he took it as slowly as his self control would allow. He just wouldnt let himself hurt her needlessly by rushing.

Zoe had never been with a guy built like Happy, ok Juice was big but this guy was on a whole other level, the only sensation she could liken it to was losing her virginity all over again, only this time the guy actually knew what he was doing. She curved her other leg around the back of his hip, drawing him deeper into her as her body adjusted to him.

His hands held on to her thighs as he sank further inside of her, as far as he could get, growling at the pleasure she gave him, fuck he couldnt believe that he'd put this off for years, what the hell had he been thinking !?

Zoe knew that he was holding back with his slow thrusts, he was going slow for her but she was so far gone to his body already, that she just wanted him to go for it and do what he was feeling. She ran her fingers up his chest and tilted his chin so he met her eyes, his face drawn into harsh lines above her-

''Happy...you dont have to hold back now, just do it.''

Did she know what she was saying? Her eyes and body seemed to back up what she was encouraging, so he surged forward and she came instantly and he pushed fully inside of her and let out the sexiest real cry of true pleasure, not all of the noise the croweaters made thinking they were putting on some kind of show, Zoe was giving honesty.

He leaned down and kissed her deeply as his hips pounded into her relentlessly, the pain of her nails scoring his back spurring him on, feeling her body shaking beneath him, the heels on her boots sticking into the back of his thigh as she held him to her, the pleasure and pain only growing with every thrust.

Zoe came a second time, sweat pouring from them, the scent of his skin covering her, her fight for breath and desire to keep his lips on her own was becoming a hard fought choice. Tearing her lips free from his drugging kiss she gasped for air, unable to believe any man could feel _this good! _

''Vanilla'' sex hadnt done it for her like this in a very long time, but with Happy her body just couldnt get enough of what he had to give.

He was rapidly approaching climax and he didnt give a fuck who could hear them or the bed slamming against the flimsy wall, it wasnt on his radar all he cared about was Zoe's body, her pleasure and getting off.

Sweat poured, stinging the scratches on his back, the pleasure curling deep inside of him, tingling at the base of his spine as her vice like body gripped him again , he slammed fully into her as hard as he could making her cry out in that addictive way as she came one final time and that cry alone was enough to send him over the edge too.

The deep growl he threw out as he came was something Zoe would never forget, it would have scared a lesser woman, but to her it was the most amazing sound she could have heard. He dropped on to his elbows and she ran her fingers up the back of his neck gently, feeling his shudder- oh he liked that!

Happy turned his head and watched her face as he slowly pulled out, liking that sexy shudder she gave that matched his own a few seconds ago and that soft sigh was filthy, he removed the used condom dropping it into the trash and grabbed a smoke from the pack by the bed.

Zoe enjoyed the silence as she stayed laid down and pulled her leg right back and started taking off her boots they were killing her feet.

Happy watched her, Jesus she was one flexible girl, he'd have to explore that little gift the next time they were alone. To his surprise she didnt seek out any post sex comfort, she didnt cuddle into him, which he was fine with, its never been part of hos reportiore. He usually ordered chicks to leave the second he came. It was difficult sifting through his behaviour for what was acceptable for his casual fucks and what was acceptable for Zoe who was his _girl. _

She could feel him watching her, did he expect her to curl around him like a cat on heat? She didnt mind the occasional cuddle up, but after sex and while sleeping she liked her space or was he expecting her to _leave? _So she just bit the bullet and looked at him laid there coolly smoking, his dark eyes giving nothing away, just sweeping down her body then back up again meeting her eyes-

''I'm not leaving.''

''Didnt ask you to.''

''Good thing too.'' she smirked.

''Who did that ink?'' he pointed his cigarette at the spray of black stars on her left hip bone.

''Kian did it.''

She saw his mouth set like stone, his full lower lip fixing into that hard Killer line.

''What the hell is that?'' she frowned turning on to her side, not back down, he clearly had a beef with the Nomad triplets Kian, Steven an Alex.

''He must have gotten awful close girl.''

''He tried inking me from outside the room, but it didnt go so well.'' she joked knowing exactly what he was getting at.

''You got fucking jokes too?'' he said flatly not amused.

''Tons of them, so stop skirting around what you _really _want to ask, if you want to know if I've fucked them all, just come out and ask me.''

''Fine girl- did you fuck them?''

She sighed- ''No you can rest assured that I did not fuck them or I'd be guilty of _incest, _they're my cousins you lunatic. My mother's sister Sarah lives over in England and the guys prospected in Belfast, believe me now?''

This was news to Happy.

''Ask Quinn if you dont believe me, they dont advertise the family connection because the Maddock side of the family are nuts, the triplets prefer fly below the radar, given what they do for a living.''

He visibly relaxed, which made her relax too, she rolled on to her stomach and watched him, eyes going over his chest with its snake tattoo spreading from his abs right up to between his pecks. She loved his smiley face badges inked on his right hip, she knew exactly what they marked and and it didnt scare her at all, if anything it endeared her to him. It showed his survival and his success in his role within the club.

His eyes ran over her body too, down the elegant curve of her spine, to the ink that ran across the small of her back and to the top of her hips, her had to admire the perfect little firm ass she had, down those long toned legs of her and to her small feel and all the way back up again- beautiful...and now sound asleep.

A smirk tilted his lips as he stubbed out his cigarette and pulled the covers up over them both, hearing a content sigh escape from her. He brushed her hair back from her face and hi didnt know why but he dropped a soft kiss on to her lips and hit the light. He lay there in the dark accepting the reality of actually _sleeping _with a woman for the first time in a very long time.

''Wake up love birds! Zoe get your little ass out of bed we've got the barbecue to organise for this evening.''

Zoe groaned not wanting to move from the warm cocoon of the bed, but the knocking started again-

''Ok ma Jesus I'm getting up!''

''You'd better, to hell with any ideas of a morning quickie with Happy!''

Hap had been hoping for a morning fuck in the shower, no chance now, the Queen had cock blocked them now.

She sat up feeling the ache radiate through her from the vigorous sex she'd had with Hap, getting up she headed over to the chest of draws and pulled out on of Jax's old Sons shirts and put it on and grabbed her shorts off the floor and heard his rough voice ask-

''Going commando?''

He was smirking at her.

''I'll have to some impatient but hot guy took a knife to my very nice underwear.''

''Patience is over rated girl.''

''If I'd known that I wouldnt have bothered wearing any in the first place.''

He groaned- ''Dont fucking say shit like that when you can't stay to deal with what it does to me.''

Zoe chuckled pulling up her shorts and slipping her feet into the black flip flops she'd found in the draw too and headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face.

As she brushed her teeth she watched him getting dressed through the bathroom mirror, damn that guy had an ass to die for. When he turned slightly to pick up his shirt, she saw that she'd scratched his inked back to ribbons. Rinsing off her brush and after washing her make up off she went out to him and said-

''Sorry about your back I've really marked you up, probably drawn blood.''

He just shrugged and put his shirt on-

''No big deal.''

He threw his cut on and turned to look at her and saw how hot she looked even without make up wearing a Sons shirt, he had to ask-

''You ok? I didnt go easy on you last night.''

A smile tilted her mouth and she said-

''I'm fine and I was the one telling you to go for it.''

He'd never checked to make sure any chick was ok after he'd fucked them, another new thing for him, nodding he headed to the bathroom to clean up.

Zoe had never had a ''morning after'' quite like it, but she knew that this was as new to him as it was to her, she'd bet good money that he was used to throwing bitches out before the condom came off. Part of her had been expecting to wake up alone if she was perfectly honest. She'd just brushed and braided her hair, when he'd returned from brushing his teeth, he leaned in and kissed the deeply.

''Good morning to you too.'' she sighed liking him like this.

He swatted her butt and said-

''get going before your ma busts in and catches me trying to fuck you again.'

She laughed picking up her boots and her knife from the night stand- ''Ok I'm out of here.''

''One question- where'd you get that blade?''

''it was my dad's, he always said that it was made for vengeance.''

Unknown to Happy she had this blade ear marked for the day she hopefully got to take out Clay Morrow for the murder of her father, of Piney, for the death of Donna, the attempt on Tara and for hurting her mother, for all of the wrongs he'd done to them all.

Zoe winked at him and said with a smile-

''I'll see you later at the barbecue if club shit stays quiet.''

Nodding he watched her go as he fastened his belt.

Zoe tip toed past sleeping Sons and couldnt miss the sight of Juice with a stark naked brunette croweater on his lap asleep and had to quickly look away, that wasnt an image she wanted in her head all day.

She ran into her ma sat on the edge of the boxing ring smoking, looking fabulous as always throwing her that shit eating grin-

''Have fun last night?''

''Why what did you hear?''

''Luann said Hap carried you off a prized ham at a county fair.''

''That a direct quote?'' Zoe cocked a brow in good humour.

''Yeah actually.''

''Well ask me later, I need a shower and...underwear.'' she bit her lip to keep from out right laughing.

It was Gemma's turn to cock her brown this time-

''A commando walk of shame? Man you really are my daughter.''

''the gravity defying rack should have been your first clue to that ma.''

''Smart ass.'' Gemma said handing her the shopping list to her daughter.

Once Zoe had gotten home and showered she changed into her fresh clothes and underwear and was heading off to the store, her post sex aches kicking in even more after a few minutes behind the wheel. Usually she wouldnt have looked twice at the people milling _this _part of Charming on Saturday after all she'd cut through to save herself some time. But one guy had caught her eye, it was Tia Alvarez's fiancé – Roberto. What the fuck was he doing in Charming? Then it twigged with Zoe, a lot of croweaters lived around there.

Fuck, was Roberto cheating? He wasnt on his bike and he wasnt in his Mayan cut either he was in civilian clothes, Christ this was all classic cheating signs.

Once she got back to her ma's she found the drive was full of cars- Kelly, Luann, Lyla and even Tara were there.

''Full house today.'' she smiled to herself.

Kelly spotted Zoe popping her trunk open and went out to help her friend-

''Hey babe. Let me help.'' she took one of the bags from the butchers- ''Oh and pre-warning, they all want the dirt on sex with Happy.''

''I was expecting this, but get this- I just saw Tia's Roberto in Skank-Ville, he's either cheating or he's...fuck knows it looks bad for him.''

Kelly had to agree, guys only went to Skank-Ville for one reason and an Antonio Banderas look a like was pretty easy to spot on the streets of Charming. This sucked for Tia, damn that guy was in deep shit when she found out, no way were either of them stepping up to bat with that nugget of information!

When they got inside all the girls were grinning at her and she rolled her eyes-

''Welcome back to Charming High.'' Zoe cringed.

''So?'' Lyla inquired all big blue eyes, as the girls put the trays of ribs, steak, burgers and chops into the fridge.

''what?'' Zoe grinned laying coy.

Gemma stirred a batch of her barbecue sauce-

''Give it up baby girl and spill, hows Happy in the sack or where ever you two hit it?''

She dropped the grocery bags into the recycle box by the door ans smirked-

''Well he's officially toppled Juice from his top spot as my best ever.''

The kitchen was a sea of cheers.

Tara and Lyla were shocked to hear that Zoe had slept with Juice.

''Relax ladies it was just one night me and Juice shared after a crazy year we'd both gone through.'' she said in her defence.

Lyla was still wide eyed and gasped-

''But he's in love with you.''

Luann and Gemma exchanged looks, hoping Zoe didnt believe her, the last thing the princess needed was to be knowingly caught between two Sons in the same charter. Ignorance was her best form of defence in this situation.

''Lyla honey.'' Zoe took her hands in her own- ''Juice in not in love with me, he'd just protective and concerned about me, no more, no less.''

The two older women breathed a mutual sigh of relief.

Luann was chopping salad when Zoe gave her the rest of her ingredients, the porn queen kissed her cheek and said-

''So come on beautiful, tell me is he hung or is it just croweater bullshit?''

Zoe looked down at the huge cucumber on the glass chopping board, got a grin on her face while reaching for a knife off the magnetised knife strip on the wall and chopped the vegetable to size and handed it to Luann-

''that answer your question?''

Luann held up the thick 10 or 11 inch cucumber and the rest of the girls in the kitchen were nearly choking on their glasses of white wine or beer. The porn queen looked Zoe up and down and asked genuinely wanting to know-

''Honey how the hell are you still walking?''

Zoe put her arm around her and said candidly-

''Because he _really _knows how to use it.''

Everyone was in kinks laughing again but Zoe turned to Kelly and smiled-

''Kelly I think its your turn to dish the dirt now.''

The porn princess's blue eyes went as wide as Lyla's-

''Erm..what?''

''Details Kelly, you hooked up with Kozik now spill.''

This was the typical gathering of the ladies of Samcro, gossiping, laughing, telling stories and the favourite part of the day- _confession time. _

**AN: hi there I hope you liked a bit of Happy Fun I know I enjoyed writing it, stay tuned for the barbecue and the first night Zoe stays at Haps when a storm hits the town. Drop me a review and let me know what you think.**

**R&R please xx :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: hi there thank you all for the amazing reviews and so many new favourites- you guys rock the casbah! sorry for the wait but work has been kicking my arse all over the shop this weekend. So lets get this show on the road and catch up with our fave couple...oh and the song I had in mind for when Happy and Zoe are getting HOT with each other is Halestorm ''I Get Off'' lol I highly recommend a listen while reading their fun :)**

**I only own my ocs**

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 10

(Zoe)

_In this life you either have to follow the rule or you can make them up as you go along. They both have their pit falls but to me it takes a stronger person to make their own, because then the only person you're letting down is yourself because you set the guide lines, and there's not a worse feeling in the world than being the one responsible for your own pain._

The grill was being manned by Bobby and Chibs as Jax finally got the call from Quinn that he'd been waiting for all that day. He shut himself in his dads old office and began-

''Hey Q, we're good to talk, what have you got for me?''

''Hey Jax, we got word back from our sources and they can't find how O-Town P.D got hacked, you said Juice is still working on it too so he might be your best solution, our little hacker geek came up empty. Who ever did the computer shit wiped it too clean for our guys to see it.'' the Nomad pres explained.

Jax sighed pinching the bridge of his nose-

''This is turning into a big operation for just a few black tip bullets.''

''We've got someone outside the club who could help, but the dudes twitchy, he's out in Nevada, in some backwoods place , he might be persuaded to help.''

This was music to Jax's ears-

''Great can you set it up?''

''Sure, one problem- he aint cheap and he'll need to meet you and your guys before he'll play ball, kid is ADD nightmare...bring Juice.'' Quinn suggested.

Jax didnt want to be doing intel runs to Nevada at the minute, but if they could crack this shit open, it's put an end to whoever was blowing smoke up their asses with this gun theft drama.

''Ok Q meet you at Indian Hills on Tuesday we'll bring Juice.''

''Sure thing .'' Quinn agreed.

Happy and the guys had arrived at the Teller house while the girls were in fits of laughter about fuck only knows what, because when Luann had looked at his and given him a huge smile, she'd said-

''Scary and talented, why aren't _all _Sons like you?''

He'd frowned and looked to Zoe for and explanation, she'd just bitten back laughter and shrugged, he'd stuck to his own rule-

_when it involves the old ladies of the club stay the hell out of the way._

Once the girls were alone in the kitchen with all the guys outside Kelly looked at her mother and said-

''Dont let Koz know that you know ok?''

''Of course not sweetie, he's a flighty one, I'm not going to scare him off, not when he's putting a smile that size on your face.''

Kelly flushed at her ma's words.

Gemma smirked raising her glass-

''A big cock tends to have that effect Lu.''

Phil the prospect stopped in the doorway stunned at the queens words-

'Erm.. ladies, Chibs sent me inside for..barbecue sauce.''

Gemma saw the big guy blushing and motioned for Zoe, who grabbed the dish of sauce and handed it to Phil, giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder-

''you heard none of this conversation, ok?'' she chuckled.

''No problem at all.'' he nodded.

''Tell the guys we;ll be out in a second.''

He nodded again and got the hell out of there and back to the guys in the garden, who were grilling up a storm.

Zoe shook her head at her mother.

''What?'' Gemma frowned- ''If he can't hack a little cock talk, he's gonna have a stroke when Tig opens his mouth about one of his pussy pile ups.''

Jax gathered the guys and mentioned the run to Indian Hills, he was going to take Opie, Chibs, Happy and Juice, it'd be three days at the very most, they were all up for the run. Happy knew that it was his first run for his new club, so he was all about doing his best for it. At the moment he was just kicking back with the guys enjoying the rare down time they had, a few beers and some conversation, nothing more he could ask for.

Just as the girls came out with fresh beers, he realised that it was now his duty to tell Zoe about the run. So when she sat beside him on the low wall around the deck, he accepted the beer from her and said quietly for her ears only-

''We got a run coming up, intel.''

She didnt flinch just gave him an understanding look-

''About the ambush?''

Happy knew that Jax and Zoe talked about club shit, she was all the way in, she was smart and she gave good advice to her brother when he came looking for it, so it made sense that she knew about their bad times-

''Yeah Nevada. Just a few days, no drama, should be a clean run.''

Zoe saw each and every woman of the club find out and the concern was identical on each face, she looked right into Happy's dark eyes and knew she couldnt be a bitch about the run, that was Rule No1 about being a girl from the club- you didnt stand in the way of Sons plans.

''Ok, just dont go causing any trouble out there, I know what you guys are like when you get on the road.'' she smirked.

''Trouble? Us? We're the innocent ones.'' he replied a hint of a smile on his hard mouth.

He'd been expecting a grilling about road rules, but it hadnt hit...yet.

On the back porch the girls gathered as the guys ate and laughed around the fire pit, the sun starting to set now. Gemma looked at her daughter and said-

''Baby girl have you had the talk with Hap yet?''

''Which talk would that be? Gotta narrow it down.''

Gemma exhaled her cigarette smoke and levelled her gaze-

''About the Rules of a Run. You gotta lock that shit down before they ride out, because if you dont, that means _anything _goes for him. Can you handle him coming home all scratched up from some other bitch? With her stink all on him, when he comes home to you for that 'welcome back' fuck?''

Zoe set her untouched plate aside feeling nauseated at the thought of _her man _returning to her reeking of pussy and his body all marked up by nails and teeth of some other woman, while he tried to get into her pants! It made her angry just imagining it, she could feel the rage getting even more dangerous when her head fed her images of him kissing and fucking other random girls.

Gemma saw that Zoe needed to deal with this as soon as possible, because it was already killing her and it hadnt even happened yet.

''Give me a minute ma.'' Zoe needed breathing space to deal with what was to come.

Happy saw Zoe heading into the house looking really pale, Juice was on his feet first, but Hap's heavily inked arm shot out and forced him back into his seat with a warning look, not giving a shit about the guys bullet wound. If anyone was going to check on her it was _him, _she was _his _girl after all! Juice had to back the fuck off and learn his place.

The guys didnt question the Killers exit, they just watched him go. Happy found her in her dads old office, in his big black leather wing back chair, doing some hard core thinking. Shutting the door behind himself he sat in the couch over from her, making sure he caught her eye-

''Talk to me girl.''

She looked at him, seeing her gorgeous, sexy bastard of a boyfriend, man he was going to be surrounded by young, easy pussy and he wasnt going to turn it down. What man would or could? He was _The Killer _his rep got him pussy in droves!

''I dont know where to even start, but I'll give it a shot. We need to talk about the Rules of a Run.''

He rested his elbows on his knees and wondered how badly this was going to go, she was too fucking calm to be believed. He didnt trust a woman who was _this _calm looking, none one inch, a shit storm was never far behind it.

''Ok lets talk.''

She sat forward, almost mirroring his posture-

''As I'm not your Old Lady, what do _you _think are acceptable Rules to abide by?''

Happy knew that that was one fully loaded question to have pitched into his lap, he was s mart guy he knew that there was no right way to answer this, just varying levels of wrong. So he just went for what he thought would bring him the least amount of shit-

''I think that we should stick to the Rule of- _what happens on a run stays on a run, _it works for me.''

Zoe knew that she should have been satisfied with this, that he was willing to even talk about it, but she couldnt keep the jealousy inside or her possessive side either. No, she needed to show him who he was messing with, if he thought she was going to sit around and play the door mat he left at home while he went out and had the time of his life.

''Hap, as we're not _official _in the old man- old lady way, we're just what we are- I dont see why we should follow the _official Rules _of the club. How about I make a deal with you?''

''What kind of a deal?'' he frowned, lost to her way of thinking, that big Teller brain of hers was going 100 miles an hour on the open road already he could see it in her eyes.

''I'm not going to lie, the thought of you fucking other women makes me want to _kill, _I'm not even just saying that in an overly dramatic way, I'm actually serious. If one of those whores follows you back to Charming _ever, _I'll slit her throat from ear to ear in front of the whole club.''

He could see exactly how serious she was, so he just nodded, hoping to be able to get to her _deal _part of this conversation.

''My _deal _is this- first off- if you get to sleep around on a run I dont want them to mark you up in _any _way and you shower before you come home to me.''

Happy was fine with those conditions, it was a matter of respect-

''Babe I'd do that anyway.''

''There's more.'' she said holding his dark gaze, a slow smile creeping to her lips- ''Secondly- he'd the _deal _part- if you get to live like a single guy on the road, then I get to do the same while you're gone and like your on the road rule- you cant ask me questions about the time apart.''

Happy couldnt keep the sheer rage held inside, his Killer was roaring inside his head and it just broke free, he leapt to his feet and pointed right in her face-

''You're fucking insane if you think that I'd _ever _agree to that! No way are _you _screwing around behind _my _back!''

''But _you _get to behind _my _back!? What's fair about that Hap!?''

''Its the way things are done Zoe!''

''Well not with me they're not! If you're out there sticking it to any available gash who looks your way, then I'm sure as shit not staying at home playing the ignorant little girl, pretending that its not really happening. I'm getting something out of this too! Its the 21st century Hap, never heard of equal opportunities?''

Zoe was on a roll now, she wasnt backing down either, these Rules of a Run had been the bane of every old ladies life since they were put in place decades ago.

''Fuck equal opportunities Zo, the rules are set and I'm _not _sharing you. You said you werent the club fuck toy, so stand by that!''

She was on her feet starring him down now-

''I'll be sharing you with countless women all over the USA, how do you think that makes me feel? Why the fuck should I be alone in that?''

That hit him like a ton of bricks, she didnt want to be hurting alone. He had to try and sort this mess out, but he wasnt used to handling stuff like this, relationships were a fucking endurance trial!

''Zoe we need to compromise or this aint gonna work at all, I'm not standing for you letting to her guys inside whats mine, so I can _try _to be more in control on a run, if thats what it takes to keep you exclusively mine.''

''Go on.'' she urged arms crossing over her chest, not ready to back down just yet.

''I'll give you the no marking and me showering and I'll _try _and keep it to just blow jobs and hand jobs.''

Zoe was surprised he was even willing to _try _for this much-

''I'm not dumb Happy I know that shit gets crazy on the road, I've travelled and seen it happen and it _will happen, _but _if _you comeback marked up, stinking and just _one _bitch shows up here, _only then do I get to do what you're doing when you're on the road.''_

He knew that she was just covering her back, because the biggest insult to your girl or old lady was for your on the road strange to follow you home. He'd be a fool to do that to the princess of Samcro, but now he knew if he did, she'd do it right back to him.

''Ok Zo...just know that if that's your revenge for me ever hurting you and I _ever _lay eyes on one of those bastards pushing up on you, I'll gut the fucker right in front of you.''

She knew he was telling the truth, they were just like each other there, she guessed crazy really did attract other crazy.

''Fine, so are we clear? Blow jobs and hand jobs are allowed, but _if _you're screwing around you stay clean and unmarked, you bring it home or ever rub it in my face then I'm allowed to do what I want the next time you're out of town.''

When it was all laid out in front of him he _hated _how her fidelity lay in his hands alone, as fair as it was, it still tore him to the bone knowing that just one indiscretion meant open season for her. He pointed at her-

''I'll agree on one condition- it can't be anyone from Samcro.''

The thought of her fucking Juice made him murderous on an epic scale.

''That's fine with me...so is it settled?'' she asked seeing his whole body tense up, he was hating every second of this, well it had hardly been a walk in the park for her either.

Happy gave her a stern nod, but he was far from ok with the idea of some fucker off the street getting near _his girl, _or a Son from another charter getting to what was _his. _He needed to wipe out that picture and the knowledge of what he'd agreed to.

Zoe saw the fire in his eyes as he stalked over to her and she knew he wanted her, this was what her ma told all of the new girls getting with a Son- the guys needed to own their girls, both inside and out! And her Killer was about to own every inch of her.

Gemma and Luann had heard the yelling when they'd gone for fresh drinks, admiring how Zoe had held her own against such a strong dangerous guy like Happy. They also saw him carrying her out of the office and up the stairs, her legs and arms wrapped around him, her nails scratching the back of his neck as he growled like a wild animal at her.

The pair headed up to her room not giving a fuck about people being there. Gemma and Lu knew that they had to screw their brains out in order to let things lie, that was just the way the guys operated.

Zoe knew that Hap wasnt going to be gentle about this, he was pissed and possessive, a very dangerous combination to be in cross hairs of. When he kicked the bedroom door shut, he very roughly dragged her jeans down her legs along with her panties and threw them aside and slammed her back against the wall as he roughly kissed and bit at her neck and collar bones, marking her as _his _and _his alone!_

She could feel her heart racing within her chest, knowing that she should be scared of him hurting her when he got this close to losing all control, but there was something so raw and so real about him that it turned her on like never before it was too much of a rush to run from it now.

Not even thinking about anyone hearing them, he pulled a condom from his wallet and was tearing open his belt and jeans and with the greatest urgency he knew he had to be in her, they may as well have been in an empty house for all the concern that he had about being heard.

She felt his calloused fingers trace over her core, checking that she was at least ready for him. He roughly hoisted her up his body and pushed fully inside of her still tender body, clearly feeding off the shock her saw on her face. She buried her face in his neck to muffle the loud cry of her pleasure- pain filled outburst. He gave her no time to adjust before he was slamming into her. Zoe was shaking with shock as she clung to him praying that he wouldnt stop.

Happy had never felt anything like this in his life, but she was _his, his _girl, _his _tight perfect pussy, everything this girl had and was as a person was _his _now. The way she even seemed to get off on how roughly he treated her in that moment just made the blood in his veins sing and it made his Killer feel elated, she accepted the dark inside of him, hell his dark side was the one fucking her through the god damn wall and it was the Killer she was coming for.

He was a lot to take, but he still felt incredible to her, she looked into his dark anger filled eyes and she knew right away that this wasnt the man from last night looking back at her, no this was the other side of him, but she loved the man, so she loved this side of him too, she let him know with one thumb caressing his rigid jaw.

''Tell..me..who's...you..are.'' each word he ground out was punctuated with a hard deep thrust, eye contact never waning.

She was seconds from coming but she held it back the best that she could-

''I'm yours...all yours.''

''Good girl.'' he growled.

He stopped fucking her, knowing how close she was, she bared her teeth at him fearlessly, hating him right then for daring to stop, he saw it in her blazing green eyes. He wanted to bring out the bad side of her, he turned them so his back was against the wall and he supported her full weight under her ass.

Zoe was more than willing to take them the rest of the way and she roughly grabbed his shoulders for leverage and started fucking him with the same ferocity that he'd shown her, taking pleasure while giving it to him, knees chafing against the wall, muscles burning in the thighs, but stopping wasnt an option.

He felt a connection with this wild, rough, untamed side of her, one that he'd never felt in his whole life for any other girl and she couldnt have looked more beautiful to him if she'd tried. The way she fearlessly rode him and looked into his eyes, no smiles, just an expression of pure pleasure.

''Hap..if I'm yours...that makes you mine too...every last inch of _you.''_

On that final word she slammed her hips right down the full length of him and they came together in an all consuming rush of agonised drawn out ecstasy.

He slid free and carried her to her bed and they just lay there side by side, satiated and sore, not touching at all. He was still a bit freaked out by her not doing what every other chick he'd been with did- _try and cuddle him-_or _spoon _as they called it these days. He threw the condom in the trash and fastened his jeans. He laid back down seeing her exhale.

Zoe hadnt come like that for a long time, something about his incredible body really got hers firing on all cylinders, not that she was about to tell him that, his ego was already too big to start off with. Maybe Kelly's nickname for him was right- Happy the Wonder Cock. She used whatever was left of her self control and held her laughter inside.

By the time the run rolled around Happy and Zoe were back to their version of _normal _now with their _own rules _in place and not open to any further negotiations, they'd expressed their mutually possessive natures and accepted them as parts of each others natures, nothing more needed to be said for now.

Kissing him goodbye on Tuesday morning was a bitch, he was a seasoned pro, he wore his patches to prove it, but she knew a storm was heading in, so even the most experienced riders couldnt fight nature. The thought of anything happening to any of the guys was bad enough but to the man she loved was beyond comprehension- she couldnt even bring herself to think about it.

Before he got on his bike he pulled something from the inside of his cut, pressing it into her palm and said in her ear-

''Dont look at it until I'm gone.''

He smirked and swung one long leg over his Harley looking at her, seeing that she was trying so hard to keep it together like a true girl of the club did and she was doing it for him. He'd never understood the other guys and their long drawn out goodbyes with their women, now he actually felt a little closer to getting it.

Once they'd vanished off the lot with Chibs and Juice in the van behind them, Zoe headed straight to her studio. Opening her hand only when the door was securely locked behind her, she saw that it was a little black velvet pouch, she shook the contents out into her palm and couldnt help but smile.

There sat a long silver chain and on it was a silver smiley face. There was no sentimental engravings, nothing extra at all, but this was a symbol all the same, not just of ownership but it was a clear sign to everyone _who _she belonged to. This symbol was Happy's alone, damn he'd staked a claim.

Without hesitation she put the necklace on and she would wear it with pride, having it tell every Son nation wide who'd be kicking their ass if they fucked with her.

For the next three days Charming and the whole county was battered with torrential rain, gale force winds and thunder and lightning, but Zoe painted right through it all, trying to battle her anxiety at not hearing from Happy for the whole run. It wasnt until late Friday afternoon that he called her pre-paid, when the power at the club kept cutting out and coming back.

''Zo, tonight Gemma is staying with Tara and the kids, I dont want you at your ma's place alone, its too big for the guys or prospects to keep secure. Go get my spare house keys from my tool box in the shop, head to mine with one of the guys or the prospect and keep your piece on you even when the guys with you ok? I'll be there in a little while.''

When he hung up she didnt even have time to question it, she threw her things into her bag and locked up her studio pulled up her hood and ran through the rain to get to the garage, her keys in hand. She found Hap's tool box on the back bench, a smiley face slapped on the front, making her chuckle. The only key she found was an anonymous looking one in the very bottom, she put it one her key chain and put everything back into its place knowing he had a touch of OCD when it came to being tidy with his things.

Running to the clubhouse she was going to grab whatever prospect was free, Zoe was soaked by the time she got inside and found Phil scrubbing the bar like a man possessed, guess storms made him edgy too-

''Phil, Hap just called he wants me to go to his place, can you stick with me until he gets back from the run in a little while?''

''Sure thing, glad to help.'' he wiped off his hands.

''You packing?''

Phil shook his head, knowing he needed a gun for taking care of the Samcro princess for Happy.

Kozik jumped into action and headed to his dorm, returning with a piece for Phil-

''You guard her with your life, call if you need us I'll be with Kelly and Lu a few blocks away from Haps place. If you fuck up Hap will deal with you.'' the blonde warned him.

''You both have my word.''

Kozik hugged Zoe close- ''Call if you need us ok? Hap wouldnt want you at his place for nothing you know that.''

''I know, take care of momma and baby Delaney Herman.'' she smiled, grateful for having him looking out for her without smothering her.

He grinned at her- ''They'll be safe sweetheart.''

Usually when a situation like this came up, she'd be at home with Juice or at the clubhouse with Tig and Chibs playing guess the bra size of movie stars on the TV. But if Happy wanted her at his place she'd do things his way, fuck only knows what was going down.

They pulled up to Haps drive and Phil went to check around the property, when it was clear he took the keys from her for the house he went to check that out too before giving her the all clear to enter. She liked Phil he was going to be a good Son, he didnt cut corners and he took every job seriously.

Zoe entered Happy's lair/ his house, she liked this place it was always neat as a pin without needing a cleaner and they both knew to remove their shoes before leaving the entrance rug. Phil went around closing the blinds and turning on the lamps while she found a movie for them to watch, praying the power held up.

''Oh cool Thor is on, you ok with that?''

He nodded smiling- ''More than ok.''

It was hardly a relaxing time, they were both just waiting for _something _to happen, they both visibly flinched when they heard the distinct sound of Harley straight pipes coming down the street getting closer and closer until the light shone against the front window of the house showing that the rider was pulling up the drive.

She was relieved when the key turned in the door and a soaked Happy stepped into the house in a black hoodie , his pack getting dumped to the floor-

''Prospect head back to the clubhouse I've got this.''

Phil knew not to linger or question a guy like Happy, he got up shoved his boots on and shot Zoe a reassuring look before leaving.

She saw that Happy was wired and close to exploding into violence, his adrenaline had his visibly shaking, hands flexing and releasing repeatedly, rain water dripping down his face and hands to the varnished wood floors, but she was refusing to be afraid of this side of him, she'd face it head on.

He'd just had two hours of hell and he'd never been more pissed off in his life, this rat business was getting really fucking messy. He needed her closer to him, to some how keep him grounded, he beckoned her to him, having his doubts that she'd ever come within touching distance of him in this state.

Zoe didnt hesitate, not caring if he was soaked to the skin, she still went to him and he didnt kiss her, he just pulled her to his chest ans wrapped her up in his arms and lay his cheek against her hair, exhaling like a weight had been lifted off of him.

All of the warmth left her body as the cold rain water soaked into her white cotton shirt and washed out jeans, but she didnt push him away, she was just too wrapped up in the novelty of him hugging her of all things.

It wasnt until she shivered in his arms that he pulled back, she didnt understand why he was starring at her shirt until she looked and saw that it was now covered in blood- fuck. She couldnt freak out or react she had to keep it together and be strong and calm for him after all this was part of his role in the club she was raised in.

He didnt really know how she was going to react to this, it was the reality of his job, not just being shoved in her face, but it was the reality literally ruining her clothes and physically staining her body too. This was the point where it could send her running, the point where she rejected him.

Zoe looked up at him knowing exactly what to do-

''Come with me.''

She took his much larger hand, feeling his long fingers wrap around her hand and she took him to the laundry room-

''Give me your clothes, then head up for a shower. Are you hurt anywhere at all?'' her eyes never once leaving his.

''No babe I'm fine.''

''Good.'' she smiled seeing the Killer had retreated and Happy was back.

As he took his clothes off, she did too and he was just in a small amount of shock over her calm state, he threw his clothes into the machine, putting his wallet chain and guns on the shelf over the machine out of the way and she handed him the fresh towels from the dryer and said-

''I'll deal with this, you go on up.''

He nodded dropping a soft kiss on to her lips.

She set the washer off, put on one of his clean Sons shirts, smiling at how huge it was on her and she set about cleaning up any stray spots of blood that would have dropped anywhere in the lounge, she knew just how to clean up the post-run clean ups, she'd seen her ma do enough of them.

15 minutes later he found her on his couch in one of his shirts, the chain on show, hair piled up in a loose bun, curls escaping around her face and neck, no make up looking beautiful to him. He was just in loose jeans and a white wife beater, he sat beside her stroking her bare legs gently-

''You ok?''

Her huge green eyes met his-

''Hap I'm fine, did you..expect me to run?''

''yeah I did, but you stayed strong, proud of you.''

She took his hands and said-

''I've seen it all before, I'm not going to break I can promise you that.''

he pulled her into his side and lay back on the couch realising that for the first time in his life as a Son that he was with a girl who not only accepted his role, but also accepted him for who he was too. He was blindly running his hand up and down her leg when it hit him- he was starting to fall. Why did this feel ten times as fucking deadly as what he'd faced that very night? Suddenly their Rules of a Run conversation three days ago no longer felt like the big deal he'd initially thought, something else had just taken centre stage.

**AN: how was that, drop me a review and let me know because I wanted to do a turning point for their relationship, I hope I got it right.**

**R&R cheers my dears :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: thank you all for the reviews and the faves, can't believe you've taken this little story over 100 faves- amazing, you guys are incredible.**

**Its been a while since I've felt this comfortable with a story, like its ok** **go really insane with my ideas, so hold on for what I plan to be a fucked up messy and kinda dirty ride right to the final chapter ;)**

**hope you like the latest and if there's anything you guys would like me to add, drop me a PM and let me know and I'll see what I can do.**

**Thanks again x**

**I only own my ocs.**

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 11

(Jax)

_A club based on lies can't stand and if it does its never for very long. When one lie leaks out, its only a matter of time before they all come flooding out. All it takes is one crack in the damn to break it wide open, you just have to see whats left afterwards, you've also gotta hope that the people you love can swim through the chaos or at the very least be smart enough to cling to something immoveable._

Zoe lay awake beside Happy in his bed, just staring at the ceiling in the dark, so many things going through her head about the club. Shit was going down in a big way and it was rapidly getting worse, she could feel that it was. All she could think about was- who is going to get hurt next time? And – who is going to be the next family member to not come come?

Happy lay still, keeping his breathing steady so not to spook her. He'd seen so much strength form her that night, but he also knew that she was all in on club shit. Jax would tell her how things had gone down and that wasnt how he wanted her to hear this shit, it had to come from his personally.

Zoe felt him shift beside her and she knew then that he had been awake, not moving or turning she said-

''What's on your mind Hap?''

He moved a little closer, laying his hand on her flat stomach-

''Gotta be me you hear this from girl.''

Her eyes flicked to him in the moonlight, catching the glint of his-

''Go ahead.''

''We'd gone to Nevada for intel from one of Quinn's old hacker sources, I'd met the kid when he used to kick around Tacoma. We got some good intel from him too, he worked all night with Juice. We get to the San Joa county limits on the way home and they were waiting for us.''

''_Another _ambush?''

''Yeah but it werent guns they were after this time it was blood. But one fucked up, instead of hauling ass the the hummer, he turned and shot at Jax. I covered him, got a head shot on the fucker.''

''Did everyone make it home?''

He stroked up her side through the borrowed shirt she was wearing-

''Everyone's alive...but I checked the guy over, asshole still had his wallet on him, so he was new to this shit.''

''Anyone we know?''

He nodded- ''Mayan ink too.''

''_Mayan?''_

''Found a picture in his wallet of him and his girl too...it was Roberto.''

Zoe couldnt believe her ears- Tia Alvarez's fiancé was a nark, he was the one behind or at the very least caught up in the war against the Sons. Holy shit Happy had killed her friends man!

''Oh my god that's Tia's fiancé!''

''Shit.'' he sighed- ''You can't tell her anything Zoe.''

''Hap I've been in this life from birth I'm not going to go running my mouth at anybody. So...was is Roberto and other Mayans? Or do you think they were hired guns?'' she asked forcing herself into some kind of clarity.

''From my guess they were hired, no Mayan with half a brain would start shit _this _close to Charming, not with the money Jax is pulling down for the crews around here.''

Zoe let this sink in, then it came back to her- she'd seen Roberto hanging around Charming in civilian clothing, in the neighbourhood where the croweaters lived. Fuck this was looking like an in-house problem now, it'd be hitting very close to home if the details got raked over.

Telling Happy her sliver of information didnt feel like a smart move just yet, Jax had to be the first port of call, she trusted Hap with her life but Jax had her had an understanding, when she found something that could benefit the club she took it to him first, in return he'd keep her inside the club loop.

Happy raised up on to one elbow looking down at her silently laid there-

''You pissed at me girl?''

''No, if you hadnt killed him, he'd have taken out my brother and you too, how could I ever be pissed at that? You saved his life.'' she lay her hand on his cheek affectionately and said- ''I'd never _blame you _for doing your job. So where is he now?''

''Buried deep.''

This was all new to him, having a girl who _got _the club life and didnt fly into an insane rage about club business and him killing people-

''Feels like you should be running for the door to get away from me.''

She sighed- ''As sick as it is- this has been my real life for 28 years, its a relief to finally not have to hide the messier details of my life from someone.''

He leaned down and kissed her, saying against her lips-

''Girl I've seen more shit than you can even imagine, so you never have to hide anything from me, remember that.''

She kissed him back-

''Good or I really would go insane.''

''Insane is ok too.''

She chuckled against his full lips, feeling him smile too, hating that she couldnt see this rare occurrence, those dimples of his were a thing of beauty.

''You've got some wicked dimples on you Killer.''

Happy wasnt used to hearing that teasing tone from girls, from his ma and Tig in church- yes, but never from women he was involved with- not that there'd been many getting past a one night stand, but they'd never teased him.

''Shh dont tell anyone, do you know how much damage the words _wicked dimples _will do to my reputation?''

His aim was to make her laugh and it worked, this had been one fucked up night and he couldnt afford to let her dwell on the dark side she'd seen first hand and all of the drama it brought along with it. Even he knew that girls over thought everything. It'd only take one thing to make this situation go from easy banter about dimples to her screaming at him for gunning down her best friends old man.

As usual Happy was up at 6am showering then shaving his head again, not wanting too much grey to be visible. It was one thing to _feel _the years catching up with him, it was something very different to actually look like they were hot on his heels. Especially when his girl was a whole decade younger than he was and bursting with energy and life.

Zoe could hear him in the bathroom, the buzz of the clippers letting her know that the sexy grey hint of hair was being wiped out. She began digging through her bag for clothes, still trying to figure out and handle this whole Roberto- Mayan fuck up, she had no option but to go to Jax about it. If shit was getting her best friend shot and her brother and lover into life or death situations then it needed handling.

She slid her black skinny jeans over her new underwear, fastened her studded belt and pulled on her Samcro tank top. Her long hair was a tousled mess when she started carefully brushing free the tangles in her layers.

Happy stood in the bathroom doorway watching her as he brushed his teeth- hot little bitch. How the fuck did she manage to look so innocent while being all in with the club life? She'd seen things that would have broken most girls, yet she was still standing, still ready to protect the club to the death.

Once she'd gotten ready and brushed her teeth, she helped Hap in the kitchen with breakfast, honestly surprised that he could cook. They both ignored the very _domestic _scene they presented, if either of them had made a comment it'd have made it all feel unnecessarily awkward, so instead they just _enjoyed it._

Having her ride with him was an incredible feeling, she knew just how to ride bitch, she leaned into every turn, didnt flinch when he sped up and didnt fight the way the bike moved and her arms felt right when they were around his waist, her teasing fingers clutching at his heavy belt buckle, her breasts pressed into his back, her strong thighs either side of his own- this felt so good.

At the traffic lights before you hit TM they stopped and he saw a group of teenage boys outside the diner and the way their eyes went over the bike, the cut, his girl. He'd been the exact same way in his early teens, until he got his first bike, the life had been all he'd ever wanted, he gave a nod to the kids and then the lights changed and off they went, leaving the kids smiling with envy.

Zoe was pleased to see Jax's bike on the lot when they pulled up, she handed Hap his helmet back when he dismounted, not expecting him to pull her in for a kiss, this man was full of surprises.

Hap looked into her eyes after they parted and asked-

''You ok?''

''I'm fine, I promise.''

It was the truth, she felt oddly normal despite the fact that her friends old man was in a grave somewhere thanks to some bullets and generous amounts of his own stupidity. When she entered the clubhouse she heard a little voice shout-

''Aunt Zoe!''

She smiled at her nephew Abel who was currently sat on Hibiscus's shoulders waving at her, smiling from ear to ear.

''Hey little Teller.'' she reached up and stroked his soft blonde hair lovingly- ''Seen your dad around here kiddo?''

Abel pointed to the ladder up to the roof by the dorm rooms.

''Thanks honey, you be careful with uncle Chibs he's getting old you know.''

Abel laughed and Chibs glared at her good naturedly.

''Praise the lord that you're cute Zoe.''

She walked off giggling, shooting Happy a wink over her shoulder.

Jax was sat against the roof hatch his mind going over the events of the past few weeks, knowing that he was missing something vital from the puzzle that was this mess they were facing. He heard someone coming up the ladder and only one person ever joined him on the roof and he really needed to hear from her right then.

When she shut the hatch behind herself and gave him that serious look of hers, he knew this was going to be one of their epic Teller sharing sessions and meetings of the mind.

''I need you to hear this.'' she sat facing him, legs crossed Indian style- ''Hap told me about Roberto and I've got news.''

''Whatever it is just give it to me straight.''

''Before the barbecue at ma's I saw Berto in Charming, in civilian clothes, in the croweater neighbourhood, he never saw me but it was definitely him Jax. At first I thought that he was in town cheating on Tia but...now its just not feeling like that was the case.''

Jax frowned- ''Who the fuck was feeding him the intel to him?''

''Do you think its in-house or one of the skanks with an ear to the wall?'' Zoe inquired not wanting to even really say the _in-house _part out loud.

Something inside Jax's head just clicked and it pieces fell into place-

''Where did you see Berto? Which street?''

''The one before Beech Avenue..erm...Sycamore Gardens.''

Jax's scruff covered jaw set and his vivid blue eyes hardened-

''Fuck Zo.._Clay!''_

''Clay?!''

''That's where the fucker moved to.''

Zoe's face became the mirror image of her brothers rage right then-

''That fucker's leaking intel?!''

''He can't be doing it alone either, because he wasnt at the table or the meeting about Nevada, he's got a fucking guy on the inside Zo.''

''Jax when we find out, we put our heads together and find some was to keep Romeo and the Galindo shit off the clubs back and we kill that fucker who killed our father and spilled half of this clubs blood for his own greed. We have to do it before he kills whats left of the club including the both of us.'' she said taking his hands in hers.

Jackson nodded knowing that Clay had to die, he was never going to let the club go, not while he still had the power to draw breath-

''Ok but who the fuck is the rat Zoe?''

Zoe didnt want to think it, because it felt disloyal and just plain wrong, but it wouldnt leave her alone. Long after their chat was over, when Jax had decided to keep their chat to himself, he'd said that he couldnt take it to the table until he had proof of who the rat was and proof that Clay was behind their current issues. At the moment it was all circumstantial evidence, nothing concrete.

Zoe sat at the bar with her sketch book, going over the details in her head of who else it might be but it all came back to one person- _Juice._

She turned and saw him at his desk with Abel on his knee playing some kind of game on the computer, fuck how could she be thinking this about him? He was her best friend she could lose him forever for just suggesting this to him.

It took all of her self control to wait until lunch time, but she did, she joined him at his desk and said quietly-

''can we talk?''

Juice met her big green eyes and could see something was bothering her-

''Sure we can, are you ok here? Or do you wanna go somewhere else?''

''Dorm, I dont want anyone interrupting us.''

That made him instantly worried but he followed her lead and they went to Jax's old dorm.

Once the door was shut she paced a few seconds and then turned to him as he sat on the end of the bed-

''Hap told me about Berto.''

''Pretty fucked up shit.''

''yeah, he'd just gotten engaged to Tia, they hadnt even told their families yet...but I saw him before the run- here in Charming...near Clays house.''

His dark eyes met hers as she stopped pacing and was looking down at him, but he was confused-

''Clay? What has Clay got to do with the Mayans?''

Zoe could always tell when Juice was lying , he had one of those faces that was wide open and could hide nothing and his told her everything-

''Don't fuck with me Ortiz. Tell me what you know.''

He shook his head- ''Zo I dont know shit about Clay and the Mayans.''

''Then how about _just Clay?''_

Juice gulped, eyes stinging, hating that he couldnt hide anything form her.

Zoe's heart broke seeing him looking so guilty and so sorry-

''If you tell _me _what you know it's going to be a hell of a lot easier than having the club being the first to know. I promise you now that if you tell me and I can help you in any way I'll have your back when you tell the club.''

''He.. he's got me over a barrel here..if I didnt tell him about run details and drop times he was going to...fuck I couldnt let him do that.''

Zoe saw the tears fall from his eyes and tumble down his cheeks as his hands clutched her edge of the bed, on her knees to the side of him she took his face in her hands-

''What does he have on you?''

He shook his head squeezing his eyes shut-

''No..it's not me...its on _you _Zoe, he _knows... _he knows what you did...he knows where we hid the body, it's _you _that Clay is threatening.''

She began shaking, this couldnt be happening!Juice had turned rat to keep _her _from jail.

''Oh you dumb ass.''

she flung her arms around the lovable doofus.

He held her close to him, feeling her shaking in his arms, Jesus she was probably terrified now, she'd put all of that behind her but now it was all coming crashing down and haunting her like a phantom of the past.

''Zo I'm not going to let Clay get to you with this shit.''

She pulled back-

''Fuck that Juice, the club will deal with Clay, but you have to be the one to tell Jax about this, we both need to come clean about the past, its the only way you get out of this with your patch. We just can't keep this to ourselves any more, its too much.''

He wasnt sure how Jax was going to take this huge breech in club rules, he'd leaked intel to a former disgraced president behind his current presidents back-

''I..I did it all for you Zo...I swear on my life that I never made a dime from the intel.''

She stood up with him and hugged him close, careful of his patched up shoulder-

''I believe you Ortiz.''

He could see the fear in her eyes, it radiated from her and he couldnt have her living in fear, if it cost him his patch he'd protect her with his life. He followed her from the dorm out to the main room, seeing Happy and Jax sat at a table in the corner, deep in conversation and he felt sick to his stomach. If Hap found out as well as Jax the Killer was going to gut him like a fish with his own knife.

Zoe stopped by their table, her hand going to Happy's shoulder-

''Can we talk to the both of you?''

Jax stubbed his cigarette out eyes going over the clearly distressed pair and nodded-

''Lets take this inside church.''

The guys all took their own seats at the table as she shut the doors and took Chibs's SAA seat, nodding to Juice across the table from her.

''Jax, you and Zoe are right Clay does have a rat in the club.'' his eyes fell to his hands on the redwood, wrung together, palms soaking- ''He..he came to me and said that if I didnt do what he asked then a price would be paid.''

''You leaked intel? To Clay? After what he did to this club? This family?'' Jax glared at the guilty brother down from him.

''I couldnt let him use the information he had Jax.''

''What information?''

Juice's eyes went across the table to Zoe and she nodded at him looking pale and spooked-

''The information is on Zoe..about Justin Derby...where his body is hidden.''

Jax's eyes flew to his sister-

''What!?''

Zoe met his eyes and started the tale-

''He was going to kill me Jackson..as payment for the Sons killing his father in the cook shop explosion.''

Happy was lost, who the fuck was Justin Derby?

''Who the fuck was this guy?''

She looked to her man and stuck to total honesty-

''He was my high school boyfriend, I had no idea he was a white power nut.''

''The kid was a real fucking psycho.'' Jax gritted his teeth having to light another cigarette or he'd explode- ''Did you kill him Zoe?''

''It was the night before his dad's funeral, ma was at the clubhouse dealing with some shit, Clay was out, I was on the back porch studying, when he shows up, off his face high screaming at me about settling the score, calling me a cunt and then he pulled a gun on me.''

Jax did the math, she would have only been 17 maybe 18 at the time, Christ. She'd been home alone too, they'd all really dropped the ball there.

''What happened then?'' Jax had to know how far the little Nazi prick had gone.

''He didnt know that I was carrying, ma always said I had to when I was home alone, he... he said that we could do this the easy way or the hard way...but either way I ended up dead...he wanted to..basically fuck me one last time. I wasnt going out like that and he knew it too. The second he knocked the safety off that gun I knew I was going to die soon so I grabbed my gun from under my school books and shot first.''

''Fuck Zo.'' Jax sighed- ''What did you do?''

''You were all out in Lodi looking for Derby's cook shops, I knew Juice was at the clubhouse, he was only a prospect he was chained to the place, so I called him for help. There was a dead guy on ma's lawn with half of his head missing I had to think fast.''

Happy lit a cigarette too, moving into the seat beside her, placing a hand on her knee-

''Where the hell did you two hide the body?''

Juice looked at the Killer at how _gentle _he was with Zoe and as jealous as he was, he was willing to admit that he was pleased to see her getting taken care of and being treat with respect-

''Justin's dad's funeral was first thing the next day, Skeeter and his guys had already dug the grave ready for the burial. I dug another four feet down, put the kid in there and covered him up so the grave was the right depth and nobody saw anything wrong...guess Clay saw us, but..I only told Clay run times and drops, I didnt do anything else.''

Jax pointed at Juice-

''Tell me straight- did you know what Clay was doing with the intel?''

''No! Not until we got ambushed at the Niners meet, but I was in too deep to pull back, Clay said he'd rat Zoe out if I didnt tell him what else was coming to to table.''

She looked at her brother-

''Where do we go from here?''

His still blazing blue eyes went to Juice-

''You! I get that you were trying to protect the club and my sister _but _you still ratted. Unless you want to be stripped of your patches and handed over to Happy for some club justice, I suggest you listen good.''

Juice knew that he could very well get wiped from Sons history if he didnt go along with his presidents plan.

Jax looked around the table-

''Clay wants the gavel back and he'll kill for it, so we need to be smart here, we can't just walk up to him and cut his god damn head off.''

''Shame.'' Happy said, sounding genuinely annoyed at not being able to do this.

''We need to figure out how to remove him and not have the Irish pricks pitching a fit. Juice- you do exactly what I say and you'll make it through this alive, because if Clay opens his mouth to anyone about Zoe offing Derby's nephew- _you're out.''_

Juice nodded- ''I'll do whatever you need me to do.''

''Good because we've got no solid proof that Clay is behind the ambushes, nothing solid saying he's trying to unseat me. We have to find it all ourselves or he's going to keep coming at us.''

Zoe's brain was on the verge of getting something when it just clicked, she very nearly vaulted out of her seat-

''I know its not my place to dig into your deals, but what if it wasnt the Irish pricks giving you the hard wear for Galindo?''

Jax frowned- ''Then who?''

''Lin.''

He looked at his sister and got on to her wavelength pretty quickly-

''He's got middle east arms connections.''

She nodded- ''And Leroy is all about expanding his drug trade, his guys could move the blow. This could move the Sons free of the cartel and that takes away Clay's Irish leverage over you.''

Happy and Juice had to sit back and just watch the Teller siblings make a break through worthy of the full clubs admiration, they give the UN a run for their money. Seeing them in action first hand for the first time was incredible to Happy.

Jax smile at his sister-

''Jesus you might juts have found the light at the end of this fucked up tunnel we've been stuck in.''

Zoe smiled back- ''Dont thank me just yet bro, there's a lot of moving parts to get in order before you can go riding the car over the finish line.''

''But its got a shot at working. Now all we need to do is tie Clay to the shit storm for the club to see and then we get to handle him once and for all. Are we all in?''

Juice nodded- ''All the way.''

Happy slid his fingers through hers- ''To the end pres.''

Jax looked at his sister- ''You in?''

''You fucking bet I am.''

He looked around the table and said-

''Its on just us four for now.''

They were all sealed into this pact now, there was no going back now.

Happy let the knowledge of how deep Zoe and Juice's friendship ran sink in, the pair were bound by spilled blood. His hunch had been right all along since his first day at Samcro- Juice was the rat, ok it was with all the best intentions- keeping Zoe out of jail- but he was wide to Juice's _other _big reason too. The intel officer was in love!

His girl being a Killer- just like himself- made sense to him, it's become their common ground, something they shared, understood and respected about each other. If his girl was in any danger from the law, then he was all in, nothing and nobody was getting between them, certainly not the fucking law!

Didn't they know who they were fucking dealing with? She was the Killers girl, the princess of Samcro, the only daughter of a founding member. This wasnt just a reason to fight, this was a reason to wage a full scale fucking war!

**AN: I hope you liked it, now we know what cemented Juice and Zoe's unbreakable friendship- murder. So let me know what you think, drop me a review I love hearing from you guys. Cheers my dears :)  
**

**R&R please xx.**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: hi there I can't believe we've gotten past 80 reviews already you guys all rock the casbah! I can't tell you how grateful I am, so lets get the new stuff going shall we...**

**I only own my ocs**

**R&R**

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 12

(Gemma)

_Jealousy is a strange beast, especially for the men of the club. Their first instinct is to throw punches ans draw all the blood that they can until a sane person can steps into the room and ends it. But even the strongest bastards can waver when jealousy rears its ugly little head, it makes the bad asses and the tough bitches into insecure idiots. Its power is universal._

Zoe was packing up her kit ready for her painting class at the home down in Bakersfield, not minding that Happy was practically on point duty in the doorway to her studio.

''Hap your concern is very cute, but its not necessary I swear.''

''_Cute? _You think its fucking _cute?'' _he couldnt believe her cavalier attitude at times- ''Wanting you alive and safe isnt _cute _its smart and very necessary.''

''Ok.'' she said closing up her folding kit case and securing the brass locks- ''But a care home isnt quite the hot bed of gang land activity that you seem to be imagining.''

''No, but the ride there could be, I wish you'd let _me _ride with you.''

He didnt like that her routine didnt include him, it made him feel edgy, like shit was out of his control in a way that he wasnt used to nor comfortable with.

''Happy, Tig is more than capable and pops likes seeing Tig, so just go with it.;;

''Pops _likes Tig?''_

Zoe laughed at his clear disbelief- ''yeah they get on really well, he trusts Tigger not get get me killed and not to try and nail me.''

''wonder what the old guy will do when he finds out about _me _nailing you.'' he arched a brow at her teasingly.

''Oh you'll be public enemy number one when he hears that, but you're tough you can handle it.'' she winked straightening her her clothes as she got ready.

Happy wasnt used to be surrounded by a chicks family, people having an opinion on what he was doing, showing him open dislike and disapproval. Relationships seemed to be a weird family affair around the club, he didnt know how Jax and Tara did it.

Out on the lot she put everything into the trunk of her car Tig made his way over to his bike parked just by her, he watched the pair, he had to admit he liked seeing Zoe like this- relaxed and for want of a better word- happy. When she got all caught up in her work she scared everyone, she just got lost in it, it took everything from her. She became this exhausted, silent little ghost, wandering into the daylight every now and then, losing track of time, losing whole days most times.

Seeing her smiling up at the Killer, she was alive, vital and she was their princess once again, Tig just hoped that Happy didnt do anything to make all of that renewed joy go away, or the guys would never forgive him.

Happy leaned down and kissed her-

''Tell ma I said hi.''

''Does she even know about us?''

''No, not yet, but I'll tell her when I go see her next, but she doesnt pry into my life.''

''Hmm strange.''she mused- ''Because whenever I'd see her in the past she was constantly trying to set me up with her attractive single son.''

He could tell that she was totally serious too-

''Jesus Christ.''

''Yep, momma Lowmen was trying to pimp you out to me for so long that I was starting to run out of reasons to say no.''

He cringed, knowing that his ma could be a relentless old gal when she set her mind to something, if he had to hear the words- _'I want grand children.' _one more time, he was likely to shoot himself in the dick just to bid farewell to the lecture and the meaningful looks across the lounge whenever something related popped up on the TV.

''Zo, she's gonna be all over you to get some kinda dirt on me when I do tell her, I'll warn you now, she'll call you.'' he said feeling the need to have her prepared.

She chuckled- ''I dont mind, I love her, plus she's a total bad ass ma too.''

It made him feel pretty touched that his girl and his ma got on, it had all been going on around him and he hadnt had the first clue.

She could see that her words had pleased him, he had that rare content look to him, she got on her tip toes and kissed him, then got into her car-

''So I'll see you later and dont worry about me ok?''

He exhaled and said quietly- ''Fine, I already sleep sounder knowing you can _really _handle a gun.''

She didnt want to think about Justin Darby right then, so she just accepted the comment and smiled ready to head out.

Now that Juice had his new lead he was on a mission- to rake up as much dirt as he could on Roberto Luna. He'd not only found out that they guy was a big nerd just like himself, who'd had a scholarship to one of the best universities in the country, but that he'd lost it due to being arrested on charges of hacking into several big companies, but they couldnt make any charges stick.

Juice now understood why he'd been unable to see how they sly bastard has hacked O-Town PD, but Roberto had fucked up because the police had one of guys aliases on record and the dumb fucker had a personal cell phone in that name. It was all coming together nicely, pretty soon he'd have something to take to the table and hopefully save his patch and more importantly _save Zoe._

When Zoe and Tig pulled up to the home in Bakersfield he helped her carry her gear-

''Thanks Tigger.''

''You're welcome doll, see I can be a gentleman.''

''I was thinking that your gentlemanly traits ended at using lube with your little tarts.'' she grinned cheekily.

He couldnt help but let out his trademark cackle at her quip-

''I always lube up, its common courtesy.''

''Aww and you said you didnt do romance.''

He cocked a brow at her- ''Says the girl playing hide the foot long with the club Killer.''

Tig couldnt help but be a little disturbed by the salacious grin on her face- ''Quit that princess you're freaking me the fuck out I used to push you on the swings and you know where my freak outs end.''

''Gross keep your boner to yourself.'' she shoved him playfully.

When they got signed in and down to the art room, the class was full as always, she looked at Tig and said-

''You know the drill.''

He winked handing her the sketch books.

The class welcomed her with hugs and popping open the boxes of home made cookies, she spotted Gloria down the front, in the class filled with 15 old women in their comfy chairs and low down easels as she handed out the sketch books.

Gloria saw Zoe approaching, her huge smile cheering her up instantly, the girl always looked so well put together in her black shirt dress with its belt drawing in at her small waist all emphasising her lovely figure-

''Hello sugar, so good to see you again.''

To Zoe's delight Gloria hugged her and she gladly returned it, the woman's strength was clearly returning, she was clearly a born fighter just like her son was, it made perfect sense that her son came from such a strong woman.

''Wow you look better and better every time I see you.''

''Thank you sugar, I could say the same for you.'' Gloria raised her hand up to the girls face tilting it to the light- ''You're glowing, something tells me you've found yourself a very lucky man.''

Zoe smirked not really wanting to dish the dirt on the woman's son-

''Now that'd be telling.''

''Oh you keep your secrets, I can see it already.''

''I cant hide much from you can I.''

''Nope, Happy can vouch for that much.'' Gloria smiled.

When the class was ready she got their attention and said-

''Ok today we're going to have one of our life drawing sessions.'' she signalled for her model to enter.

The old dears who took the class always had a laugh and joke at this class and with the model, who was a total flirt.

''Afternoon ladies.'' he grinned strutting through in his white robe.

Zoe rolled her eyes at him when he reached the front of the class and said-

''Tig you are a sick man.''

''Says the girl running the senior citizen peep show.''

''Touché Trager.''

He shed his robe, not giving a shit about the reaction he always caused. Zoe could hear Mrs Atkinson adjusting her oxygen and Sylvia Oswald puffing on her inhaler, yet not one single woman got up and left. There was even a wolf whistle, which made Tig's rakish grin grow as he took up position on the stool on the raised platform.

Zoe saw his shoot Gloria a wink, stepping forward she said to him quietly-

''You might wanna reign in the arch seducer routine with that one, she'd Hap's ma.''

His blue eyes slid to her- ''You serious?''

''As a heart attack, that's momma Lowmen all right.''

Tig knew how protective Happy was of his mother, the last thing he wanted was a pissed off Killer after him-

''So that makes her practically your mother in law.''

''One word Tigger and your little modelling gig here hits the Sons message boards _pictures included.''_

That shut him up.

Once the class wrapped up and Tig had gone to get dressed she sat with Gloria by the open doors t the terrace, the shrewd woman spotted the long chain around her neck and the little 'Happy' face decorating it and she just _knew. _Her son had finally found a nice girl that she whole heartedly approved of.

''Zoe how long have you known my son?''

''Just over thirteen years now.''

She couldnt hide her shock- ''That long?''

''Yeah I first met him when I was 15, he was visiting Charming with his old Tacoma charter, he scared me half to death.'' she admitted with a soft smile.

''But you still liked him?''

''Very much, but I was just a kid.''

''Be glad that you found him _now _and not any younger, as his ma I can tell you honestly, he had a hell of a lot of living and growing up to do back then. He wasnt the easiest of sons to have at that age. But _now _he's a grown man, able to handle himself and that temper of his, he shows respect to the women in his life.''

Zoe took his ma's words on board and knew that she was right , the Happy of today was a better person than the one she'd first met, he wasnt the same guy who's rejected her so cruelly and broken her heart.

''Sugar he's a complex person and a giant pain in the ass when he wants to be, but if you're loyal to him, he'll give you the same and a lot more in return.''

Zoe liked hearing that- ''Good, because that's the only way I do relationships, I dont cheat and I dont take being cheated on either.''

Gloria liked this girls tough, no nonsense attitude that she had under that pretty face of hers, but she'd expect nothing less from a girl who hailed from the biker world and if her son had chosen her it had to be for more than her looks.

''Gloria can I ask you something about him?''

''Of course.''

''What's his _real _name?''

''Its _Happy, _well his middle name is, his first name is David. But he was such a smiley baby, all dark eyes and these big dimples, never crying or fussing like other babies, always those big smiles, I got him christened David Happy Lowmen.''

Zoe was smiling from ear to ear hearing this stuff, it meant so much to her-

''Its still unexpected when I see him flat out smiles at m, but he's one handsome guy when he lets it happen.''

Gloria nodded and said- ''Looks exactly like his father when he smiles.'' she opened the big silver locket around her neck and showed Zoe the picture.

''Wow you're old man was a real fox.''

''Oh yes he was David senior was a true heart breaker, all the girls wanted him and by some stroke of luck I caught his eye, he had the same dimples- used them shamelessly too.'' she smiled at the memory- ''Be comforted that Happy doesnt smile for just anybody.''

''That's what makes them special to me.''

''You know Zoe, I've waited years to talk to a girl like this about my boy, never once did he ever bring a girl home for me to meet.''

''Really? Not even in high school?''

''Not even then,he was more secretive then than he is now. So you can imagine how hard it was to get a word out of him.''

''I dont know how you coped.''

She smiled at the young woman- ''A will of iron and now you know where he gets his stubborn nature from.''

It was so nice to spend time with his mother and feel accepted by her, not being viewed with thinly veiled contempt and suspicion.

She met Tig in the parking lot and he'd just gotten off the phone-

''Hey doll, Jax just called with the way shit went down he wants you and Hap to stay at the clubhouse tonight just as a precaution.''

''Ok.'' she put her things back into the trunk- ''I've still got plenty of clothes there, so no need to make any stops.''

''Good, but you and Hap better keep the noise down, those walls are thin and I dont need to hear you getting a pounding from the Killer.''

''Then tear your perverted ear from the wall then.''

''I heard you two three rooms away darling, never had you pegged as a screamer.''

She cringed- ''Stop please! I dont need this talk from a guy who liked getting his junk out for ladies in their twilight years.''

Then he got a truly filthy grin on his face-

''Many a fine tune has been played on a vintage piano, you just gotta clean the dust off first.''

Zoe gasped- ''You're depraved, just dont think about doing any _spring cleaning _with Hap's ma, he'll fucking murder you and enjoy it too.''

''I'm not suicidal..just horny.''

Zoe shook her head at him as she shut the car door on his loud cackle, that man would never change.

Jax, Juice and Happy were sat by the boxing ring with the prints outs of Roberto's phone records, there they were eleven calls to Clay's cell phone, there was even a call to Clay's land line, the guy was clearly a real fucking amateur, so it was all coming together.

''I'm working on Berto's bank details too and that laptop that Phil and Rat picked up form his place, I'm clearing the passwords as we speak, should be cracked by morning.'' Juice explained.

Jax was pleased with how this was all going, it was moving along at a good pace and soon Zoe and the club would be safe.

''How do we know for sure that Clay hadnt got a contingency plan in place?'' Happy asked shoving his hands into his pockets in search for his smokes- ''He could have told someone else or had it put in writing in the event of his death.''

The two younger guys both let this possibility sink in, until Jax said-

''If this situation is a s fucked up as we're suspecting then we can't rule anything out, but when it comes time to face Clay with this shit, how about _you _get to use your special brand of _questioning _on him until we find out for sure.''

Happy read between the lines and liked that his president was giving him permission to torture Clay, all kinds of mad ideas came to him.

Juice and Jax saw the change in Happy, the Killer was creeping to the surface, his eyes has that soulless black glint to them and an eery hint of a smile made Juice take a step back from the guy. Jax heard the rumble of his sisters Mustang pulling through the gates and saw it snap Happy from his Killer mode. Fuck that was an off putting change to witness, he had no clue how his own little sister had such an effect on the guy. But the president was glad that someone had a shot at keeping him on an even keel if shit went down.

Zoe got out of her car and slung her bag over her shoulder and saw her man watching her across the way, damn he was something to see, it was the way his dark eyes travelled up her bare legs from her heels, up her body and back down again. The bitches in the club doorway just had to look on with pure envy.

She loved him without a doubt and she knew that he liked her, trusted her and liked fucking her, which was all great but it just made her wonder if his feelings would ever go beyond that? Was he the type to ever let himself fall in love? Would he allow himself to ever be that open? If so would he ever tell her? She doubted that very much.

Could she handle not hearing him saying those three little words? Would him _showing _her ever be enough?

Fucking questions!

She kissed him, fronting it out with a smile, then looked to her brother-

''Got me on lock down huh?''

''Damn right, can't have you running loose _and _armed, who knows what shit you'll stir up.'' he teased.

''Oh pipe down, I'm an angel compared to you in your 20's.''

''Oh really?''

''Face is Jackson you were a total skank magnet.''

Juice smothered a laugh, he loved seeing them ripping on each other like this, it made even some of the dullest days a little easier to bare.

That night after Zoe had showered and put on her black leggings and old Sons t-shirt she slid on her flip flops and headed out to the main room ignoring the couple of skanks hanging around the bar hoping to get lucky for the night.

Juice was just hooking up his lap top to the huge flat screen on the wall, grabbing a seat on the couch she couldnt help but ask-

''Not a group viewing of Manga porn is it?''

He laughed and said over his shoulder- ''Not this time Zo.''

''Good I'm not in the mood for 100ft demon with a laser cock.''

''Kill joy, how about a Halloween marathon instead?''

''Damn Ortiz now you're talking my language.'' she got comfy as he joined her, for their favourite horror movie of all time began.

Happy was playing pool with Jax and kept stealing glances at his girl and Juice sat very close watching their movie.

Jax took his shot-

''They do this shit all the time, they'll have you tearing your hair and finger nails out in about an hour, they run dialogue, exchange trivia and basically turn into huge geeks.''

Happy tore his eyes away long enough to take his shot.

Juice treasured their movie nights together, because he missed her not being at _their place _so much lately, he wanted her to come back. Even he didnt spend much time there now, it was too quiet, too much empty space and he couldnt stay still long enough to do anything productive with all of the extra time.

She felt so pleased to have this back-

''Can you believe that this was filmed in Pasadena?''

''And in the Spring too.'' he grinned passing her the bag of Doritos- ''Look Jamie Lee isnt even wearing a bra there!''

She nudged him- ''Creep.''

''_You _were the one who first told _me! _I very clearly remember you yelling- _'Hey you can clearly see her nipples through her shirt!' _I spilled my beer all over myself and the floor that night.''

''Oh now I remember, you went running for paper towels so fast it was like The Flash had stolen you skin you were off like a shot.''

''Funny.'' he rolled his eyes, liking the teasing, shooting her a smile, earning him one in return, flashing him those incredible cheek bones that she'd inherited from Gemma- just beautiful.

When the first movie ended he grinned and stood-

''The usual interval drinks?''

Zoe knew what that meant and she was on her feet in an instant-

''You get the chocolate going I'll get the mint liquor.''

Juice went to the kitchen as Zoe ducked behind the bar and started searching in the back of the cupboard under the bar. Phil and Rat watched as she searched through the many bottles of crazy spirits that lurked in there until they heard a delighted-

''Ah ha!''

she popped back up with a dusty bottle of green peppermint liquor.

Rat frowned- ''Zoe that stuff looks like Listerine mouth wash.''

''Not when I'm done with it it wont.'' she bounded off to the kitchen after Juice, ignoring the sluts at the end of the bar looking at her like she was on crack.

Happy was mystified by all of these little traditions that his girl had with Juice, it was like he was finally getting to see the inside of their weird little world and it was like seeing two fun loving geeky teens on a Saturday night slumber party.

Juice steadied the warm milk as he stirred in the hot chocolate powder, as she entered examining the bottle in her hand-

''I think someone is drinking this on the sly.''

He took a look too- ''We might have to start marking the bottle, no way have we used all of that. Any money says it was Tig or Koz.''

''Probably they'll drink just about everything else.''

They relaxed in each others company and he kept stealing little glances at her, all this was killing him, yes she was happy and he'd never deny her any happiness but those whiny emo kids were right about one thing- unrequited love really was the cruellest kind of love!

''I never meant to put you any danger that night, you know that right?'' he said softly.

She met his big dark eyes-

''Juan I know you'd never do that. But I made you an accessory to murder, you were totally innocent before that.''

Happy stood silently outside the door listening to the pair, wondering where this private chat was leading.

''Zo you were 17, he was going to kill you, if you hadnt shot first you'd be dead. I helped you because you were and still are my best friend and I know you, you'd have done the same thing for me.''

''You know I would have...I really did choose the wrong guy to lose my virginity to didnt I?'' she laughed.

''It could have been _very _different.'' he bobbed his brows at her suggestively.

She scowled comically- ''I really had weird taste in men.''

''I dont know, it briefly improved about 6 years ago, if my memory serves me correctly.'' he smiled sweetly.

She thought back to their night together and wondered how different things could have been if it hadnt been just _one night._

Happy frowned- were they talking about what he thought they were talking about? No way! It had to just be more of their odd teasing, he headed to the bathroom shaking his head, but the idea just wouldnt quit bothering him.

On the couches a little while later they were drinking their mint laced hot chocolate, watching Halloween 2 and Gemma joined Happy at his table in the corner, as he poured himself another shot of tequila.

Gemma had been keeping an eye on Happy, seeing him caught between confusion and clear jealousy at Juice and her girls bond, the furthest he was from knowing the pair had slept together the better if this was any indicator.

''Hey baby, you going stir crazy yet?''

''Something like that Gem.''

She sipped her black coffee, taking her time to talk to him-

''Its just their way, always has been. Used to scare the shit out of me and Jax when it first started, why do you think we had Tig sponsor him? But friendship comes in all kinds of fucking weird disguises.''

''That _all _is it?''

Gemma nodded- ''baby she doesnt need you to be a laugh a minute guy to be a movie nerd with her, that's the side the retard caters to. What she really needs is a strong bastard who's able to handle her fucked up days, when she's all in on her work, not sleeping for days, when she'd driving herself to breaking point.''

He took her words in and understood which of the men he was and how much of the real girl he was going to get to see in this role.

''Happy, I know my daughter, she's wanted you since she was in high school and I kept out of it because I saw how you looked at her too- she scared the fucking shit out of you honey.''

His dark eyes met hers, not having to say a word.

''Hap I also knew that itd take you years to do anything about it, she only wanted _you, _just remember that.''

when the second movie ended Jax, Bobby and Tig joined the movie loving pair and Bobby began inquiring about Happy making an honest woman of Zoe, which caught everyone's attention.

Juice said-

''I thought you never _wanted _to get married.''

Zoe nodded- ''I dont, it ruins everything.''

But this didnt silence the teasing at all, they all started offering her advice and generally stirring the shit. She scoffed at them and pointed to her laughing brother-

''Oh like I'm ever going to take marital advice from _you, _Mr '_I married a junky biker whore' _and then got hitched in a _brothel! _'' her eyes then went to Bobby- ''Or _you- _divorced three times.'' next was Tig- ''I dont even know where to begin with you Tigger, I honestly dont.''

Happy smiled at how well she handled that, Jesus these guys were as bad as his ma. Hearing earlier from Zoe that his mother knew about their relationship told him that he was in for some serious ear bending later from her. This playful torture would look like a walk in the god damn park in comparison.

Jesus he'd rather get shit form the club that his ma, she's be deadly serious and the last thing he needed was her slyly slipping him his gran's diamond engagement ring.

He was pretty much relieved to hear her views on marriage, they were exactly like his own and its mean far less crossed wires later on down the line if this got really serious. Despite his reassurances from Gemma about Zoe and Juice, their bond still bothered him, he wasnt sure how much reality he was ready for. Maybe this was one of the very few times that _not _having all the answers was the best option.

The past was the past, she was _his _now and nobody was fucking with that, not without a death wish!

**AN: hi I hope you all liked it, drop me a review and let me know what you think, I love hearing from you all, reviews are what keeps the cogs of this little story turning.**

**Thanks **

**R&R xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: hi there I cant thank you all enough for all of the wonderful reviews and words of encouragement for this story :) so lets get the latest chapter going shall we...**

**R&R**

**I only own my ocs**

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 13

(Tara)

_Rage and leaked secrets are pretty much the norm around here, its become boring if a day went by without drama and if there's one thing that the club doesnt do and thats- boring._

Zoe slipped out of bed, once again glad that Happy wasnt one of those cuddlers who practically had you in a sleeper hold until they woke up. Dressing and being careful not to wake him wasnt easy, but once she'd stealthily brushed her teeth and washed her face, she tip toed out of the dorm room. Happy was a total grump when he got woken up early and she was in no state to calm him down with sex either.

She'd had no clue what had gotten into him last night, he'd been like a man possessed . She'd have killed to have her handcuffs close by or even one of her many lengths of silk rope, so she could have lashed him to the bed frame, tie him down and maybe regain some of the control.

Heading along to the kitchen in her burgundy skinny jeans, biker boots and her short sleeved back shirt, she was surprised to see Kozik pouring coffee, while sporting a huge hickey on the side of his inked neck, yawning.

''Morning Herman.''

''Morning Princess, you wanna cup?''

''Thanks, bet I know where you were last night.'' she pointed to his neck, accepting the cup from him with a huge grin on her face.

Koz's matching grin flared to life too- ''What can I say? I just bring out the animal in her.''

Zoe hopped up onto the counter, cursing the action as the sting shot through her lower body, making her wince.

Kozik didnt miss a trick- ''Guess you have your own fair share of battle wounds this a.m too huh?''

''Something like that. I blame it all on my brother, Tig and Bobby.''

He arched a fair brow at her- ''Dare I even ask?''

She sipped her coffee, shifting into a slightly more comfortable position-

''Those bastards started ribbing me about getting married to Happy and finding it all so hilarious, but you know me Herman, marriage isnt very high on my list of priorities. One hour later Hap is a wild man.''

Kozik chuckled- ''Princess don't worry about the Killer, you two are on the same page with the whole marriage thing. He's not going to rush into that shit, not after the whole Angel thing.''

_Angel? _Who the fuck was this _Angel?!_

She played along to get him to talk-

''Exactly I get it.''

Koz hadnt realised that Happy had told Zoe so much about his life, especially about the Angel business-

''When he finally told me that he'd married that slut, I nearly knocked him the fuck out.''

Zoe saw red the second he said the word _married, _the cup in her hand went flying across the kitchen and smashed off the front of the fridge. Leaping off the counter with all of the grace of a jungle cat, she blanked out the pain it caused her and growled-

''He's been fucking _married?''_

He'd never been more scared of an unarmed woman in all of his 38 years-

''Shit Zo I thought you knew.''

She shook her head and stalked off.

She was so angry right then that every Son that was awake and milling around the clubhouse took one look and just knew to keep the fuck out of her way or they'd pay dearly for it.

Kozik had been totally blind-sided be her, she'd truly played him for information and he'd let out the biggest secret that Happy had ever trusted him with. Fuck he was going to be going back to Tacoma in tiny pieces, they need a shoe box to bury him in.

Juice was just opening the auto shop when he saw her marching out across to her studio, he saw Happy beckon to her from the picnic tables he'd just reached when she turned and flipped him off and yelled-

''Go fuck yourself Killer!''

Gemma and Luann in the office doorway were just stunned, so were the mechanics outside the bay doors, but the prospects basically just ran for cover, not wanting to get in this mean bastards way.

Zoe quickly locked her studio door behind herself and shoved the dead bolts into place, after that display out there he'd be hammering on the door any second. Right on cue the heavy banging began-

''Open this fucking door right now girl!''

For the first time in their relationship she was actually scared. Shaking, head still reeling form the news of his marriage, she hit 'Play' on her speaker dock and out came Pantera 'Cemetery Gates.' She froze to the spot as the soft words and guitar fought against his yelling. When the guitar really kicked in she turned up the volume drowning him out.

_Married? _He'd been fucking married! To some whore called _Angel, _what kind of a name was that? A strippers name? A porn stars name? A club skank? A total whore! There she'd been telling the guys she didnt _want _to get married, guessing from Hap's personality that he'd be on the same page as her. God she felt so stupid, he'd already done all of that with someone else.

Really, in her heart she _did _ want to get married one day, maybe a few years down the line, but you didnt go into a relationship yammering on about that kind of shit, these guys in the club needed to think that it was all their idea or itd never happen. They'd feel cornered and like every wild animal in the situation their instinct was to attack and then flee.

She couldnt believe that Happy of all people ad been the guy to do this, so much for her being one of the important firsts in his life, with their practically daisy fresh relationship. It wasnt as ground breaking as she'd thought, he'd done it all before just kept it all very quiet.

Zoe pulled a huge canvas from the rack and secured it to the low easel and knew that she had to get some of this anger and hurt out, so she then got her big paint trays out and the brushes, knowing that this was going to be one messy session. The big drop clothes were thrown over all of the completed work and she was off.

Happy stalked back across the lot, knowing something had been going on inside, because between the time he'd gotten up, to when he'd come outside was about 5 minutes flat, and in that 5 minutes it had all gotten fucked up.

Looking around the clubhouse as the door slammed behind him he eyed each and every person there-

''Who the fuck spoke to Zoe this morning?''

Everyone shook their heads, his eyes then found the croweaters at the bar, one gulped-

''Speak!''

''She- she was having coffee in the kitchen with Koz when I got out of Chibs's room.''

He was striding off to the kitchen, where he found the blonde Son throwing pieces of a broken mug into the trash and Emily Duncan was mopping the coffee off the floor. Happy snapped his fingers rudely at the woman, she knew to leave without question. Koz sighed clearly knowing what was about to come-

''Come on what the fuck did you say to her?''

The blonde rubbed his eyes- ''It was a total accident, she kinda let me believe that she already knew.''

Hap stepped closer- ''Knew what?''

''About you and angel.''

Kozik didnt see it coming, but Happy's fist collided with his face so quick that he was flat on his ass amongst the kitchen chairs before he could blink, hearing Happy tell in that blood curdling voice of his-

''You fucking prick, I could kill you right now!''

People seemed to melt out of sight as he stalked the clubhouse just looking for a fight.

By lunch time Zoe had just gotten a text from Kelly about Happy breaking Koz's nose and that Tia Alvarez was freaking out about Roberto going AWOL. Christ it was all going to hell around there now.

The painting she was working on had started out as just angry splashes of luminous paint, but when she'd started dry brushing black on to the chaotic canvas it had started taking on form and as she carried on it had clearly become a picture of herself walking away from the reaper- on the fucked up ironic symbolism wasnt lost on her at all.

Throwing her brush down, she screamed until her lungs burned, she ran her paint caked fingers through her loose hair and threw herself down on the chez, reaching underneath for her stash of weed and papers and broke her rule about never smoking in her studio. She rolled the joint slowly as Nirvana 'Come As You Are' started to filter through the room, she stepped on the controller gingerly with the toe of her boot increasing the volume carrying on rolling. Once she'd lit up she fired out a text to Juice.

Juice got the text and was slightly baffled by the message- _'hey Juan can u bring ur laptop 2 studio?'_

Knowing that she was sending the Killer into a rampage with her studio based isolation Tig had taken him off the lot to give everyone a break, so in case he came back he had to keep this trip to the studio off the radar.

So he text back agreeing having no clue what she needed his lap top for.

_'Ok but have the door unlocked dont wanna have 2 face the Killer AND a locked door.'_

He picked up his computer and tried not to look at all suspicious but that was harder than it sounded, he was about a s subtle a s flying cinder block at the best of times. He all but ran across the lot when he spotted Happy riding through the back gates with Tig. He practically dived through the studio door, thanking god that it was unlocked or he'd have wrecked his healing shoulder.

Zoe laughed seeing him enter-

''Wow all that was missing from that entrance was a commando roll.''

Juice was jamming the bolts into place-

''You'd be jumpy too in my shoes, Happy just came rolling through the gates, looking just as pissed off as when he left three three hours ago.''

She slid across the chez making room for him-

''That's why I need your help.''

Curiosity sparked as he sat beside her-

''Is this going to explain Koz's broken nose and Hap's manic 8 hour reign of terror in the clubhouse?''

''Yes and I need you to dig into something that Kozik told me.''

''now that sounds full of intrigue.'' he grinned.

''You could say that- I want you to dig up as much dirt as you can on David Happy Lowmen.'' she said with a perfectly straight face.

''Happy? Seriously?'' his brown eyes went wider than she'd ever seen them at her request.

''There's more- and his _wife _called Angel.''

Juice's grin crept in as he got nervous-''You're yanking my chain right?''

''I wish I was babe, Koz revealed this dirty little secret this very morning.''

''A wife?! Fuck this is unbelievable Zo.''

''No shit Ortiz, why do you think I told him to go fuck himself.''

''Ok that explains that sure.''

The lap top was opened and he was off like a shot, he was stunned that a guy like Happy being married, a guy who never showed any woman anything but his famous nail and bail side- until he'd snared Zoe. Juice had just assumed the guy was like 90% of all Sons- not into relationships and ties.

Thirty minutes later and one shared joint, he hit pay dirt-

''Bingo- David Happy Lowmen and Angel Love- yes seriously that's her name, but she was born Angela Levinstien .'' he said as Zoe scoffed in disbelief- ''Married in 2008..in _Vegas- _so fucking classy.''

She lunged forward- ''Are they even divorced?!''

He searched and snorted in amusement- ''It was annulled after two days, so it was clearly he romance of the century.''

Zoe refused to laugh- ''Can you find a picture of the skank?''

''Darling I can find out anything you need, just give me a second.''

she barely had time to crack open her can of Pepsi when he said-

''I'm just on fire today.''

She could see him biting back laughter as he spun the lap top screen to face her and she nearly choked on her mouth full of soda when she saw the picture he'd found-

''Fuck me she looks like a god damn blow up doll!''

Yep Angel Love- the former Mrs Lowmen was bleach blonde, with huge fake tits, lips so full of collagen and swollen she looked like she'd been giving head to a beehive. Her eye brows looked like they been tattooed on , her nose had been worked on, everything on her was fake, her false lashes nearly touch her crazy eye brows, team that with a dark tan and all Zoe could think was- _what the fuck was he on at the time!?_

''He married that?''

Juice nodded- ''For 48 glorious hours.''

''Christ I need a drink.''

He handed her his hip flask from the inside pocket of his cut, which she took a long pull form before handing it back. Juice looked at her after shutting the lap top down-

''why does it bother you so much? I get that he didnt tell you, but everyone has a past, no matter how shocking.''

''It bothers me because I've changed my mind about something and he's not going to change his.''

''Go on.''

''I _want _to get married one day, but he's now all anti-marriage and he looked so fucking _relieved _ when I said last night that marriage screws everything up. So its practically set in stone now, he's had one fuck up with that plastic hooker looking slut and thats it- door sealed shut.''

Juice was so close to telling her that she _could _still have all of that, but she was with the wrong guy, Juice wanted to give her that and a whole lot more- marriage, security, affection, honesty and _kids too._

''Once my jobs winds down to a steadier pace in a few years time, I want more than an empty house with a guy who only lets me so far into his life. I'm not one of those girls who's all about the post sex cuddling, but he's not that type of guy either, but now that its not on offer I'm actually starting to miss that affection.''

It wasnt easy for him to hear about their sex life, but he found himself cursing Happy, did that guy have the first clue what he had? He had the life that Juice would slit his own wrists for!

''Guess its time to weigh up the pro's and cons of being with him.'' he suggested.

She curled into his side loving being held by his, knowing that Juice was right.

Later that night when she emerged from her studio ready to head home and sleep, she saw Happy sat on the hood of her car smoking- just perfect. She got a flash of his _ex wife's _plastic face and her GG rack in her head and couldnt even look at him.

Happy could see that she wasnt just pissed, she was hurt too and he had to get her talking some how-

''Look at me girl.''

Still she refused, her car keys just jingling in her hand, he knew it wasnt the time or the place and he hated causing a scene in public, especially when it was something so private but he had to get her talking-

''Zoe fucking look at me, its the least you can do after the way you disrespected me in front of the club today. Any other bitch would have been picking her teeth up off the concrete.''

She met his eyes with a deadly scowl and said-

''Disrespect? What do you call having a secret ex-wife? Mr anti-marriage? You dont even refer to me as your _girlfriend!''_ she hadnt meant to say that last bit it just flew out- ''That's disrespectful too Hap!''

''Keep your god damn voice down.'' he seethed.

''Why? Who gives a shit who knows? Everyone will know by morning anyway, they all gossip more than the old lady network does.''

He sneered at her knowing that he had to regain the upper hand to save face, so he did what he did best when it came to girls- he wounded with words, reverting back to the guy he'd been 6 years ago-

''Look at yourself, still acting like a fucking kid. Face it you're too fucked in the head to even put a crow on, never mind a fucking ring!''

She shoved the key into the door of her car and knew that only one thing would wipe the look of triumph off his hard face and shock him and the whole audience they'd gained by the boxing ring-

''Well, that's not what Juice thought six years ago when we spent the night fucking each other senseless and man does he know how to fuck!''

she slammed the car door shut after herself and hit the locks as his heavy fist pounded on the roof, she sped off very nearly clipping him as she made her great get away.

Over by the boxing ring all eyes went to Juice and Opie took pity on the guy and patted his shoulder-

''Unless you wanna die I suggest you take the SUV and get the fuck out of here.'' he dropped the keys into his hands and wished him good luck.

Juice fled the compound to put as much space between himself and the rampaging Killer.

Gemma and Luann were next to leave knowing that in this state Zoe was a total loose canon, she could end up coming back with a tyre iron to break his legs or a gun to actually finish him off. They needed to get her good and drunk until she passed out at home where she was safe.

''Jesus Gem they've got some fucking dangerous chemistry.''

''Yo can say that again, it's like a god damn nuclear bomb.''

Zoe slammed the car door so hard she ended up shattering the glass-

''Fuck!''

This just wasnt her day at all, she got inside and headed straight to the drinks cabinet and found the brandy, bless her ma for stocking the good stuff. She poured a generous measurement into the glass and sat at the long dining table, that god damn bird eyeing her wolf whistling like crazy, fuck Tig for teaching the little grey bastard to do that!

She'd just steadied her shaking hands when a car pulled up the side of the house, she pulled her hand gun from her purse and waited for the back door to open, in stepped her ma and Luann. Her mother raised her brows behind her bangs-

''Expecting your boyfriend?''

''Yeah with a really big fucking weapon and I promise that right now thats not a euphemism.'' Zoe replied with a perfectly straight face, flicking the safety back on.

Gemma grabbed another two glasses as Lu topped up Zoe's empty one-

''Honey that took some real brass balls for you to stand up to Happy like that.''

''Lu it was suicide.''

''Yeah thats a-given but it still took balls.'' she grinned at the younger girl while sitting down.

Gemma sat too and sipped her drink-

''You broke a rule too baby, you started shit between two brothers, by outing your little stolen night of passion with Juice.''

''he was being a prick of epic proportions ma and he's god damn lucky that I didnt shoot him out side the clubhouse.''

''Baby you were totally in the right but he'll make you pay for it too.'' Gemma said knowingly.

Zoe sighed- ''Not sure if I care right now...or at all, its exhausting.''

Luann reached over and patted her hand-

''You gotta be damn sure you're ready to walk away before you end it, because he'll be on a mission the second that you do. He'll fuck every slut in that clubhouse right in front of you, he'll fuck them in your dorm room, on your sheets, he'll let them wear your clothes too, you name it honey. He'll stoop to the lowest low.''

''Maybe I wanted it all too much?'' Zoe said swiping a tear from her cheek- ''When did loving someone get so hard?''

''We've all been there. Look at me and Otto.''

Zoe felt guilty as sin now, Lu and her ma had had it hardest of all, Otto was on death row and her own father was 6ft under and she didnt even want to think about what Clay had done to her ma.

Before they could go any further a car pulled up in the second parking space and an urgent knock came to the back kitchen door. Lu got up getting her gun half expecting Happy, but she got a surprise when she tilted the blinds. Opening the door she smiled-

''Now dont you look the picture of collected calm.''

''Can I crash here?'' Juice asked all wide eyes.

Gemma and Zoe had to laugh at how freaked out he sounded.

''Get that cute butt in here Ortiz.'' Zoe called.

He stepped inside- ''Thanks so much, I was kinda wary of going home, I kept imagining Happy breaking in and killing me.''

Gemma got him a cold beer and patted his hand-

''I'd usually say that it was all the weed fucking with your brain but on this occasion you're probably right, I'll go make up the guest room sweetheart.''

''I'll get the towels.'' Luann said wanting the kids to have some time alone to talk it all out.

Zoe looked at him guiltily-

''I'm so so sorry for outing us and landing you in the shit, he got me so fucking angry.''

''Its ok I guess...at least I know how you rate me in the sack now.'' he grinned taking a swig form his bottle his smile clear as day, liking that she actually blushed, that as a rarity in itself.

''Oh hell I really jumped in with both feet didnt I?''

''Oh yeah you did.''

''I'm so sorry.''

''Would you stop apologising, neither of us have the best few weeks are we?''

she could agree with him there.

They ended up on the couch together with only the fire lighting the room, she'd long since fallen asleep beside him, her head resting on his thigh, as his mind drifted back to a night a long time ago, eleven years to be exact...

(Flashback)

_Juice and Zoe were sat by the fire pit in Gemma and Clay's garden on a Friday night, it was his duty as the Prospect to look after Zoe for the night and keep her horny little boyfriend out of the house and out of Zoe. Clay's orders were clear- if the boyfriend showed up Juice could punch him if it kept the princess safe and still in possession of her virginity. Even Gemma was ok with this rule._

_He could see something was on her mind and she was all chewed up over it-_

_''Something you wanna talk about?''_

_The gorgeous girl looked at him, so unsure, that adorable little frown creasing her brow-_

_''Juan do...do you think I'm...pretty?''_

_The question and its innocence had thrown him-_

_''Erm..no.''_

_He saw her blinking rapidly, tears threatening to fall any second as the hurt set in, scooting closer her took her face in his palms gently, wiping away the now falling tears-_

_''Zoe you're not pretty, because you're fucking beautiful.''_

_Without thinking he did what he'd been wanting to do since he'd shown up in Charming a year ago, just after his 21st birthday and seen her in her school uniform at the scary age of just 16- he kissed her._

_His lips gently touched hers at first, not sure of her reaction, but she leaned in closer, accepting, welcoming and most of all encouraging him._

(Present)

That kiss had been the first of several once Luke was out of the way, stolen kisses in the auto shop, the office, the bathrooms, his dorm room and even once in her bedroom when he'd snook through her bedroom window. It'd gone on until she left for college at 18, it had never gone further than kissing and touching, but he'd always hoped and never pushed her for more, he left it all up to her. They'd exchanged emails every day that she was away at college and when she came home for visits they would spent lots of time together jut being themselves, nothing fake just who they really were- _two nerds._

He carefully eased her sleeping form up into his arms and easily carried her up the stairs to bed, he was glad to see that Gemma or Lu had already turned down her bed for her. He unzipped her boots and set them down by the door, taking care when he covered her up not to disturb her. She snuggled down making cute sleepy noises of contentment that made him smile.

''Love you Juan.'' she said softly.

He stroked her paint streaked hair- ''Love you too Zo.''

leaving her to sleep he headed to the guest room, heart still racing from hearing her say those words to him.

Happy sat in the arm chair alone at his place, shirtless, lights off and beer in hand, gun resting on his jean clad thigh, watching Juice's place. This was one of his many suspicions about Juice coming to fruition, he could let the rest go, but when it came to his girl, he just couldnt, it tore him up.

All of this _feeling _business was pretty new to him, so falling for Zoe was really kicking his ass. Finding out that Juice and Zoe had had sex was a taste of his own medicine that he was having real difficulty swallowing. He got that his drunken, coke fuelled _marriage _had thrown her, but it didnt count as a _real _marriage, he'd been high of his face for a pretty fucked up reason too...

(Flashback)

_5 Years ago- Charming._

_Happy pulled up to the clubhouse with Kozik, they were only staying one night, before they headed to Oregon. Jax and Clay had come out to meet them and then as the greetings ended he'd seen Zoe exit the office looking cute as hell. But what pissed him off was the fact that she was heading over to black BMW where a really well groomed tall guy in navy blue medical scrubs was leaning smiling at her._

_Koz raised his shades seeing the sight too-_

_''Pres who's the stiff man handling the little princess?''_

_Jax chuckled as Clay just shook his head-_

_''Oh you can thank Tara for that she set them up together, that's Dr Steve- heart surgeon.''_

_Happy had wanted to pull out his gun and blow out the guys knee caps then take the knife at his hip and gut the fucker, for daring to touch that girl. The very girl who'd been blushing at him through her teens and then offering herself to him less than a year ago at 22. To Happy touching her was crossing a line and as fucked up as he knew that it was, he felt like only he had the right to ever touch her._

(Present)

He felt like a fool now for behaving like such an immature dick when they'd gotten to Oregon the next day. Once they'd arrived, his head was still firmly in Charming, but his body was drunk and high on whatever the Oregon guys had to shove up his nose, it had ended up with him going AWOL in Vegas with an Oregon sweet butt called Angel, fuelled by jealousy, coke and stupidity over Zoe and the doctor and the rest was history.

He drained his beer knowing that he'd gone off on her pretty badly at the clubhouse saying what he had to her, but she'd have saved herself a lot of trouble if she'd just talked to him like an adult and not acted like a pouting child.

He glanced down at the gun on his thigh, knowing he'd hardly been a rational adult when he'd gotten home, he'd gone straight to the foot locker in his closet and loaded the desert eagle. But what guy would be calm in his situation?

His head was spinning with questions about what his girl had done with Juice if...he'd been _better._ Christ he didnt _do _shit like moping over a chick! In the past he'd fuck a girl and then move on to the next never once looking back, but he couldnt make himself do that, not with Zoe, it was a whole new ball game and he was still learning the rules. Christ how did you do this and not look like a total fucking pussy?

Was that even possible? Fuck only knows!

**AN: I hope you liked it, because I LOVED writing it, drop me a review with what you thought, dont be shy I love hearing from you all :)**

**R&R thanks xx.**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: wow you guys are amazing those reviews were something else, you broke my review record by miles so cheers my dears lets roll on with the new chapter. Sorry that its later than usual, but my laptop is getting fixed so I'm typing on my boyfriends desk top that he's super protective of, I'm pretty sure itd be the one thing he'd save if we ever had a fire- desk included!**

**So enjoy.**

**R&R**

**I only own my ocs.**

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 14

(Zoe)

_when you're constantly trying to avoid a secret becoming public knowledge, its a massive relief when its finally out in the open. Ok, there's all of the initial fall out from the bomb going off, but once all of the dust and ashes have come down, you get to survey the damage and begin the big salvage and the search for survivors._

Zoe woke up at 7am, knowing that there was so much shit to face when it came to Happy. That guy was going to be murderous for days if not weeks. On the surface he'd look fine but it was all about the subtext and the mask he kept it all behind. After yesterdays revelations, how could this _ever _be cleared up with any semblance of sanity?

Ok, she'd mused about maybe not trying to save her relationship with Happy but in the early light of day that was just crazy talk. But, it was going to be ridiculously volatile when it came time to be face to face with him, one wrong words and BOOM its be on again. People would probably start selling tickets just to witness it.

She put the coffee maker on and waited, her mind creeping to the night that had landed her and Juice in this dangerous situation in the first place with Happy's rage. The night that they'd given in to years of sexual tension and just done what had badly needed doing...

(Flashback- 6 years ago)

_Juice sat on the lounge floor with his back to the couch, the rain began battering the windows as Zoe's fingers worked their magic on his tense shoulders, damn he was so knotted up, but his skin was so soft under her lotioned fingers._

_If the guys from the club could see them now they'd never shut up, after all no Son let his shoulders get massaged with jasmine scented body lotion, especially not by the princess. Well not if he wanted to survive and live a torture free existence. This was just torture for her 22 year old libido, especially when she hadnt gotten laid in so so long. Her last attempt had been a disaster- thanks for the confidence zap Hap! Fuck now she was mentally rhyming!_

_The second that Juice had taken his shirt off and been in only a pair of low slung basket ball shorts, she'd been in lust based hell. They'd been living together for almost a year now and he was so close to getting sexually assaulted by her it was even funny any more. He'd wander around the house freely in the tightest boxers she'd even seen and they his nothing at all. Then came the massages- it was like he was testing her self restraint, you couldnt do that shit to a sex starved girls. It was the equivalent of putting a starving girl in front of an all you can eat buffet then tying her to a chair ten feet away from it. It was jut cruel!_

_Juice couldnt stand up even if he wanted to, he was rock hard, just like he was every time she massaged him...fuck it was getting worse, he now associated that jasmine lotion with her hands on his and arousal, his sex drive had been conditioned . One whiff of that lotion and he was hard, after she'd taken a shower was by far the worst offender. The jasmine scent hung in the stem filled air, so it filtered through the whole house._

_He'd either have to lock himself in his room to handle things alone, or he'd have to get his horny ass on his bike head for the clubhouse and make use of all of the scattered free pussy that hung around like a bad smell. It was official he was now a bubbling crock pot of sexual crazy!_

_Her fingers kneaded out a deep knot and he groaned, Christ alive she knew how to use those hands of hers, she was an artist in every way-_

_''Fuck Zo.'' he groaned._

_Zoe smirked- ''That good for you Ortiz?''_

_He exhaled- ''hell yeah Teller.''_

_''What can I say? I'm good with my hands.'' she said in her most flirtatious voice._

_Juice liked how her breath touched his neck, he looked over his shoulder at her, seeing the flush to her cheeks-_

_''Bet they know a thing or two.''_

_she held his dark gaze and said-_

_''Maybe, why are you feeling left out baby?''_

_the question hung in the air, the tension building as the first flash of lightning and rumble of thunder rolled in, the lightning has successfully knocked out the lights and he picked this time to just lunge for her pinning her to the sift couch._

_Zoe met his oh so soft lips with equal ferocity her legs latching around his hips, pulling him closer, loving the feel of his arousal pressing heavily just below her navel._

_Juice loved the way her long legs wrapped around him, the way her DD rack felt pressed into his chest. But her kiss- fuck he'd really missed this, Zoe was all woman now, she'd grown up and she wasnt shy, she kissed and touched him like he'd always wished for but never pushed for._

_She slid her hand down his perfectly toned chest and down his chiselled abs and right down his his straining arousal, loving how he moaned into her mouth. He drew back to catch his breath a little more, keeping her eyes on his she asked-_

_''Do you want me Juan? Do you really want me?''_

_''God yes, I...I want you, fuck dont stop.''_

_She licked his lower lip when he'd finally stopped biting it, soothing it with a gentle sweep of her tongue and then she gave it a gentle suck-_

_''Good because I cant wait any longer, you're a solid gold pussy tease you know that.''_

_he let out a shuddering laugh then said-_

_''Hang on princess.''_

_she did as she was asked and then he hoisted her up into his arms ans smiled as he lifted her with ease. They ended up in his bedroom as they bid farewell to the last of the day light as the storm took a hold. He lay her on his perfectly made bed and set about lighting the candle he had dotted around every flat surface in the place._

_He was pretty much thanking every god that he knew the name of for this amazing turn of events, he couldnt turn her down, she meant too much to him and this had to happen, yet why was he still feeling so scared?_

_Zoe sat up on the bed as a loud rumble of thunder sent chills down her spine, tearing her eyes from the window she looked at the frankly beautiful man in front of her, with his rocking body and his ever innocent eyes, as they just took her in. there was something so tender in those brown eyes, it was a world away from Happy, who had an unyieldingly harsh nature and seemingly no mellow side to speak of._

_Yet Juan could be gentle, caring, sweet and so loving and right then he was just who she needed. Zoe had been shocked at how free he made her feel, it no longer mattered that she hadnt slept with another guy in ages, she wasnt even wary of letting her freak side out for him, which was a break through for her._

_He let her tie him to the bed and dominate him and in return she'd indulged his own little fetish too, after round two she'd let him shave her already tidy bikini line. Being the doofus that he was he'd gifted her with her own personal lightning bolt by candle light ._

_She was in awe of what his body could make hers feel, when she lay back on his bed admiring his handy work she had to laugh, he walked over to the bed smiling from ear to ear-_

_''Pretty good skill huh?''_

_''I kinda like it.'' she grinned- ''Plus I appreciate your manscaping too .'' her eyes indicated to his very well trimmed crotch._

_''I take pride in my appearance and unlike what Tig and Opie think, its not at all gay.'' he said feeling so relaxed._

_''Oh I totally agree with you there.'' she slid to the end of the bed and reached up to touch his swollen lower lip gently- ''Sorry about biting you.''_

_He stroked down her wrist- ''Its ok, its kinda hot, had no idea that you liked it kinky and rough.''_

_''Sometimes...but other times I just want it to be...soft and slow.''_

_Juice leaned own and kissed her slowly, running his fingers through her hair loving the silken texture against his skin, his fingers holding the back of her neck as he whispered against her lips-_

_''That I _can _give you.''_

_Zoe had been so caught up in their passion during the storm that it hadnt just felt like two friends giving into the sexual tension any longer, it actually felt like making love. It scared her because even her first time hadnt been this special. Yet it made her see once and for all what she'd been missing._

_It was the first time that she'd ever had a guy slowly explore her body, she'd never had them draw out her pleasure until she was shaking from the long awaited release. He didn't just take from her body, he gave back in equal measure, they truly were in this together and the way he told her how beautiful she was, for the first time in her life she actually _felt _beautiful too._

_Juice had never seen this side of Zoe before, she looked up at him with such happiness and she looked so damn young and innocent that he couldnt help but think that this was how her first time should have been! He knew the details of her first time and they'd shocked him- itd happened against Justin Derby's bedroom wall, that was not how something monumental was supposed to go down._

_He leaned down and kissed her with every ounce of emotion he was feeling, as the thunder rolled in again this time right above the house and he loved how she embraced him, keeping them so close that he could feel her heart beating against his own chest. He'd never felt as wanted in his whole life._

_Afterwards Zoe didnt hesitate or feel uncomfortable, she settled against his chest. Loving the way his arms held her close, stroked her hair, the way his foot stroked the top of her own beneath the covers. It was like he was trying to memorise the exact feel of everything they were experiencing together._

_To him it felt good to be with a girl who'd been genuine in her responses to him, who he actually wanted to hold and share the post sex intimacy with, he'd never had anything close to this kind of togetherness...only they weren't really together._

_She didnt feel like he was about to kick her out either, unlike a certain other Son would have, Juice was a true one in a million guy, he'd also snatched up the vacant title of ''best sex of her life.'' he'd made her body feel things that she'd had no clue her body could feel. But this is what she'd never had before- the cuddling, the ability to let go and have it be ok, not have this soft tide of her be seen as weakness. He didnt make her feel weak. She actually felt strong for the first time in a very long time._

(Present)

Zoe couldnt help but look back fondly on that night, it had been a revelation, it'd put her a lot more in touch with her gentler side, she'd been comfortable enough to be girlie around him. It suddenly felt ok to cuddle up to him, to slide her fingers through his, to idly trace his tattoos in an attempt to find out where he was most ticklish- all that light hearted good stuff that it _should _feel ok to do.

Putting her cup in the dish washer she sighed, Christ why was it so very different with her and Happy? They had mind blowing sex, they were a pair of fucked up freaks, both with 'dead father' issues going unresolved just beneath the surface, so why did it always feel like she couldnt show him her softer side? Like all he could see was the tough bitchy flirt side of her.

It was like he permanently kept her at arms length too, she'd learned mo0re about him from his mother than she had from the man himself. All she'd found out from him was that he was a total neat freak and that he never wore the same socks two days in a row, apart from that- fuck all!

''Fuck.'' she growled turning to see her ma stood there, brow arched looking so hot for this hour, what time did she get up and start getting the queen look in place? this was incredible.

''Morning baby, you ready to face the firing squad with your man?''

''Not at all.''

''Well Tellers dont back down, they face their shit.'' Gemma said pouring herself a cup of he fresh coffee.

''If thats true then explain Jax marrying Wendy after Tara went to Chicago.'' Zoe smirked.

''Smart ass.'' Gemma said raising a smile from her baby girl- ''Last night was for your own personal safety, I get why you bolted, but its a new day and you get your hot little butt to the clubhouse and clear up your mess.''

''_My mess? He's the one who has the secret biker cunt wife!'' _she cringed at her own crude words, but when she got pissed her mouth took the reigns instead of her brain- ''This is at the very least 40% his fucking mess too.''

Gemma rolled her eyes- ''So did you actually do the smart thing and sleep _alone _last night?''

''Ma!''

''Oh forgive my presumptions princess, but when you're pissed you make some stupid moves and we both know the fall out of those moves now dont we?''

Zoe's eyes went wide knowing exactly what her mother was referring to-

''Lets not rake that shit up this morning shall we?''

(Flashback ) SIX YEARS AGO- ONE MONTH AFTER THE LIAISON.

_Kelly and Zoe were at the drug store in town going over the rows of boxes-_

_''How do panicking women do this? Why have _this _many choice at this scary of a time?'' Zoe ranted._

_Kelly's blue eyes went wider-_

_''Shh! Do you want all of Charming to know?''_

_''No!''_

_''Then shut up.''_

_Kelly started grabbing box after box of pregnancy tests, shoving them into the basket on her arm, laving nothing to chance._

_''Kell that's like $100.''_

_''Zoe listen to me- do you really think that this is the time when you want to start living frugally?''_

_Zoe shrugged- ''Guess not.'' the relentless sick fear rose up again- ''Christ how could I be so stupid, we didnt use protection the last time and I didnt even notice, fucking amateur mistake.''_

_''Its not like you asked for it Zoe, mistakes happen. Do you think either of were planned? Not a fucking shot in hell, and I'm pretty sure that I was conceived during a conjugal visit while my dad was in Stockton the first time around.''_

_''You were not, I'll take your suspected prison hook up and raise you a suspected diner parking lot, right here in town.'' Zoe cringed._

_''You might actually be right about your conception, my ma did mention that once, who knew 'Hanna's' diner had such a happening parking lot back in the day?''_

_They got interrupted by the clicking of high heels getting really close, they both slowly turned praying for Luann or the ministers wife, anybody but who they saw- Gemma. Both girls gulped seeing the queens eyes go to the basket of pregnancy tests-_

_''Jesus Christ which one of you is it?''_

_Zoe was pretty sure she was about to throw up on her mothers brand new gorgeous heels at that moment._

_''Its me.'' Kelly said quickly- ''You know...life on a porn set..you- you can't swing a double ended dildo without getting hit with...some guys DNA...its really..kinda gross.''_

_Zoe cringed, bless Kelly for trying, but her lies sucked more than her mothers highest paid porn star did._

_Gemma's hands went to her hips-_

_''Nice try Delaney, so Zo wanna tell me who might have knocked you up? And if you say 'some random guy at a party' I'll kill you right here.''_

_''It...it was ..oh fuck it.. it was Juice.''_

_''You fucking what? The retard? Seriously?'' she saw her daughter was telling the truth- ''Buy that shit and get back to my place I wanna be there when you do each and every one of those tests.''_

_In her state of shock she couldn't help but ask- _

_''Shouldn't you be yelling at me or slapping me?''_

_''Probably but you could have gotten knocked up by a lot worse baby, you could say that I'm hoping my first grand child comes from you and not Jax and that junky whore.''_

_Zoe cringed not wanting to be pregnant at all, not because it could be by Juice, but because she was 22, her career had just hit the big time ad she had a whole big world to go out and discover outside of the club. She was over 10 years away from being ready for a possible pregnancy._

(Present)

Zoe had never been happier to see eight negative results in all of her life, it had also been that last time she'd been able to stomach peach flavoured iced tea, she must have drank about six pints of the stuff to get through all of those tests.

Juice walked into the kitchen just closing his cell over-

''Morning,k Jax just called church I'm heading in, you coming too Zo?''

''Yeah I'll follow you in, I need my window fixing.'' she said feeling so unsure about all of this, there was soi much that could go very very wrong.

''Did Hap break it?'' Juice frowned.

''No all my own fault.''

twenty minutes later they were both pulling into their parking spaces, as he headed inside all he could think about was Happy sitting across the redwood form him glaring holes right through him, just waiting for the chance to put his well thought out plan of revenge into practice.

Happy had had all night to think shit through and part of him knew that killing the guy wasnt an option, that would get him stripped of his patch and he'd then be no better than their former president in the eyes of the club. He'd have to be an adult and deal with things with as much rationality as he could muster up.

So, he blanked him when he saw him walk into the clubhouse looking like a scared dog, eyes darting all over the place like he was just waiting for a bullet to find his ass. Moron!

Ok, she couldnt waste any more time hiding out in her studio, she was acting like a kid, _strap on a pair Teller! _She mentally berated herself and started the journey up to the clubhouse.

Church was still going on when she got inside, so she headed along to Jax's old dorm room. When she opened the door she got the shock of her life, there laid out on the bed was her brothers old booty call- Charity- legs akimbo, going commando too.

This bitch had been trying her luck since Jax had gotten back with Tara, now she was just trying everyone's patience-

''Jesus Christ Charity cover up your god damn snatch, _nobody _wants to get all up in that slack thing. It looks damn near dilated for birth you slut! Now get out of here before I kick your ass then go and tell my sister in law what you've been trying to pull in here!''

Charity was shit scared of Zoe, way more than she'd ever be of Tara, so she quickly picked up her panties and got the hell out of there.

Happy stood leaning against the wall behind her out in the hall, actually smirking at Zoe's ever colourful language, he couldnt help it, the second he'd come from church he'd seen her heading for the corridor and he'd just gone to her.

No way way she leaving the skank perfumed sheets on the bed, so she reached over and tore them free-

''God damn club sluts, nothing is sacred to them, not even a girls sheets.'' she grumbled, turning to the door only to come face to face with Happy- fuck!

He pushed off the wall across the corridor and walked close enough to block the door way and her route of escape-

''I think we've got some talking to do.''

She stepped back, arms full of sheets, hating the finality of him shutting the door behind himself. She knew that this could get ugly, dumping the sheets in the old rocking chair, she squared her shoulders and met those impossibly dark eyes of his, no running from this now.

Happy was proud of the strength that she showed him, but her face gave nothing away, her thoughts were a complete mystery to him-

''You gonna say anything ?'' he inquired

''Just waiting to see if you're gonna punch me for telling you about Juan.''

punch her? What the fuck?!

''Are you fucking crazy girl?''

''You tell me Hap, you said only last night that I was too fucked in the head.''

he clenched his jaw willing himself not to rise to her words or to be effected by her bland tone and growled-

''I'd never lay a finger on you, you know that Zoe.''

''You see thats where you're wrong, I dont know a thing about you really, the _real you _is a complete stranger to me.''

''That's bullshit Zo.''

she shook her head- ''No its not, if I'm so clued up on you tell me why I had no clue that you'd been married? To biker trash no less!'' she seethed hating every second of this whole head fuck of a situation.

He exhaled impatiently-

''Watch you tone princess...it wasnt a marriage it was a fucked up reaction to a fucked up time I found myself in, but you've had some pretty big secrets of your own hiding away away havent you? Fucking around with your precious little Juan Carlos, now I'm almost impressed that you two had gotten away with that one, I'll give you that.''

''All you ever had to do was _ask _ and I'd have told you anything you ever wanted to know, but that's where me and you are two very different people. If Koz hadnt le slip about it, I'm pretty sure that you'd never have told me, volunteering that kinda shit isnt your strong suit.''

Happy knew that she was right there, he probably wouldnt have ever told her about Angel and their two day fuck up, because deep down he was ashamed of who he'd reverted back into during that period of his life.

She reads him easily for once-

''Exactly what I thought. Yes I get that its in the past but you were still married to one of those bitches who set out to make club life hard for girls born into the life. Those sluts are all the same, they are the same bitches who made life unbearable for me and Kelly when we were just kids, teenagers. I was here all the time at that age and I was this awkward 13 year old, who was skinny and blushed all the time and they made my life hell when nobody was around. To me you married into that shit.''

He couldnt believe the bitches in the mother charter had ever had the nerve to do that to her, no wonder Zoe had a vicious way with them now, they'd driven her to it over the years.

''But do you know what made me change Hap?''

''What?''

''Making friends with this dorky super smart hand around, who told me that I was better than those sluts. Do you know what those girls said to me at 13? they said that on my 18th birthday they take me into church and _break me in _on the redwood where my dad had once sat, each and every one of them. So I was terrified of turning 18, so at 16 when Juan showed up he kept me sane and safe and didnt feel as alone here. He got Chibs to teach me how to fight, so I could stand up to the girls on my own and it worked.''

It tore him up hearing the sick things the croweaters had told her and how it had messed with her head-

''Girl I get that shit with you and Juice is complicated but you shouldnt have opened your mouth up like you did, in public to make a point.''

''I know but you have to realise that I was mad as hell, it all drove home how little I really know about you.''

He looked into her huge green eyes and then looked away, pacing trying to gather up his thoughts-

''Zoe I'm not one for spilling my guts, never have been, thats not something I can change over night its just how I am.''

''You make this so much harder for me, because I sometimes feel like I'm giving and not getting anything back from you.''

What the hell was she talking about?

She shook her head at his expression-

''Hap you're so closed off from everything remotely emotional, you do realise that right? The closest I've ever felt to you is when you came back from that run. I got this glimpse of who's on the inside of that cut, but morning came and I was back on the outside again.''

He was just in awe of how easily she just vocalised her inner feelings, like it was the simplest thing in the world, yet to him it felt like an impossibility-

''What do you want from me girl?''

Zoe heard something between desperation and frustration in his question, so she gave him blunt honesty in return-

''What I _want _is to know how this whole Juice thing made you feel, beyond the anger. Is there even a shred of anything else behind this? Or am I just wasting my time?''

Now Happy finally understood, she wanted to know how he felt about her...fuck that was a loaded question-

''How'd you feel about Angel?''

''The truth? Jealous as hell, because she got to be something to you that no other woman has a shot in hell of being to you again. That really sticks it in and breaks it off Hap, I'm jealous because I _really _care about you and I dont want to be some clueless bitch who doesnt even see that she's on a hiding to nothing. So now its your turn to answer the question, you're a smart guy so you know the subtext of it, just tell it to me straight. Dont pull your punches.''

Her honesty still had the ability to kick him in the face at times and now was no exception, there was no bullshit with her, maybe he owed her some honesty in return. After all she didnt have to put up with all of his silent guessing game bullshit, he'd been the one mouthing odd about hating game playing when he'd first patched in. If he was talking the talk it was time for him to man up ans walk the walk too.

''You're not on a hiding to nothing...with us. Its not just about one thing either.'' he paused watching her carefully for a reaction- ''I _do care _and it's...fucking with my head to know that Juice has been there before me. Yeah I'd suspected shit but finding out..thats not something I wanted to feel. But just so you know all this relationship stuff is new to me, who the hell gets to my age and is still in the dark?''

''Sons.'' she nodded appreciating how he was trying so hard to open up, in his own blunt, gruff way- ''Can I tell you something?''''Sure.'' he urged wanting as much information as he could get.

''Ok.'' she sat on the end of the stripped bed as he leaned against the dresser- ''You still scare the shit out of me- not in the way that I want to run from you, but more like I'm afraid to do what I feel is normal to me.'' she saw him frown, knowing she'd have to explain herself a little better- ''I have to physically stop myself from cuddling you in bed or touching you, because you've never done that with me. Yet I'm starting to really miss the intimacy of it all.''

Intimacy? He wasnt giving her intimacy? Shit that was a big thing to girls, even he knew that, but it was something that he'd avoided at all costs in his past dealings with women. Even faking it to the croweaters wasnt one of his moves, he didnt do it because it lead to expectations and that was his main issue- nobody had the right to expect shit from him if they meant fuck all to him!

Yet Zoe was his girl, she deserved the best of him and what he had to offer, he owed it to her to at the very least to give it a go-

''How about I try to work on that?'' she said cautiously.

She smiled softly-

''That's all I can ask.''

they lapsed into silence, not an uncomfortable one just one that allowed them both time to think for a few moments.

''Zo can I ask the question that no sane guy ever should?'' he began, meeting those eyes of hers.

''Sure why not? We're already tumbling ass over tit down the rabbit hole.''

''How long were you with him?''

''Hap I wasnt _with _him, it was just one night, I'd just had this really harsh brush off from this hot really hot guy.'' she said shooting him a look before carrying on- ''And Juice was all fucked up from Clay basically forcing him to carry out his first club ordered hit,you know him he's not cut out for that shit. We were the only ones we could turn to and one evening it just happened. But that was 6 years ago and nothing even remotely like it has happened since.''

Hap didnt want to dwell on the kiss on the swings he'd witnessed at his patch in party or the fact the the younger guy was clearly in love with his girl, it wouldnt help matters at all.

She had to hand it to him, he'd handled this whole talk much better than she'd expected, only time would tell if he could do the whole post sex intimacy part. She hoped that he could give her that, because censoring herself was going to be borderline impossible in the long run. Next time she had him in the sack she was going to put it to the test.

''Hap what are you going to do to Juan?'' she inquired cautiously.

''Nothing unless he asks for it. If he steps up or gets in my face I'm dragging his Rican ass to the ring and beating the ink off his head. But I've got some new rules for us too girl.''

''Rules?''

''Rules.'' he confirmed- ''Number One- you _dont _move back in with him. Number Two- never walk away from a fight with me. Number Three- tell me shit in the future, then I'll do the same. Think you can handle that?''

Zoe rolled her eyes at his commanding tone and gave him a mock salute, putting on her serious face. Which all earned her an eye roll from him in return-

''Anything else I should know before it causes another fight?'' he asked.

''Probably.'' she said looking up at him through her lashes.

He folded his arms over his chest, leaning back against the dresser once again-

''Spit it out then I ain't got all day.''

''When I was at UCLA I had an interesting job to pay the bills.''

''Keep going.' he said seeing the way she bit her lower lip fighting that irresistible grin of hers, god damn it that always lead to something bad.

''I was a...dancer.''

''You were a _stripper _you mean!''

''Oh dont come the puritanical prude with me Lowmen, it was just topless, nobody got within poking distance of my beav. Which is lucky because Kozik and Quinn would have freaked out so much more that they did.''

''Koz and Quinn saw you!''

''Yes but they only saw _one boob _, it was during my Halestorm _'American Boys' _routine. I figured it was best to tell you now, given that Koz is currently the number one clubhouse glabber mouth.''

Happy was in shock- ''Christ Zoe, you're going to go over my knee and get the spanking of a life time.''

''Hold that thought I've got a great leather paddle for that kinda thing.'' she winked eyes alight with possibilities.

He just shook his head, he'd been right last night this girl, _his girl _was fucked in the head and in the light of day he saw that it was all good with him.

**AN: I hope you liked the flashbacks and their version of a heart to heart, drop me a review and let me know what you think. Thanks so so much for all the reviews I loved reading every one of them you guys all rock the casbah :)**

**R&R please xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: hi guys sorry for the long wait but I had to work all over Christmas including Christmas Day which sucked the big one. So I hope you like the story update we're about to delve into the darker side of Gemma and Zoe's mother daughter relationship, so lets get the wheels in motion shall we...**

**I only own my ocs.**

**R&R**

Heart Shaped Box

Chapter 15

(Zoe)

_They say that variety is the spice of life and that trying new things is good for you...guess they've never dated a guy like Happy. The guys in the club aren't exactly known for their tender sides when it comes to the women they associate with. So trying to seek out the Killers ''softer side'' probably sounds like mounting a search for the Holy Grail. But fuck it- nothing ventured, nothing gained right?_

Happy fell back on to his bed, sweating, exhausted and completely satiated, it was official- make up sex really was the best kind and actually _was _worth fighting for. They'd practically destroyed anything that had gotten in their way on the path to his bedroom. Clothes were now stretched out of shape and torn in their list driven impatience. She was going to be bruised to hell soon from the way he'd fucked her against the dresser then over the end of the bed.

He kinda liked the feel of her curled up at his side, maybe he should wrap his arms around her or something? He'd said he'd give this intimacy thing a try after all.

Zoe lay there curled into him, feeling pretty dumb, she was aching, trembling and he wasnt even touching her at all, both of his arms were thrown behind his head, he had 20 more seconds and she was pulling away.

Her ass cheeks were stinging like crazy, he'd indulged in the kink with her by bending her over the end of the bed and spanking her until her skin felt like it's been beaten raw. She was all for it, but Christ he had a firm hand! They really needed to come up with a safe word for when they _played, _one that couldnt be mistaken for encouragement, like aardvark or Christmas, something very random.

Yet safe words kinda went out of the window if you were gagged, even a good hand gesture was rendered moot by hand cuffs or spreader bar applied to the wrists.

Her mental ramblings were silenced when his warm inked arms settled around her.

_'Oh my god he's actually holding me!' _Zoe squeezed her eyes shut, sinking into the feeling of being in his arms. She lay a gentle kiss against his ribs, to acknowledge his gesture, this was a big step for a guy like him.

At that moment she loved him even more than she had for trying to give her what she was needing from him.

Happy relaxed at the feeling of her kiss against his skin, it didnt feel alien or uncomfortable, it was just an extension of what they'd just shared. Yes, it'd been insane fucking, but that's not _all _it was, he hadnt been lying to her earlier- he did care about her, he was falling for her pretty hard and it was one of the very few things he'd faced that still had the power to scare him senseless. He felt her stir in his embrace and found her chin propped up on his ribs, those amazing eyes of hers telling him much more than her soft smile did- he'd made her happy.

''You ok girl?''

''Yep, a little banged up, but its all good, how you doing?''

He stroked her side knowing how ticklish she was, loving that it made her squirm closer, scrunching up her nose-

''I'm good, what's up? You look nuts.''

He teased running his fingers against her side again playfully.

Zoe liked this side of him, when he was all relaxed and having fun, just for her. His touch made her giggle-

''That tickled, quit it Hap.''

He shrugged-

''Dont know what you're talking about.'' he grabbed her quickly hauling her up his body on to his chest so he could attack both of her sides with his long nimble fingers. Her rich helpless laughter coming out gloriously, the sexy way she tried to avoid his fingers made her breasts press harder into his chest just how he liked-

''Do you surrender? Do you?''

She gasped- ''Yes! I surrender!''

Thankfully he stopped, she looked down at him trying to catch her breath, hair over one shoulder hanging down, laying on his soft skin beautifully. She saw him smiling up at her, dimples popping- fuck she was so in so much trouble, she was so deeply into him now, he had the power to break her into tiny pieces if he so chose.

''Happy?''

His dark eyes met hers- ''Yeah?''

''Thank you.''

''For what?'' he frowned not following.

''For doing _this _for me.''

He caught up now and reached up tucking her hair behind her ear and nodded-

''Just for _you, _its not so bad if I'm honest.''

Zoe smiled at him- ''Good I like it too.''

It was a special moment for just them , her fingers traced over his chest exploring his seemingly endless ink-

''Hap what's this one about?''

He looked down to the one she had zeroed in on, the one beside his smiley faces, it was two interlinked letters surrounded by roses and blue birds-

''That's for my ma and my father, its their initials- G and D. he had blue birds inked on his back and chest and my ma's favourite flowers are roses, so there you go.''

She looked at the personal ink and smiled- ''I like it...so why the snake?''

He watched her eyes go over his chest piece-

''Because the snake is natures silent predator, it strikes to kill and rarely misses.''

''Very fitting, I hate when people have ink that means nothing to them, its there to be seen and no other reason.''

''Zo, what does yours mean?'' he ran his hand down to her lower back.

''The stars on my hip and like the ones my dad on the inside of his arm with my name. The flowers on my lower back are for my dad, one flower for each year he's been gone and the poem is something I read in high school...it just stayed with me.''

Happy slid her from his chest so she lay on her stomach at his side and took a closer look at this ink, the one he should have been responsible for putting into her skin. He read the poem to himself-

_'Had I the heavens embroidered cloths,_

_en-wrought with golden and silver light_

_the blue and the dim and the dark cloths,_

_of night and light and half light,_

_I would spread the cloths under your feet,_

_but I being poor have only my dreams_

_I have spread my dreams under your feet,_

_tread softly because you tread on my dream.'_

He might be a tough killer for the club, but those words were very powerful ones to put into your skin for life, even he found a meaning in them. He also knew that they meant more to her then she was letting on-

''You gonna tell me the _real _reason behind this ink?''

She turned to look at him and felt exposed and so vulnerable to his gaze, she was suddenly all to aware of how naked she was-

''You want the truth huh?''

''All of it too, omit nothing.'' his hand rested on her hip, his little attempt at reassurance and itd hopefully keep her in place too, that fight of flight instinct was shining in her eyes clear as day.

''Ok, I got it when I was...22, it was right after you said all that shit to me at my party...to me it's about not feeling good enough to get what you want, but making life work despite that.''

Happy hated that he'd hurt her so much, what kind of man was he to make her feel like she wasnt good enough for him? If anything it was the other way around. His thumb caressed her hip bone softly-

''Its not how things were or are, it wasnt about being _good enough, _it was about me being ready and I wasnt back then.''

''And you are now?''

He nodded, moving up to kiss her lips, he didnt want her to keep living with that fear and worry, she deserved to feel secure with him, it was the least he owed her.

Later that day Zoe managed to get back to her studio and get painting up an idea she'd been struck with, while Happy began thinking of a way to get rid of Zoe's insecurities for good when it came to him, but nothing was coming to him.

He only did one thing when he needed time to think- he started cleaning his guns on a table in the corner of the clubhouse, out of the way of everyone else and everyone knew to leave him alone...well almost everyone.

Juice was sat at his desk working, sneaking looks across to the Killer, Christ he had to make this right, the guy was his club brother, they had a common ground- to protect Zoe from Clay and they couldnt do that while being at loggerheads.

Getting up, he knew he had to clear the decks, be the bigger man- so to speak.

Tig, Chibs and Bobby had been waiting to see if Juice would go over-

''Mother of Christ.'' Chibs cursed handing his $20 over to a grinning Tig.

''Told you the retard would go over there.'' Tog turned wanting to get the best view of Juice as he walked into the path of the tornado that was Happy.

Happy saw the shadow block out the light he was working in, exhaling impatiently as no ideas had yet come to him, he looked up and saw the nervous face of the last guy he wanted to see-

''Hap we need to clear the air.'' Juice ran his hand over his mohawk , filled with nerves as those soulless black eyes starred him down. Hell they damn nearly knocked his feet out from under him with the weight of that stare.

''You really think so?'' Happy gritted out in his usual rough mono tone way.

''Well y-yeah, we've got a common goal to handle.'' he shoved his hands into his pockets in an effort to hide his fidgeting hands from view.

Happy began resembling the now pristine gun that he'd had for many years- ''You really think that my club business is going to suffer because of _that?_ No you just want to be sure that I aint gonna kill you.''

Juice hated how easily this guy had read him-

''Ok fine that too.''

''You fucked _my girl.'' _Happy slammed the clip back in, feeding a round to the chamber, loving how twitchy he could make the younger guy- ''Does that register with you? _My _girl. _My girl _got fucked six ways from Sunday by _you.''_

Frowning Juice let his mouth take over-

''But she wasnt even your girl at the time!''

Happy glared- ''You _never _say that to me while I'm holding a loaded gun, you hear me retard? Now listen good because I'm only saying this once- she was _always mine, _she was just too young to know it and _you –_ you were just too blind to see it.''

Juice gulped, fuck this guy was a possessive nut job when it came to Zoe, but he wasnt backing down, gone were his days when he'd just roll over and play the placid nerd, he squared his shoulders and met those black eyes, proving that he'd earned his patch and wasnt going to be talked down to any more-

''Maybe so, but I'll always be in her life, whether you like it or not, its just something you have to live with now.''

Juice ended that with a shrug then walked away, having no fear for some odd reason.

Zoe painted until she couldnt do another stroke of work, her old jeans covered in paint, her little ballet pumps spotted with multi coloured dots, her black tank top loaded with hand marks and she'd never felt more at ease in all of her life. This was _her, _the real girl, nothing fake, just reality and she felt content- _finally._

She looked in the mirror and let her waves down from its loose ponytail and ran her stained fingers through the lengths before heading up to the clubhouse to see Happy.

Gemma came from the clubhouse kitchen with her cup of coffee in her hand and sat beside Jax at the bar, just in time to see Zoe enter smiling from ear to ear, looking a total train wreck.

Happy saw his girl smiling, looking elated , he knew that she was working on something special and clearly it was going well. He liked that she was as hooked on her job as she was, her independence and talent was a very attractive thing in his eyes, they made her who she was.

Over Zoe's shoulder she heard her ma call=

''Fuck Zoe you look like shit, what will it take for you to listen to me? A shower? Some make up? Maybe some clean clothes too perhaps? You wouldnt think you were my daughter at all.''

Everyone was shocked at Gemma's hurtful words to Zoe.

Happy saw his girl come to a total stand still, all that beautiful energy bleeding away at Gemma's cruel, thoughtless words. No wonder she'd always felt like she was never good enough, with her own mother saying shit like that, trying to make her over, to turn her into the stereotypical club princess she thought Zoe should look like- all fake nails and cheap high lights.

Something inside of Zoe just snapped, turning on her heel she glared at her smart mouthed mother, letting years of pent up frustration out at last-

''Well _this _is what real hard work looks like ma, not surprised you dont recognise it. This shit pile you have for a daughter has never relied on any man that looks her way to get ahead in this life. _This _is what goes to pay for your father in laws medical bills and his care bills- you know the ones you like to pretend dont exist. _This _is what keeps a roof over Wayne Unsers head and keep his meds stocked, after Clay used him up and threw him aside with nothing to his name.''

But Zoe still wasnt done, it just kept coming-

''I dont actually give a shit if I _look _''good enough'' to be seen here, because I break my back for this club. You can think what you like about my looks, but I sleep soundly at night knowing that my life will never revolve around shit stirring in other peoples lives to get my own selfish was. You should be fucking proud that I'm not some primped up little princess with no goals of her own in life apart from getting a crow on her skin, yet you give me all this shit! Attitudes like that is exactly what keeps the younger women of this club on the back foot, well I'm not standing for it any more, this bullshit right here ends _now.''_

Gemma had never had Zoe turn on her like that, looking around she could see that most of the guys seemed to be on Zoe's side. Jax gritted his teeth and shook his head at her, she knew she'd stepped way over the line now, yes the club loved her, but Zoe was their heart and soul.

''Go home right now ma.''

Happy got to his feet and was behind his girl, holding her shoulders, eyes now locked on Gemma's, daring the bitch to say another word. He could feel her shaking with rage under his hands, she leaned back into him, clearly needing his support, which he gave without question.

Gemma picked up her bag off the bar top, as the Killers stare bored through her, that guy was ready to knock her down to size-

''Sorry baby.'' she said a little too late even to her own mind, she left feeling like the shittiest mother in the world.

In her heart she knew that Zoe was stunning no matter how she looked, but she was at the clubhouse representing the Teller name and her man. How did she hope to keep his attention off the croweaters with the painter hippy look she wore so openly and in the clubhouse of all places?

Seeing Zoe unleash the fury within her was nothing short of terrifying, her baby girl was her daughter all right, but she had JT's brute honesty and razor sharp mind too, what hurt the most was the truth. Seeing Happy go into protective mode had been shocking, that scary bastard wouldnt bat an eye lid about tearing her limb from limb if it meant protecting Zoe.

Gemma knew when to get the fuck out and run and that look from the Killer had been the green light to flee,she'd fucked up in a big way and she couldnt go back to the bad times with Zoe, back when Thomas had died. Gemma had poured all of her love into Jackson, forgetting about her youngest child, her baby girl. JT had given Zoe all of the love tat she'd been incapable of giving her. They'd been like a little duo around the clubhouse, JT would have her in the auto shop handing him his tools as he worked, in her little specially made over alls. It was Zoe who'd be the one to greet JT when he came home form a run, and it was only Zoe and Jax that JT would look for when he got home.

In Gemma's head it was no wonder that she ended up rubbing it in his face about her affair with Clay. It'd been blatant and still it hadnt gotten his attention, all he'd seen was Zoe. The smart bastard had known that Gemma had as much as given up on their daughter, so he'd given her more love and attention that anybody could wish for. Just like he'd given Zoe and Jax every penny he'd ever earned in his will, leaving Gemma nothing but the house, even the business was the Teller children's Clay had long since only been there in name even back before JT's death.

Gemma had fought for years to make up for all of those years of neglect to her daughter, but even on their best days she could _feel _that Zoe didnt 100% trust her and that got to her. At times that anger over took her and it lead to out bursts like they'd just had.

Zoe felt raw and hurt, Tig shot her a reassuring look across the room, even feeling Happy's touch didnt help her feeling of exposure, she couldnt let herself break, not here not now, she had to tough it out.

In her ear she heard Happy's raspy tones say-''Show me your work girl, I wanna see what got you smiling like that.''

Thankful for his understanding life line, she looked back at him-

''Really?''

''Really.'' he confirmed.

With one hand on her lower back he guided her from the prying eyes and ones waiting to see her unleash the violent side to her character.

When he got her to her studio, he snapped on the lights and was greeted by a sight that he wasnt at all prepared for, no wonder she'd been pleased, yes it was unfinished but it was amazing for one afternoons work. There on the canvas lay a naked girl with a snake just like the one inked into his chest, coiled around her perfect curves, coiled up her legs, her stomach and its head laying between her perfect breasts. One arm was raised in the air, with a little blue bird perched on her finger, she was surrounded by rose bushed as she lay on a bed of lush green grass.

It became clear to him that the whole painting was an ode to his ink.

''So?'' she inquired, one arched brow raised- ''What does your _artistic _eye think?''

He loved that she saw him as an artist too, an equal when it came to their passion of creating -

''You've got a gift girl...no shit, you're something else.''

She smiled at him from her seat on the chez, relieved to hear something of a positive nature, she sat back feeling exhausted by the whole day. But those dark eyes were asking the questions she didnt really want to be hit by.

Folding his arms he waited for her to start talking, but her stubborn side was rearing its head, he wasnt going to have this at all-

''If I'm doing this intimacy thing, you've gotta meet me half way with the opening up part, so get talking. What the hell was all that in there with your ma?''

''Its what she does every now and then, its her way of making me pay for something I had no hand in..after my brother Thomas died...I was the forgotten kid, she was all about Jackson, not just because he was the spitting image of Thomas, but because he was her boy, her last boy, the _remaining son. _So my dad became _both _parents to me...he never gave my ma attention when she was ignoring me, it was his way of trying to make her see what she was doing to me, I was only 6 years old for gods sake. So it kinda helped to push my ma towards Clay's arms. Ma's never come out and said it to my face but I _know _she thinks that I'm the reason my dad stopped loving her.''

She paused gathering her thoughts-

''So that's why she does what you saw in there. Jax knows it too, so when our dad died Jax stepped in ans stopped her getting on my case as much.''

Happy couldnt ever imagine all of this going on, he knew Gemma was no saint but blaming Zoe for that kind of shit was just fucked up.

''So you can imagine how angry I was when my dad died. I was so ready to fight back by that age...''

''You were grieving.''

''It goes deeper than that Hap.''

He frowned- ''Go on, I aint gonna say shit to anyone, this stays between the two of us.''

''Ok, I _know _that Clay killed my dad, Jax knows, Piney knew it too...but in my heart I knew that it wasnt just Clay's doing, my ma is up to her neck in it too, only I can't prove that part. Even at ten years old I knew what grief looked like and my ma wasnt racked with grief, it was _guilt _and _shock. _Piney told me to keep a lid on it and I have for 18 years.''

Happy let it all sink in and a lot of puzzle pieces suddenly slotted into place-

''Does Clay know that you know?''

''No, or I'd have met with an accident years ago, he's out to get me purely to get to Jax, to make him react...so are you ready to bail on me yet?''

''Not just yet, but if Gemma or _anyone _talks to you like she did tonight, especially if I'm there too, I'm gonna knock them the fuck out.''

Zoe didnt doubt him for a second.

The next day Zoe and Kelly had organised to go out with the girls for a meal and it wasnt until the car pulled up to the restaurant that she realised where they'd actually some to-

''You've got to be kidding me.''

Tia smirked- ''What? This is _the _place to go in Lodi.''

Kelly chuckled- ''Little shit stirrer.''

They got out of the limo that Laroy had insisted that the girls took after they'd all met up at his club. 'The Golden Lotus' was Henry Lin's place and Zoe's girls all knew that the dapper owner liked to flirt with her. But what they didnt know was that Zoe and Henry had hooked up in L.A when they were all at UCLA, while he'd been in L.A on business

The pair had met when she was 20, dancing illegally in the strip club to pay her tuition, he'd seen her up on stage doing her thing and recognised her straight away. But she'd loved finally having her freedom for the first time her in whole life and it'd been wonderful to meet a guy like Henry who knew how to treat a girl. He'd kept her job a secret from the Sons and for his entire 6 week stay they'd been together, no demands, nothing sordid and not a single regret in sight.

Henry was in his office going over some paper work for the restaurant when the intercom on his desk phone buzzed, he hit the button-

''Yeah?''

''Boss we've four out of towners in the house.''

''Give me some names.''

''Kelly Delaney, Zoe Teller, Tia Alvarez and Monica Wayne. No escorts, just a driver waiting with their limo.''

''Just make sure that they get the best seats in the house.'' Henry said glad to hear that the girls were back, itd been a long while since they'd paid a visit.

When the four girls got seated they were at the very best that the place had to offer and straight away she knew that Henry's men had tipped the boss off to their presence. You really couldnt do anything around there without it being on someone's radar.

Once their drinks came and then the starters they got on to the subject of Roberto's disappearance, this was when she started having to put her years of club acting to the test.

''How long has he been gone?''Monica asked full of such genuine concern that it made Zoe feel like the lowest of the low.

''Ten days, he went out for guys night and never came home. I go to his place and find his phone and lap top gone, not a sign of foul play. My dad and uncle Marcus are saying nothing, I have no idea if he's gone off on an intel run or if he's gone AWOL from the club- which is a death sentence in our club.'' Tia knocked back her whole glass of wine.

Kelly rubbed Tia's arm comfortingly-

''Honey we can ask our guys if they can keep their ear to the ground about him, wont we Zo?''

Zoe felt ill, the guilty knowledge chewing her up, yet on the outside she was the concerned friend, her acting ability was scaring her to death, not that that showed either.

''Sure..I'll get Happy to pass it on to a few Nomads too.''

Fuck! Why had she said that?! The guy was buried fuck only knows where with half of his head blown off, thanks to _Happy, _this was fucked up even for her life.

Zoe's mind started to wander to Jax's predicament with the club and their solution. As far as she knew Jax hadnt reached out to Lin with their offer/request yet, Henry was the one they needed the biggest favour from. It was his middle east arms connections that they'd need. Maybe she could smooth the way, use what little influence she had to make a difference to the club.

When she zoned back into the conversation, neither Monica nor Kelly had been able to steer the conversation back to a positive level.

''I have this gut feeling that he's bailed on the club, ever since we got engaged, he's been...weird. His phone is glued to his hand, he was getting calls at all hours, I couldnt get him in the sack either, what if its another woman?!''

Monica poured her another glass of wine as Kelly whispered to Zoe-

''Well you did see him in town near the croweaters neighbourhood.''

Zoe just shrugged as non-committally as she could making sure to keep the sympathy in place.

Monica and Tia were oblivious to the Samcro girls little secret, Tia's glass was refilled as Monica went into mothering mode-

''Chill out, you're spinning here, Berto _isnt _cheating he's a smart cookie, itd be suicide. Your dad and uncle would have him in a shallow grave for even looking at another girl.''

As Tia chuckled, the mention of shallow graves gave Zoe a sick chill, her eyes went across the room looking for a distraction, just in time to see Henry walking down the red carpeted ornate stair case, looking so smart in his dark grey suit and his open collared burgundy shirt, hair immaculately styled, so handsome. Ok he wasnt her usual type, he wasnt tall or inked or buff, yet he had something about him, it was his cheeky charm, it was no wonder to her that women loved him.

She felt herself get shoved, turning she saw Kelly grinning like the Cheshire Cat at her-

''Reign in the eye fucking please, we know he's hot but Happy would dismember the guy for just talking to you, please dont get that man snuffed out its too much fun coming here.''

''_Snuffed out? _What is this? _Goodfellas?'' _Zoe chuckled- ''I'm just...admiring the view.''

She got up and smoothed down her pencil skirt and shot her girls a grin-

''back in a second.''

Tia couldnt believe her eyes, Zoe was actually going over to talk to Henry Lin!

''Is this actually happening?'' Tia asked unable to look away.

Kelly nodded- ''Lets just say that our girl has had a rough tow days, Gemma turned on her _again, _only this time it was in front of the whole club. Koz said that Happy was looking like he was gonna kill Gemma. But its been insane on _so many levels.''_

Monica's eyes grew- ''There's more?''

''Get this- turns out that Happy has been _married _before and it all came out and blew up, leading to Zoe publicly revealing she'd fucked Juice, in a total fir of rage, it was a mess. I didnt believe for one second that they'd sort it out, but miracles do happen ladies.''

Zoe smiled at Henry as he leaned against the bar-

''Hello Miss Teller, what brings you yo my establishment this evening?''

''Its girls night, long time no see Henry.''

They hugged briefly and he smirked-

''I'm always around, you just never came looking.''

She couldnt help but laugh, he was so smooth-

''Touché but I need a few minutes of your time if you have no pressing engagements.''

He was intrigued by her, he sipped his vodka, his full attention on her now, her confidence never wavering once-

''Ok I've got nothing on that can't wait.''

''Thank you, well here goes nothing- my brother doesnt know that I'm here talking to you, hell he's got no idea that we know each other aside from a passing acquaintance. I swear I'm here of my own volition- when Jax calls you or comes to you, he's got an offer and a request to make, please can you give it some _real _ thought. Everything that means something is riding on this and the club needs help, your help.''

He could see how much this meant to her-

''Sure Zoe I promise to hear Jax out and give his offer _real _thought. I know you can't tell me anything about club business, but tell me- are _you _in some kind of trouble?''

''Its complicated...family stuff.''

Henry nodded knowing that her family issues went as deep as his own-

''Just remember if you ever need my help you just have to give me a call, just be careful not to tell your boyfriend about my offer of help and sanctuary.'' he smirked taking another sip of his drink.

''Boyfriend? How do you know I've got a boyfriend?'' she teased,

''Words travel awful fast in this part of the county and I know his reputation,so get back to the girls before you put my life in added danger.'' he was so pleased when he saw her smile.

When she got back to the table the mains had arrived and the conversation was back to Roberto _again,_ she had to get away, so fired a sneaky text to Happy-

_''S.O.S girls night is a total bust, call me and pretend to be super pissed. Please?''_

Less than a minute later her cell rang.

''Shit its Hap.''

Kelly bit her lip-''Is he going to be pissed when he finds out where you are?''

''Oh yeah,'' Zoe replied answering the call-''Hey Hap, how you doing?''

''Pretend to be pissed huh? You asked for it.'' he cleared his throat and went for it- ''WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GIRL!?''

Fuck he was loud and he sounded genuinely pissed, damn role play with him was going to be a head fuck and a half-

''Hap calm down, I'm in a restaurant.''

''WHERE?''

''In Lodi.''

''GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW! DONT MAKE ME DRAG YOU HOME GIRL OR MAYBE I SHOULD!''

''What?''

''GIVE ME A NAME.''

''The Golden Lotus.''

He quietly said- ''I'll be there in 15.'' then yelled- ''YOU SKIP OUT LIKE THIS AGAIN AND I'LL TIE YOU TO THE MOTHER FUCKING BED!''

with that he hung up,she exhaled trying not to laugh and looked at her three girls-

''Hap's pissed and is picking me up in 15.''

Kelly cringed- ''I'm staying at Monica's, but are you _sure _you want to go with him? I saw what he did to Koz's nose, and he sounded _so _angry Zo.''

''Honey I can handle him I promise.''

15 minutes later she was hiking up her pencil skirt to a dangerous level to get on to the back of Happy's bike-

''God am I glad to see you, every conversation lead back to Roberto vanishing.''

''Fuck, well lets get you home girl.''

''Hold up can we go to your place? I can't face ma yet.''

He reached back and squeezed her knee as she put the spare helmet on-

''Sure thing.''

Zoe knew that it was time to start looking for a place of her own to live, she couldnt keep crashing at Hap's place he was a guy who liked his space and the clubhouse got a bit much after a few weeks of bad water pressure and the sound of fucking filtering through the walls every night. She'd also promised never to go back to Juice's place so her options were limited to one- moving into her own place somewhere in town.

When they pulled up to his place, Happy helped her off his bike and couldnt help but eye up her toned long legs, he saw that she wasnt bare legged at all, she was wearing stockings, he removed his helmet and riding goggles, took the helmet from her hands hanging it up too, stopping her getting off the bike, making her sit side saddle on it on his drive, making her frown-

''You ok?''

''Fine, so are these the hold up kind or the old school ones with the garter belt?''

she felt his rough thumbs stroke the black lace tops of her neutral stockings, the chill of the night air not fully responsible for her shudder-

''Take a look.'' she replied softly, loving when he got all hot like this, his calloused fingers ran up her thighs, inching her skirt higher, revealing the black lace garter snaps.

Happy was rock hard and ready for her the moment he saw her in the outfit outside the restaurant, in her close fitting pencil skirt, high heels, the black wide patent leather belt drawing in her tiny wait and the corset pushing up her amazing breasts, she was sexy sophistication, already without finding out what she had hidden beneath it, it was way too much to just let it slide. If they were anywhere else, he'd have had her bent over his bike, skirt pushed up around her hips as he fucked her from behind, but he didnt go in for peep shows in suburbia, so they took the action inside.

Zoe wasted no time the next day, she had to get the next step in motion- finding a house without breaking the bank. The estate agent seemed very confident that they'd find her a house in the area she wanted. She wanted to be close to Juice and Happy as well as Jax, Tara and the boys. Tow bedrooms, garage and detached too. The main thing was to be as far away from her ma, Clay and any of the San Joa sheriffs as she could get too.

Coming out of the estate agents she was pleased with herself, until she saw who was leaning against her car on the drivers side- Clay Morrow!

She wasnt scared of him as a person, then man was a crippled coward, but he had guilty knowledge that could send her and Juice down. Not that that meant she was going to grovel to this fucker, not in a million years.

''You dont have a smile for your old dad?''

That big sinister grin of his flashed and set her teeth on edge-

''You're not and never were my father Clay and I stopped smiling for you when I had to peel my ma off the kitchen floor after you'd beat the shit out of her.''

Clay laughed at her fire, then at her calm returning at lightning speed, but he knew that just beneath the surface was a tigress ready to tear his head off-

''You and I both know that your ma aint no saint here Princess. Your old dad in his grave can testify to that.''

His cold blue eyes stared at her, but she knew his game and she wasnt going to fall for it for a second that her dad's death was all on Gemma, no way. Clay was 50% to blame too.

''Nice try Clay, but its me you're talking to here, you can't twist my head up like you can with other people. I'm not getting involved with any of your bullshit with the club.''

''Princess you can act like you're on the outside, but we both know that you're all the way in, you're practically Jax's VP, you probably know more than Bobby and Chib's combined. You might want to remind yourself how easily your perfect little life could come unravelling if the wrong person found out whats really behind this little act of yours. You're a fucked up brat, who'd easily _kill _for the club if the right person was to whisper in your ear. Respect princess, its all about _respect.''_

Happy was in the auto shop listening to Chibs and Bobby reminiscing about the women of their pasts and it settled on to Chibs and Fiona and Bobby and his first wife- Hazel. It got Happy thinking about himself and Zoe and the fact that they were dating- to go with the official term. Yet they hadnt been on an actual _date._

Never once in his life had he done the wining and dining bullshit thing, in general one night stands didnt require or deserve that kind of fan fair and effort, romance wasn't exactly high on the agenda during those sessions. But his girl deserved something nice, especially with all of the drama she was facing with Gemma, Clay and his annulled marriage coming out too, pile that on top of Roberto's hit and he knew what he had to do- take her on _his version of a date._

What did she like? It wasnt like he could start asking the guys, he had a reputation to protect and they all gossiped like women, so that option was out for a start. The girls would take over and itd get out of hand. He only trusted one woman with this delicate task- his ma! Yes, he'd go see her after work and pick her brain, yes that was his best and _only _option. First date? Christ what was he getting himself into here?

**AN: hi I hope you liked it, the poem Zoe has inked on her is by W.B Yeats it's ''Cloths of Heaven'' and I have in tattooed on my back with the same star that my dad had inked on his arm, I think the poem is amazing.**

**Drop me a review and let me know what you guys think. :)**

**R&R xx**


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